Caffeine by blackdragonflower

Requested by: cratermaker

Summary: He was bored. Nothing good ever spawned from his boredom. Those three words, "I'm so bored" always caused trouble, and this time it involved the enemy in white and a not so innocent thing called caffeine. Involves: Matt, Mello, Near

Characters belong to Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata

Warning: Near may be a little... erm... OOC.


Plunk. Plunk. Plunk.

Beep. Bloop-blip! Beep boop.

Plunk. Plunk. Plunk.

"God I'm so bored..." Mello muttered as he threw a tennis ball against the wall and caught it as it came bouncing back. He grew peeved when his roommate didn't answer him. "Matt?"

"... Must... beat... boss..." The blonde rolled his eyes then chucked the tennis ball. It hit its target straight on and Matt yelped loudly. He would've dropped his game had he not had a death grip on it from the tension and anxiety of play. He whined and gave a puppy dog face at his buddy. "What was that for?"

"I'm bored."

The third smartest at Wammy's pursed his lips, "Doesn't mean you have to hit me..." Mello huffed and turned over on his bed, giving the gamer the cold shoulder. Matt sighed, saving his game, and rubbed his eye. "Well Mells what do you want to do?"


"What something?"


Matt got up from the floor and plopped himself down on his buddy's mattress. "You're not helping... at all ya know."

"Shut up and think of something..."

"God you're an ass when you're like this!" The redhead blew a strand of hair from his face after rolling his eyes. "You need a hobby."

"You need a life."

"Touché. You're one to talk."

"God!" Mello whined, "I'm so bored!" He kicked the wall frustrated again and again. "Bored, bored, BORED!"

Matt smacked Mello upside the back of his head. "Quit it! You're gonna get the warden down here if you keep up that crap Mells!"

Mello just turned to face the other boy a menacing look in his cold blue eyes. He hissed, "Then find a way to solve my boredom!"

"Did you have soda?"

"No..." Mello growled, "and what does that have to do with anything?!"

"Hold on..." Matt tapped his forehead with his finger thinking. His thoughts were going somewhere they probably should never wander. They were sprinting quickly to a place they should never reach, an idea that should never be hatched. "I GOT IT!"

"Got what Matt? A brain?" The blonde poked his friend's side.

"Ha ha very funny Mell-o. No, for your information I thought of something to relieve your boredom."

"And what might that be?"



Matt had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at his insane little friend's perplexed expression. "Okay... who's the most boring, dull person in all of Wammy House?"

"That bloody twit Near..." Mello's eyes narrowed just hearing his competitor's name, "Where is this going Matt?"

"Just let me finish!" Matt rolled his eyes. "Near's boring we all know but what if...?"

"What if what?"

"What if he was jumped up with caffeine?"

"Why that's the most..." Matt prepared himself to be hit or have some manner of cursing yelled at him about his stupidity, but was surprised when something else happened. Mello grabbed him around the neck and dug his knuckles into bright red hair for a loving nuggie. "ingenious idea you've ever come up with!"

Matt squirmed laughing, "I know I'm a genius! It's about time you figured that out!" Mello chuckled and brought his fist kindly down on Matt's head where he'd been hit with the tennis ball minutes earlier. "Yow!"

"Lets go. We have the kitchen to raid for the caffeine needed to take Near down."

Matt jumped up and saluted, "Ai ai cap-e-tan!"

Mello hopped to his feet a devious smirk tainting his lips. "He'll pay for ever getting in my way of being number one!"

"Hee hee hee..."

It wasn't long before Mello and Matt were peeking their heads out from Near's doorframe. The albino looked up at them then returned to calmly clashing two robots together in battle. Mello's nose crinkled in disgust. He hated Near so much the boy's name instantly caused Mello's eyes to narrow and muscles to tense. Matt held the bottle of Coca-Cola behind his back, a warm grin on his face. He waved with a free hand. "Hiya Near! What'cha playing?"

"Robot wars." He calmly replied in his monotone way.

"Huh... I see..." Matt took a sip of the Coca-Cola. "It's really hot in here Near... aren't you like dying of heat?"

"Not really."

"Well... would you like a sip of my coke?"

The albino cocked his head to one side the look on his face saying that he'd never heard of such a thing. "Coke?"

Matt took another sip of the drink. "Yup. Coke. What I have in my hand. It's really tasty." Near's gaze flickered to where Mello watched on. Though his face betrayed none of what he was pondering about his eyes held a questionative glimmer. Something seemed strangely amiss, but Near was curious as to what the coke tasted like. It obviously wasn't poisoned or anything like that since Matt was drinking from it. It seemed harmless, and that's what worried him. "C'mon Near!"

"Alright." The redhead grinned widely and handed over the bottle.

"Go ahead!" The smartest of Wammy House examined the liquid before putting the rim of the bottle to his lips and taking a sip. It was sweet and fizz bubbled on his tongue pleasantly. Near licked his lips. He found he liked the taste despite how he generally hated sweet things, and looked up at the gamer that seemed amused. The albino tried returning the bottle but Matt put his hands up. "If you like it you can have it! I can always get another one. Enjoy it Near!" Matt had to resist skipping to his best friend and closed Near's bedroom door behind him so they could peek through the keyhole. Matt snickered when he was free. Mello had his gaze hovering by the keyhole and watched the inside of the room. Matt leaned against Mello trying to get a peek for himself. "What's going on?"

The blonde hmphed, "He's drinking it... really slowly..."

"So it'll take forever then huh?"

"No. He's drinking it quick for him, slow for us..."

"Ah!" Matt's eyes grew wide and excited. "I wanna see!!"

"Back off!" Mello pushed Matt away from himself. "You're too close to me and SH!"

"Screw you Mells. I wanna see what happens too!"

"It's gone."

"He drank it all?!"


"Now what?"

"We sit and wait to see if it takes action."

"Kay..." After a couple minutes Mello straightened away from the door arms crossing over his chest. "Nothing how boring. This was a failed attempt at ridding my boredom Matt."

"Aw go stuff your face with some chocolate and shut up. I'll keep watch."

"Fine. I'll be right back..." Mello pointed a finger threateningly at the gamer, "Don't move unless Roger comes or Near's going to leave his room."

"Yes sir." Matt sighed blowing hair from his face and toying with the goggles around his neck.

"Good boy." The chocolate addict smirked and stalked off to get his precious obsession. Matt clucked his tongue watching as his friend walked off.

'Sometimes I wonder why we're such good friends...' Like a diligent soldier Matt took up his position in front of the door and watched Near through the keyhole. His eyes widened and he backed away a step from the door before the sight drew him back to stare. Toys were being thrown everywhere and Near was scrambling around in a state neither Matt, nor any human being had ever seen, or ever needed to see. The albino's fingers slid through his hair over and over again and he looked anxious. He ran back and forth in the room digging through mountains of neatly organized toys. Homework flew from chucked folders and notebooks. Matt's mouth dropped, 'What is he looking for?'

That's when Near's gaze zeroed in on the door. Matt sweatdropped and took a step back ready to make a break for it. He was too late. Near opened the door right into his face. Matt jumped up and down on the fringe of cussing aloud at the pain in his face. What was with him getting injured so much today? Near grimaced and grabbed Matt's wrist pulling him inside the room. Matt couldn't believe what he heard come out Near's mouth, and could hardly understand any of it as all the words were spoken so fast there was hardly any way to distinguish where one began and the other ended. "Mattyouhavetohelpmefindit! Ican'tfinditanywhereandI'velookedeverywhere! NoamountofdeductionhashelpedmenarrowdownthepossibleplacesitcouldbehidingandsinceyouwerethelastonebesidesmetoseeitIfiguredyouwouldbethebestpersontohelpme!"

((A/N: Translation: "Matt you have to help me find it! I can't find it anywhere and I've looked everywhere! No amount of deduction has helped me narrow down the possible places it could be hiding and since you were the last one besides me to see it I figure you would be the best person to help me!))

Matt had to blink a couple of times, a dumbstruck expression on his face. Near was rocking back and forth from his heels to the balls of his feet and blowing hair from his face again and again, as if he just couldn't sit still. Matt put his hands on the albino's shoulders. "Near... I can't understand you! Slow down!"

Near gave a frustrated look that said "What are you stupid? Can't you understand English?" The toy fanatic took a deep breath and spoke slower. Matt had to admit it looked like it was killing him. " I can't find the bottlecap to the Coke you gave me! I wanted to put it in my drawer of random knickknacks that could be useful in the future, but I can't find it!"

"Ah... I don't know how to help you Near. Sorry." The gamer lied. He took a couple steps backwards his hands in his pockets. He cussed in his head when he felt the bottle cap in his right pocket. He spotted an empty spot on the dresser and dropped it there. "Ah look Near here it is! Right on your dresser!" Near trotted over and picked up the object examining it with a delicate eye.

"Thank you Matt." And then the gamer was hugged, yes, hugged by the most anti-social child in all of Wammy's House. He couldn't help but cringe. Receiving hugs was one thing but from Near? Matt forced a smile and nicely untangled himself from the toy loving boy's arms.

"Uh no problem Near... I uh... gotta go do something. Uh... see you later kay?"

"Yes! We will meet soon again and we can chat more!" Matt just nodded and slammed the door shut behind him as he sprinted towards the room he shared with Mello. Along the way he slammed straight into his evil counterpart.

"Matt what the heck?!" Mello sputtered holding tightly to his precious chocolate bar.

Matt couldn't speak straight, his tongue was tied in knots and his words kept tripping over themselves. "N-Near... hyper... gave... hugged... me... bottle cap... terror! E-everywhere! T-toys flying!"

Mello took a deep breath and counted to ten under his breath in his native tongue German before answering his buddy. "Matt... that made no sense."

Matt hypervenalated for a few more moments before getting up and, grabbing Mello's arm, dragged him back to their room and sat him on the bed. "Near... on caffeine... SCARY SHIZ!"

The blonde's eyebrow rose a good inch or so in question and he took a bite of sweet candy. "Scary?"

"He was running everywhere in his room... tearing it apart."

Mello's lips twitched up into a little smirk. "He tore his room apart?"

"Yes! Looking for a bottle cap! Papers were flying everywhere and toys against the wall. Holy shizniz!"

"So his room is trashed?"

"Yes... but the worst part is..." Matt whimpered, "HE HUGGED ME!"

What was a little smirk on Mello's face stretched from ear to ear and he burst out laughing at his roommate. "He HUGGED YOU!?" Matt bit his lip listening to his friend's snickers and hearty laughs. He thought if anyone would understand his ultimate discomfort Mello would.

"It was creepy!" Matt whined.

"I can't believe he hugged you! I... I can't breathe!"

The gamer plopped down on his mattress and grabbed his gameboy turning it on and dared to mutter just loud enough so his friend could hear, "Next time I'll let him hug you."

And the room went quiet except for the sounds of a tennis ball being thrown and caught off a wall and a gameboy being played.

Plunk. Plunk. Plunk.

Blip. Bloop. Blip-bloop. Bleep!

Plunk. Plunk. ... ... .. .. ..

"... OW!"

Omfg. I'm so sorry for making you wait so long for this cratermaker. I've had you waiting for months and feel so bad. I really hope you enjoyed this and it was worth the wait.

For everyone else: This was cratermaker's plot bunny that she requested I do. I rather enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. I understand Near is OOC but hell, he's hyper and something needed to happen. I do kind of feel bad for Matt... that last "ow" at the end is in fact his because Mello is still a little bored... and it's probably revenge for what Matt said about Near hugging him. Yeah. :-snickers-:

:-waves-: I appreciate all favorites and reviews very much! They make me very happy and inspire me to write more! (Well that is IF you liked it. Heh. :D )