TEN GOOD REASONS
A/N: This is just an answer to Mulder giving Bill 10 good reasons why he should accept Mulder and Scully getting married… Sounds easy doesn't it? But Bill's an ass of course.
Mulder met Bill at his home on the Navy base. Normally he wouldn't dare meet Bill Scully jr on his home turf. But this went way beyond that. He wasn't greeted with much enthusiasm.
"Fox Mulder." He eyed Mulder threateningly, but invited him in anyway.
"I've come to ask you for Scully's hand in marriage." Mulder said as he attempted to keep a safe distance away from Bill.
He was greeted by the uncomfortable silence, "Fox Mulder." Bill said, "If you can give me ten good reasons why I should let you marry Dana."
"Ok… Bill." Mulder said, "Number one… I love-"
"Without mentioning loving her." Bill interrupted, "I want you to really think about this. And no way knowing I want to make it easy." His eyes glared into Mulder's soul as he waited for Mulder to continue.
"Ok…" Mulder thought for a moment, "Number ten… You're protective, overbearing which is everything a man can ask for in a brother-in-law. I've always felt something for you. We can be great as a family." Mulder thought again, "Number nine… Dana really keeps me grounded and in line."
Bill was sure he couldn't get ten reasons and he smiled.
"Number eight… Your mother is a great woman. She's treated me with such respect and care that fills a void that I've felt ever since my mother died." Mulder continued, "Number seven… If I don't marry Scully, Agent Myers will be next in line. And trust me, you don't want him in the family."
If anyone can get under Mulder's skin, they have to be bad, Bill thought to himself so he nodded.
"Number six… You have to admit that Scully's apartment is too big for one person." Mulder smiled, "I've got enough clutter to bring that apartment down to size. Number five… We can cut down on gas expenses by carpooling to work. Number four… With you away on a ship most of the time at least you know there's a strong man there to protect her."
Bill's smile was slowly fading.
"Number three… She will never feel down because I'll always do or say something stupid to make her laugh." Mulder continued on, "Number two… forty two."
"Forty two?" Bill raised his eyebrow.
"Yeah… Number forty two is the answer to the universe." Mulder thought, "Number one… Number one, number one."
"Hah." Bill laughed, "Looks like you lose."
"Wait a minute." Mulder said, "The number one reason is… I'm too sexy. I'm too sexy for my shirt… Too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy it huuuurts." Mulder began to sing, "I'm too sexy for a party, too sexy for a party… No way am I dancing." Mulder began really getting into it, "I'm a male agent you know what I mean… I work hard in the basement… Yeah the basement, yeah the basement. I do work hard in the basement… Yeah!" Mulder turned like a male model, "I'm too sexy for a rental car. Too sexy for a rental car… I'm the sexiest male agent by faaaar."
"Get out of here." Bill said. Both embarrassed and annoyed.
"So do I have your permission?" Mulder asked.
"No." Bill pushed him out the door.
"But I gave you ten good reasons." Mulder responded.
"Yes you did Fox Mulder." Bill said, "But I still hate you."