Give My Stapler Back by AndromedaMarine
Jealous type? Ha! Not in Rodney's dreams. Well, maybe in his dreams, if they revolved around Sam and a certain Major General, but that was completely beside the point. As Rodney nearly destroyed the lab in search of his trusty stapler, a stack of lonely papers sat, waiting to be bound. By the time Radek waltzed in holding his own stapler the stack of papers was dangerously close to the edge of the table, threatening to fly away to freedom. Most of the room was a mess, only fueled by Rodney's irrational irritation in searching for the stapler. He spotted Radek and the small blue machine, and his eyes bugged out. "You!" he squealed, sounding rather like dying elephant in the process. He marched over to Radek and swiped at the stapler protected by the Czech's arm.
"Excuse me," Radek said, slightly amused at the current state of Rodney's face – it had turned a spectacular shade of red. "What are you doing?"
Rodney swiped at the stapler again. "Give my stapler back," he hissed, glaring at Radek. "You have your own, you nincompoop – why did you have to go and steal mine?"
Radek blinked at Rodney, and then burst into a fit of laughter. Unfortunately the stapler became vulnerable and Rodney made another attempt at it. Radek saw his hand just in time and moved the poor object to safety. "Rodney, this is my stapler. You lent yours out, remember?"
The Canadian's arm froze halfway to the unfortunate little machine and he blinked back. "What?"
Radek tried to keep a straight face so his little joke would go smoothly. "To Dr. Ryan. Do you not remember?" He cracked a grin. "Four hours ago, so he could organize his lab reports. Remember he does not own a laptop, so the stapler proved quite useful."
Rodney lunged for the stapler again. "No I didn't, you simpleton, I left it right next to my papers! You stole it!"
John walked in and tossed a stapler at Rodney. "Hey, buddy, sorry – I needed that really quick. Hope you didn't..." his sentence ended abruptly as he saw Radek fending Rodney off and the lab in a mess. "Whoa...did I miss something?"
"You!" Rodney hissed, changing his aim of attack towards John. "Next time, ask instead of stealing first, or just take Zelenka's!" He snatched the stapler from the mess it had landed in and clutched it to his chest like it was mortally wounded. "Out, before I find something else to yell at you for!"
Radek and John left, smirking at Rodney's panic attack over the stapler. Evan jogged past them, into the lab, snatched the stapler from Rodney's grasp, and sprinted back out, a grin on his face. John and Radek laughed as Rodney yelled, "Hey! Give my stapler back!"