Chief Medical Officer Beverly Crusher was in her office, bored. The same ailments are treated all the time with the same result and diagnosis, she thought. Why can't we just malfunction some devices on purpose? Then she came up with a brilliant idea.
Next, some guy came in with a broken arm. Taking out her tricorder, Dr. Crusher decided to try this out. "You have a broken arm," she informed her patient. "Tie this arm to a tree branch, and go to sleep for a week. When you have finished, come back to me, and I'll give you a new branch."
"Dr. Crusher, report to the Bridge."
"You have a stomachache," she responded pleasantly. "Drink some tea."
"WHAT!? DR. CRUSHER, REPORT TO THE BRIDGE, DAMMIT!"
"Ah! You also have a headache, apparently. A nice sleep will help."
"I DO NOT NEED TO REST, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I NEED YOU ON THE BRIDGE NOW!" Captain Picard's voice roared over the communicator.
Five minutes later, Dr. Crusher and Picard were arguing. "I THINK THAT YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF BEING CAPTAIN! I RELIEVE YOU IMMEDIATELY!
"WELL, I THINK THAT YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF BEING A MEDICAL OFFICER! I RELIEVE YOU IMMEDIATELY!"
"YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF RLIEVING ME! I HAVE ALREADY RELIEVED YOU!"
"WELL, YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF RELIEVING ME SINCE YOU ARE ALREADY RELIEVED!"
"YOU'RE DIRTYING MY BALLERINA OUTFIT!
Commander Data whirled around in his chair at Ops. "Captain, we have arrived at Starbase 75897697."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher called from Conn, "And we're about to crash into it."