Warnings: Holoforms and fanboy fanservice

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author's Note: I hate the fragging song. I have to hear it pretty much every day at work, because it just happens to be number one on the charts in Canada. And it keeps getting stuck in my head. And so, naturally, it took advantage of my late-night over-tired reading of Insecticomics and sprouted this little drabble. Definitely a one-shot.

- I Kissed a Girl -

"So what's this new guy like?" Maggie asked as took a sip of her milkshake and watched the cars pass by outside the truck stop.

"Hm -boring, logical, by-the-book, emotionally detached." the busty black-skinned beauty across from her replied, poking at one of the fries on Maggie's plate curiously. Maggie had no fear of it being stolen, however, as she knew the woman across from her couldn't eat. Hell, technically the 'woman' wasn't even real, let alone female. It had taken Maggie and the other humans awhile to get used to the Autobot's odd holoforms - from Prime's practical definition of bishonen to Ironhide's Goth look, they weren't exactly what was expected - but when it came down to it, Jazz deciding for some odd reason that he wanted a female holoform was one of the least strange.

"So, Spock?" Maggie inquired, and there was an almost imperceptible stillness as the reference was looked up.

"Sorta. He hasn't sworn off of emotions, he just doesn't show them often. I used to figure that he just thought that as Prime's second-in-command, he shouldn't show emotion, but I think he was like that even before the war." Jazz replied, chuckling. Maggie nodded and popped a few fries into her mouth, only to frown as she swallowed them, a thought occurring to her.

"Wait, his second-in-command? I thought you were." she said.

"Only for this unit. Technically I'm the head of the Autobot army special operations division, and third on the food chain. Possibly fourth. Depends if Ultra Magnus stops being a wimp and actually accepts the fact that he's in a command position." the holoform replied.

"Ultra Magnus?" Maggie said, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, big guy, looks a lot like Prime, but has more of a sense of humour and less of a desire to lead. He and Prime go way back." was the reply. Maggie nodded again and had a few more fries.

"So why didn't we detect this guy landing?" she asked.

"He ain't called 'Prowl' for nothing." Jazz replied dryly. "I have a hard time picking him up if he doesn't want me to - your scanners, no offence, don't really stand a chance."

"None taken." Maggie said easily, then glanced out the window as the holoform straightened, gaze focused outside. Maggie arched her eyebrow again as she saw a highway patrol car pulling into the parking lot. Somehow, she wasn't surprised when it pulled into the stall next to the shiny silver Pontiac solstice that she'd arrived in, but she had a suspicion that things were about to get interesting - and complicated - when the patrol car parked so close that the two car's side mirrors practically touched. That suspicion grew exponentially as a female patrol officer that could have easily passed for a supermodel stepped out of the driver's seat.

Maggie glanced over at the woman across from her, and mentally groaned as she saw the wide grin on 'her' face. Then she groaned out loud as she looked around the truck stop and found most patrons' - and staff members' - attention focused on the new arrival as she entered and headed straight for Maggie and Jazz's table. By the time the 'patrol officer' reached their table, Maggie was ready for just about anything - except what happened.

The hoots and whistles from the patrons were vaguely noted by some part of Maggie's brain, but the majority of it was being used up for the task of gaping and trying to comprehend just why two alien robots, who she had been assured were both of the male gender for their species, decided to use female human holoforms to make out in the middle of a truck stop. She still hadn't figured out why when they finally broke apart and decided to have a seat, the patrol officer blushing furiously at the attention from the rest of the people, while the black beauty grinned and waved before sitting. Maggie stared between the two of them, unsure what to say, and eventually decided to go with the first thing that had popped into her head -

"So does this make you gay or lesbian?"


I kissed a girl and I liked it

The taste of her cherry chap stick

I kissed a girl just to try it

I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong

It felt so right

Don't mean I'm in love tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it

I liked it

- "I Kissed A Girl", Katy Perry