Disclaimer: Haha, nope. To be completely honest, I wouldn't even want to own half of the series. (You know the chunk I speaketh of.)

Author's Note: JacobxNessie equals my new OTP. Hells yes. (QuilxClaire is a close second, BTW. X3)

Author's Note 2: I made a brief edit. The educated will know where it is. For those of you who don't see it, don't worry about it—I didn't even notice my error until it was pointed out by someone infinitely smarter than me. (Yes, that would be you, Pyth.) Oh well. Enjoy the story!

Warnings: OC!voyer.




Joshua liked to pretend that she was a vampire.

With luxurious copper hair, luminous eyes, and skin that shimmers—nearly opalescent—in any form of light, the secluded vampire blends poorly with the mere mortals around her, but revels silently in her superiority…

It was a childish pastime, he knew that. Probably the result of having watched too much TV when he was little. Or perhaps one too many Anne Rice novels. But lunch was long and lonely and boring during one's first week at a new school, he had no homework to complete, and she was fascinating.

though I do wonder why she's allowed out in daylight, he pondered, stirring his cafeteria glop with a spork. A few possible answers rolled around in his mind, ranging from high SPF sunscreen to questions of her genetics.

From her seat at the kitty-corner table, his subject brushed a shining curl behind an ear and took a delicate sip from her thermos. Then she licked her pearl-pink lips with a smile.

Always the same, Joshua noted absently, wishing he'd brought his journal along. Though that probably would have looked suspicious… and this way he could pretend he was just staring out the windows. Tomato soup, salt packets, and saltine crackers in a purple thermos and lunchbox set…

Too lost in her own thoughts to notice his gaze, the vampire-girl morosely slurped away at her own lunch. During one particularly deep pull from her thermos lid, she accidentally sloshed a bit of soup on her face; frowning, she touched the corner of her mouth with a finger, dabbing away the smallest of scarlet drops. Her chocolate eyes narrowed.

The vampire maiden glowers in displeasure as she scans her human meal, wishing she could feast upon a willing victim instead, Joshua mentally monologued, chewing absentmindedly on his milk straw. As if in silent agreement, the girl stuck her finger in her mouth and began sucking broodingly, muting the smallest of wistful sighs.

A sharp thud of plastic on plastic; Joshua felt his bubble of fantasy pop. Though both surprised and irritated, it didn't take long for him to realize that the sound had come from the table behind him. It also wasn't a shock to hear what had caused the tray to fall in the first place: after all, that particular table belonged to a crowd of dumb jocks.

"Damn, that Nessie's hot," one snarled, whistling appreciatively; Joshua could hear the leer in the older boy's voice. "I'd like to tell her what she can do with that tongue of hers—"

"Dude," another hissed, as if afraid of being overheard. "You know she's already together with that creepy health-care worker of hers. That brown guy that follows her around all the time."

A third gagged on a sandwich. "Isn't that, like, statutory rape or something?"

"Definitely illegal," the second agreed, as the fourth muttered something with a number of profanities in it.

"Whatever," the first snorted, dismissive. "As long as she ain't got AIDS or something, I'd still—"


All four began laughing. Mildly disgusted, Joshua scooted a few inches down the bench, away from their chatter. It helped that he had the whole table to himself. Blocking the seniors' banter through sheer willpower, he returned to the matter at hand.

Speaking of hands…

After having spent a few moments examining her own, the girl—Nessie, he supposed— had finally pulled a silver spoon from her lunch box. For a while she merely twirled it between her long fingers, but soon she had dipped it in her soup and continued where she'd left off. She seemed to find this method of eating more sanitary, less messy.

For some reason, however, that spoiled her good mood.

Or she could be worried, Joshua thought, casting her another sidelong glance. Her table—while almost always as barren as his own—was missing one key player. It was odd; for all of his days observing Nessie, he'd never seen her alone for this long.

"There you are."

Perhaps I spoke too soon.

As if on cue, an impossibly tall young man appeared beside the girl, his dark skin and hair all the darker in the cafeteria's dim light. Running a hand through his spiky locks, he knelt beside Nessie's seat with a sigh.

Maybe not a vampire. Maybe a princess—and he's her retainer.

"Where have you been?" he asked, not unkindly, but with a worried urgency in his voice. Joshua entertained the notion that they'd set up a rendezvous point that his charge had failed to meet him at, due to her need to… uh… Dodge the advances of a number of dishonorable knights, he decided dryly, casting the group behind him a flat glance. (They were now entertaining themselves by making crude bodily noises.)

But if this was anywhere close to the truth, Joshua would never know. For instead of answering her companion, Nessie merely caressed his cheek with her left hand, her right still busily spooning more soup into her mouth.

Her retainer and secret lover, Joshua silently corrected.

The older boy flushed fuchsia. "Nessie!" he choked, clearly uncomfortable. "You're supposed to speak in school. And don't put thoughts like that in my head! If your father were to find them—!"

Her father, the high magician, had cast a spell on all of his servants and underlings so that he would know exactly what they thought and did when he wasn't around! Joshua narrated furiously, his enthusiasm so catching that he began shoveling food into his mouth with vigor. If he were ever to discover his minion's secret tryst with his daughter, certain death would face them both!

"Daddy knows we're engaged, Jake," Nessie breathed, and Joshua—who had never heard her voice before—was so moved by its gentle soprano that he spilt a sporkfull of green beans down his front. Holy crap. "Such thoughts shouldn't—"

"Don't say things like that, either!" With a huge, warm hand, Jake (apparently that was his name) clamped his charge's mouth gently shut, looking horrified. "The goal is to live a normal high school life here! You don't need to let people know that we're… you know… and you don't need to wear the bracelet, either…"

With a voice like that—! I mean, unless she's a Disney princess… Momentarily baffled, Joshua's mind reeled… then he settled on a new scenario. Nessie, the mermaid enchantress, along with her betrothed, have decided to train for the day they become the new rulers of the ocean by spending a year interacting with the people of land. In an attempt to truly understand us, they try their best to blend in... Even still, their passion surpasses all, and she wears the token of his love—a woven bracelet—proudly.

Joshua paused, scratching his chin. Actually, that works pretty well. Nessie being the nickname of the Loch Ness Monster… maybe they're from Scotland? He listened more intently for signs of an accent.

"I don't wear it because I need to," Nessie was retorting monotonously; it sounded to Joshua like she didn't use her voice often, and didn't much like using it now. "I wear it because I choose to."

It was a response that clearly thrilled her companion. As if unable to control his own expressions, Jake's lips morphed into a beam of such delight and joy that it animated his entire face. And his elation seemed to please Nessie in turn, for she offered him a small smile of her own, brushing her hand to his cheek once more.

This time, the older man caught it and held it, feathering his lips against her palm.

For an instant, Joshua felt guilty watching them.

Then the bell rang, and the spell was broken.

"I'll carry your books to your next class," Jake murmured, still kneeling before his… We'll say mistress… using the hand he was grasping to help her to her feet. Nessie, always the lady, curtsied slightly in her forest-green dress, long lace cuffs tickling Jake's nose when he bent his head to kiss her hand one last time.

"Very well," Nessie assented in a half-whisper.

Arm in arm, they made their way from their table to the door, almost seeming to glide over the waxed linoleum floors. And Joshua— in an almost irrepressible desire to keep these majestic creatures in his field of view— toddled swiftly after the pair, pausing only when he'd reached their now-deserted table.

Alone in the world if not for the other, the mistress and her trained 'dog' made their way through the crowded school halls, comfortable in the fact that no one knew their secre— ew…!

Unable to keep from flinching, Joshua quickly pulled back the hand he'd dropped upon the table; it had landed in a small liquid spill he hadn't noticed before. Swallowing a sigh, he began fishing in his pockets for a tissue when he noticed something odd…

I… I don't think this is tomato soup…

Lashes fluttering in a succession of stunned blinks, Joshua turned his wide eyes in the direction of the mysterious pair.

Perhaps he'd give his vampire theory another go.


Would Bella and Edward let their daughter take blood (even animal blood) in a thermos to school for lunch? I doubt it. But it made for a cool fanfic idea, I thought. (Actually, at some point I'd like to write about Edward and Bella at school with Nessie. That would be amusing.)

Now, before anyone asks, Jacob is attending school with Nessie under the guise of being her "personal nurse." That way, he can be with her all of the time and no one questions it. Also, when she has to leave school to hunt or whatnot, she has a good excuse. ("I have to go to the doctor with Jake because I'm sickly.")

Also, in my own mind, they weren't in Forks. But that doesn't really matter.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little fanfic…and I'm interested to hear what people think of older!NessiexJake.

Talk to ya later! :3