A/N So, I wrote this quite a while ago with an actor actually in mind (if you can guess the actor, you get...uhm...well, you have excellent deduction skills...you can have the peanut butter that's rotting in my cupboard. Yes, peanut butter can go bad DX) Anyways, I decided to revise it, and finally post it on here. This is all from Haruhi's perspective and is definately AU. I mean...it doesn't get much more AU than this. And if Haruhi seems a bit OOC at times, I just have to say that her character has evolved a bit as a result of her past. So, without further ado, Chapter One!


Chapter One

Let me take you down…

Running. Again. Escaping from a past that I wanted to forget forever, but I knew would be engraved in the recesses of my mind for the rest of my life. Why me? Or better yet, why did I make the decisions that I knew would be disastrous, that I knew would alter my path for the worse? Of all the people that I could run into that cloudy afternoon, it had to be him. It had to be Hiro, a young man that would later turn to be an abusive boyfriend, a heavy drinker and drug user, and a wannabe rocker stuck in the wrong era. God, what was I thinking? But he seemed so kind, a handsome guy whose passion about music brought a smile to my face. He was such a…

"Get the hell out of the car," he glared at me. "Are you deaf?! Get the hell out of my damn car!"

Fucking asshole.

"Where am I supposed to go Hiro? What the hell am I supposed to do?" I screamed.

"I don't care! I don't have the time to deal with you anymore! Get out of the fucking car!"

"Hiro," I pleaded, "please don't do this. Please." I would find out later why I was so desperate to stay with him, even though I wanted nothing more than freedom.

He slapped me across the face, leaving a red welt and a bruise that would show his ugly anger a day later. "Don't fucking talk to me like that," he snarled. Then like that, he started to shout. "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" He reached over, opening the passenger side door, and pushed me out into the street. I was too stunned to react and just numbly watched his car drive away after he threw my bag out the window. I saw the red tail lights dimmer until he was out of sight. Out of my life.

Shakily, I picked up my bag and started walking.

xxx

I didn't know where I would go, or what to do. I didn't even know where I was. I hated myself for not paying attention to where we were going. "Too late now," I thought to myself as I stumbled disoriented in the dark. I had three choices: Knock on a few doors and try my luck to stay at some kind hearted soul's place for the night, hide on someone's property and try to fall asleep in some bushes, or spend all the money I had to stay in some cheap dirty motel. I checked my tote to see how much money I had anyway. "Great, 5,000 yen," I mumbled to myself as I counted what I had to live with. "Well, I'm not going to survive for very long." I decided to ditch the motel idea as there was no way I could afford it and manage to feed myself. Thinking of food made me all the more miserable. "When was the last time I ate?" I thought to myself. I had become addicted to alcohol; it had become my master and I loved it but it showed no feelings in return. Because of this newfound love, I never bothered to eat as I only wanted to drink sweet ecstasy. And I'm not talking beer. I'm talking about straight up liquor, even whiskey when nothing else was around. None of those frilly martinis. Thank God I never got hooked on drugs. Sure I experimented some, that's what happens when you're involved in a band. Coke, lace, junk, jack, weed, I've tried them all. Fortunately, it never gave me the high that it blessed Hiro with. No wonder he could stand living in such a hellhole.

My thoughts were interrupted when I saw a porch light up ahead. My heart racing, I rested all of my hope upon that glorious lantern that lit up half the neighborhood. Quickly, I ascended the steps, knocking on the door, and prayed that the person found inside would take pity on me and allow me to stay the night. I waited silently in the dark, my pulse pounding so fierce I was afraid I would simply explode just as the homeowner opened the door, and he would find a mess of gore on his front porch. I waited, shifting from side to side and rubbing my hands together from the chill. No one answered.

"Well, this isn't part of the plan," I thought to myself, as I degradedly walked to the next house. This is what happened at every door. Either that or they would frantically tell me to "Go on home." I had no home to go to. Couldn't they see that? I even had one middle age man start cussing me out, using such colorful language to make children's ears bleed. I was out of his sight faster than grease lightning.

"There's no where to go," I said, "No one will help me." I decided to try one more house, just one, to see if there where any kind souls left in the world, and if I was put down again, I would go with plan B. If they rejected me, I would pay them back the favor by sleeping in their shrubbery. Case closed.

I humbly walked up the steps. "So this is what a hobo feels like. Nice to know," I grumbled to myself as I shakily knocked on the door. I heard someone turn the lock and was soon face to face with a young man.

"Yes?" he asked in a confused tone. Who could blame him? I would be suspicious too if some weird disheveled girl appeared on my doorstep.

"Um…I was just wondering…I mean, I don't know you or anything, but could you, um…" I stumbled over the words.

"If you're looking for a place to stay, I'm sorry, I just can't let some stranger sleep in my house."

"No! Wait! Please, I have no where else to go. I have no money, nothing." He looked at me in pity and started to close the door. "If you could only understand the situation that I'm in. I'm not looking for money or drugs or anything! I just need a place to stay for the night!" I broke down, falling to my knees on his welcome mat. The tears I tried so hard to conjure wouldn't come; I couldn't remember the last time I cried. I never felt so pathetic in my life. I must've been the most pathetic person he'd seen in his life too, I can think of no other reason why he would've opened that door again.

"What's your name?" he whispered softly, a new light in his caring eyes. Why hadn't I noticed those eyes before? Brilliant orbs of golden light, they radiated a passion for life and almsot childlike innocence. I later realized that they could also prove to be a fatal flaw, as nothing could be hidden within those windows to his soul.

"Haruhi," I replied breathlessly.

He opened the door completely. "Come in."