Nine's Nightmare

Author's Note: This sprouted from a conversation with Sara regarding shopping to decorate a house. My mind goes strange places. Pure crack. Really.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Really. Not even anything to decorate with, which is why I was thinking about it.


He'd eaten too many sweets; it was the only explanation. Or maybe something had been off about those chips he and Rose had eaten on Earth Redux. Whatever it was, he would not make that particular mistake again.

All things considered, it hadn't been his worst nightmare ever. No, that title would always belong to the horrible scenes seared into his memory from the Time War. But this was just disturbing.

"Bad dream?" Rose asked nonchalantly, coming into the console room to see him still shaken. She always had been able to read him like an open book.

"Remind me never to combine two pounds of salt water taffy and chips from Earth Redux ever again, won't you?" he asked her, trying to hide the small flinch her voice had caused in him. Too similar...

"Aww, c'mon now, Doctor, if a silly ape could handle it, you can too. Can't have been that bad," Rose replied, grinning. She was mocking him, he knew.

"For your information, it can be that bad."

"C'mon, you can tell me," Rose wheedled when it was clear he wasn't going to elaborate.

"Daleks," he finally said darkly; Rose flinched. "Daleks chasing after me, wearing aprons, screaming 'DOMESTICATE!' in your mother's voice." Rose stared, mouth hanging open in shock. He could see the moment when she realized what he said was the truth. She started laughing. He glowered at her.

It took her nearly five minutes to compose herself. She dead-panned, her tone grave. "I always had wondered about the toilet plunger and the egg beater." She held the expression for only a moment before erupting into another fit of giggles.

"Never again," he grumbled, setting new coordinates. But as Rose wiped the tears of laughter from her cheeks, he couldn't help but smile just the slightest.


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