Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's. Duh.

Oh yeah, and sorry about the poopy pennames that Edward and Bella have, I'm not smart enough for stuff like that(:


"…Remember, this assignment will be worth a lot of extra credit, so I would advise you to complete it," Mr. Mason was explaining to the class. That was the only part of his speech that I actually heard, the rest of it was just mindless talk in the background. I was currently sitting in my English class, and, after drifting off into my thoughts a long while ago, staring out the window and into the downpour outside. It was the very end of school, only about three days left until we were unleashed into the rain and other ridiculous weather troubles for three months, the season that the good people of Forks, Washington call summer.

I had just now come to the realization that we actually were doing something that involved thinking, obviously, and I had no idea what it was. I searched my mind, struggling to remember if I had heard the concept of the assignment.

I hadn't. Pouting, I decided to ask the girl sitting next to me, Jessica Stanley, if she knew what we were doing.

"Were you not paying attention?" Jessica said when I asked. She was evidently irritated.

I shook my head no and smiled sheepishly.

Jessica sighed and attempted to explain. "We're writing notes to other members of the junior student body. Basically, everyone is required to do it, but the teachers say it's just extra credit. But you don't use your real name. You make up a penname, write it down, and put it in that big ugly hat sitting up at the front. Mr. Mason will shake all the names up, and you draw out a new name. You don't know who you get, just their penname. We write to that person all summer, and turn in three notes to our English teacher next year for extra credit. I don't know what it's supposed to help us do, but, whatever, like I really care anyways."

I pretended like I understood, widening my eyes in false comprehension and nodding vigorously.

Jess saw right through that. "Bella, it's really not that hard to acquire. Think of it as a pen pal, only with a funky name."

"Oh, okay. I think I get it now. Thanks, Jess!" I said, my brain finally wrapping around this simple project.

At that moment, Mr. Mason called, "Okay, I want you all to write down your desired penname. Please make sure it does not release too much information about yourself, as you don't want to spoil the surprise! I will come around and collect them in a moment."

I ripped off a sheet of paper for myself before tearing off another for Jessica and handing it to her, carefully thinking of what I wanted my alias to be. I was incredibly clumsy, but everyone knew that. I couldn't walk across a horizontal surface without falling on my face, much less a slanted one. Everyone also knew that my name was Bella Swan, the Police Chief's seventeen-year-old daughter. I bit my lip in concentration, having no clue as to what my penname should be. Well, the clumsy part was my only lead; besides, there were tons of awkward people in my class, no one would know it was me. Finally settling on a stupid false name, I folded my slip of paper and waited patiently for Mr. Mason to walk around to my desk.

While I was waiting, I was tempted to peek over at what name Jessica had picked, but if I picked her name, where would the fun in that be? I closed a fist around my slip and folded my hands together, looking down at them.

"Miss Swan, Miss Stanley?" Mr. Mason asked, appearing in between my desk and Jessica's. He shoved a black top hat under my nose and watched my paper flit inside, landing gracefully on top of other pieces of lined parchment.


This assignment is completely pointless. I mean, we're seventeen. We know how to write letters and use correct grammar. If we were being forced to do this, would be so hard to be allowed to do it via instant messaging? Using the post takes forever.

I vaguely wondered who I would get as a "pen pal". Hah, think of how weird it would be if I got Alice as my partner. I snorted to myself.

Alice Cullen was my sister. She was also sitting right next to me, rattling on about what alias I should choose. She would already know what I was going to pick as my penname, she'll no doubt peek when I eventually got around to writing it down. Mr. Mason was walking around the room, collecting scraps of paper from the other students.

I sat in my desk, staring blankly at my bit of paper, mulling over what stage name I should choose.

Alice was still chattering at top speed. "..You may also want to try 'the silent man', since you're very quiet most of the time or something like 'the piano boy' since you play the piano very well and also, you play it a lot, so… O-M-G you could call yourself 'Mr. I-Think-I-Know-Everything' because that's so totally true, you like to think you can read minds or someth-"

I cut her off with a loud, "Alice!" and she quickly shushed herself and looked over at me, eyes wide.

"What is it, dear brother?" she asked, her eyes wide with false innocence.

"I'm just going to come up with something on my own, Miss," -I glanced at her fragment of paper- "Pixie? What is that? I think you should stick with something more like 'hobbit'. It's much more fitting."

Alice just rolled her eyes. "Just write something down, quickly, Mr. Mason is coming over fast."

I swiftly grabbed my pen and scrawled down Insane of Mind.

Don't ask me why I picked that, though, because I had no idea, my hand just wrote it automatically. Well, technically it is true. I am insane, mostly the cause of living with a hyperactive sister. And what Alice had said was true, partly: I did like to think that I could understand people's thoughts better than most. I was a pro at reading people's facial expressions.

Now, dropping my piece of lined paper in Mr. Mason's battered old top hat, I wished I had changed my name. It's so stupid! Why wasn't I more creative? I shouldn't have ignored Alice when she was trying to help me; she was the most right-brained person I knew.

Well, too late now. I thought to myself. Just hope that whoever your pen pal is has a retarted name, too.

Sighing, I rested my chin on my hand and idly watched the teacher finish gathering the names and move back to the front of the room.

Mr. Mason shuffled the hat around, and the swishing sound of paper could be heard throughout the room.

He moved back around the way he came, letting my classmates stick their hands inside the cap and pull out bits of parchment.

When he reached mine and Alice's desks, Alice sucked in her breath and plunged her hand into the papery mass.

I followed suit.

Slowly unfolding the paper, I glanced up once, looking promptly around the space, before looking back at the paper.

Inside the fold was two words, and there was no denying that it was as brainless as mine, because it was. I chuckled to myself as I read the words:

"Quite Clumsy."

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Song: Sneakernight - Vannessa Hudgens (ooooooo!)