So this is it you guys. This is the end of the line for ATQIDH. This is the last chapter. Sad isn't it? Eh, not that sad, I got major writers block in the middle of it and it slowed down. Yet this is my most successful story so far (measured in number of reviews). But I think I'm going to stick with Spashley stories for now. I've got a couple ideas swimming around in my head, maybe they'll come out in the form of a story one day. Guess you'll just have to wait and see.
It's weird how words can say so much more than just what you say. It's weird how they can have a deeper meaning and make so much more sense. Sometimes they come in great things, like speeches. Sometimes they come in small things like the shortest of sentences. Two words even. Two words can mean a lot. Two words can say a lot. Two words can even say it all. In the midst of a heated argument 'I'm sorry' can change it all, in the midst of a heated moment between lovers 'kiss me' can change it all. Sometimes your two words can sound stupid but make so much sense to you. Just look at Paris Hilton. I now hate the term 'that's hot', but those were her two words. So the question is, what two words will change everything for you? What two words will you remember when it's all over?
"you better get to the gym. Speeches are starting soon" Spencer reminds me.
"just… just one more thing…" I whisper as I put my cards down on the sink and look back over to Spencer.
"what?" she asks, just as confused as she should be.
"this…" I whisper throwing my arms around her neck and pulling her in for that lasting kiss we all long for.
"what was that for?" Spencer whispers and she's so close to me that when she talks and her lips move they barely graze mine.
"I just needed one last thing to get me through this. That was it"
"alright then" she whispers back. "but now you have to go give your speech." She says turning me around in my spot and sending me on my way with a pat on the ass.
I walk over to the door and see her still smiling back at me, waiting for me to leave. I don't know how I'll ever be able to pull away from her again.
This was it… This was the moment.
"thank you Megan for that… interesting speech" Mrs. Cho says to Meg as she sits back down in her seat next to me. I didn't really pay attention to her speech too much. All I heard was clapping and laughing and cheering, which doesn't make me feel any better what so ever.
"up next for the presidential running is… Ashley Davies"
I stand up nervously and step up to the podium, I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. Okay, I can do this… I can do this. Now all I have to do is read my speech…
I left my speech in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to pass out. I look around the audience to see if I can find Spencer but I don't see the blonde anywhere. Oh my god, okay what do I do? Okay, I'm just going to have to B.S. my way through this thing. Oh god, everyone's staring at me. Breathing is now becoming a problem.
"pst." I hear someone whisper. I turn to my left to see Spencer behind the curtains. Oh thank god! She quickly walks over hands me my speech and takes off back behind the curtains. What would I do without her? Probably die of embarrassment.
I look back out into the audience and I see Spencer slip off to the side. Okay, I can do this.
I look down at my cue cards and see Spencer's girl writing. I can do this. All I have to do is read and smile. Read… and smile. Here goes nothing.
"So what does it mean to be president? Does it mean having control of the school? Does it mean being the most popular person in the entire student body? Well to me being president means-" I flip to go to my next cue card, but I'm stopped. And I know now is probably the worst possible moment in my life to stop, but I can't help it.
Shoved in the middle of my cue cards is a slip of paper. A familiar slip of paper. Remember my private book? Yeah well apparently I didn't hide it well enough under my bed because here, sitting in front of me, is the slip of paper I wrote all those years ago. You know, the hold me, kiss me, love me thing. Yeah well, here it is.
And obviously answered by Spencer because her girl writing matches my cue cards. And I don't know what it was about her answers but it changed something. Actually, it changed everything. Written on that slip of paper were my questions, and her answers. Written on that piece of paper was…
Until I can't feel my arms
Until my lips turn numb.
Until my heart stops beating.
I guess she slipped it in there on purpose because when I looked at her in the audience she was staring right back at me, knowing exactly what I was looking at.
"Miss. Davies?" Mrs. Cho asks. I turn my head to her and realize I've been zoned out for like 2 and a half minutes now.
"right… sorry." I apologize quickly. I guess I should get on with my speech. But it's weird. I've suddenly got this feeling. A good feeling. Nothing sexual. But a good feeling. A feeling where I feel… better. And I know it's because of her. I take my cue cards and tear them straight down the middle in front of the audience. The only left in my hands is the note with my questions and answers.
"I don't think I'll need my cue cards anymore" I say into the microphone and get a small chuckle out of the audience. "Now I'm sure my opponent, Megan, has made some excellent points in her speech. Not that I was listening or anything" I say getting another laugh out of the audience and a glare from Meg. "but I think my speech will be a little different. Now I know this is a presidential campaign, but let's just take a step back for a second and… evaluate. We spend about 700 days in high school, out of about 20 or 30 thousand in our entire life. And what is it about high school that stands out so much in our life? Is it the immense amount of stress caused by the homework? The amount of hair we lose when arguing with our teachers? Or is it those embarrassing moments that people seem to remember 10 years later at the high school reunion? Well truth is, it's all of it, and more. We spend more time at this school than we do at home. And it becomes like a second home to us. Our friends become a second family, and we remember it forever. We remember the lame jokes we shared with a friend, or the incredibly hard math test we had last week. We remember it all. But the thing is high school isn't just about doing work or being student body president. High school is where we find ourselves. It's where we make our hardest decisions. And I don't know why adults think that 17 year olds can make decisions that affect the rest of our life, but they do. They assume that we know exactly what we're doing, but we don't. We're just as lost as everyone else. And to the freshman this year, I know you're lost but that feeling doesn't go away. It will always be there. But as you go through the four years you'll come to learn that sometimes it gets easier, and sometimes it doesn't. I wake up every morning and stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself… where exactly… do I fit in? And I draw a complete blank... You guys look up to me and Meg for answers. Answers to questions only you know. And I have no idea where you guys got the idea that we had all the answers, because despite what we both say, we have no idea what the hell we're doing. But for some reason you chose us to look up to. You're asking me to tell you what to do? You need to stop listening to me. And stop listening to Meg. Stop listening to the people telling you what to do, and who to be. Because we're all just as lost as you are. Don't think for a second that we know what we're doing. I am just like you. In every psychological aspect, I am just like you. All I want from high school is that minimal education that will get me through life. All I want is to make friends I can lean on in the future. All I want is to be able to hold my girlfriend's hand when I walk down the hallway. I have dreams just like the rest of you guys. And I'm tired of my dreams being held back by the stereotypes of high school. Why should I let someone else control my life? And let me tell you something, as soon as you let someone else make a decision for you, you take away any and all control you once possessed. So a word of advice… don't let someone else control your life, because when someone else controls your life, it's no longer your life. So next time you're wondering which meal to eat at lunch, or which course to take next year, or what person you should date, you remember that no one else can answer your questions, not me, not Meg, no one… You guys have all the answers."
And that was how I ended my speech. Now I can't exactly tell you how the audience reacted, mostly because I was so fazed by what I had just learned myself. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it all out. And I probably wouldn't have even gotten this far if it weren't for Spencer. After the assembly all the students went back to their classrooms to vote. I, being apart of the running couldn't vote. So instead I hung out in the quad, just by myself, waiting for Spencer to finish voting.
"hey stranger. How was that speech?" a familiar voice asks.
"Mac?" I ask, barely recognizing her as I see her standing in her casual clothes, and on my school property. She gives me a hug and takes a seat beside me at the round picnic table. "what are you doing here?"
"Spencer called me, she said it was the day of your speeches and I thought I'd stop by. Is that alright?"
"no, of course it's alright, I'm glad you're here. I just wish you were here earlier" I tell her.
"oh the speech went that well?" she asks.
"well no, kind of, I'm not sure. At first I lost my cue cards, then Spencer showed up with them, but in the end I didn't end up using them and just kind of winged it. I'm waiting on the results now."
"oh, so it went that well?" she repeats with a smirk, knowing that it went a lot better than I was actually fearing.
"yeah, it did" I say with a small smile. "but I'm glad you're here. You know we used to spend so much time together when we were dating, But I guess it felt forced to me. Now that we're friends it feels easier. Right? I mean we are friends right?"
"yeah I'd say so." She shrugs. "I hate to say it but I know I took you for granted when we were dating. And like you said, there's no pressure now, so it's like now since we're not constantly making out or having sex we actually talk. And in the process of talking, things got easier."
"what's this about sex?" Spencer asks as she approaches and sits down on the other side of me.
"just talking about the past" Mac says with a smile. "don't worry, I'm not trying to steal her… back"
"hey, I didn't steal her!" Spencer defends herself. "when I kissed her I didn't know she had a girlfriend, and you guys were already broken up by the time I made my next move"
"uh yeah, we were broken up because you broke us up" Mac says like its obvious.
"well the point is… it's nice to see you Mac" Spencer says with a genuine smile.
"you too, Spencer" she says with a smile too. Wow, I'm glad they are friends, or else this would probably be awkward.
"so did you vote for me or what?" I ask Spencer jokingly, knowing she must have voted for her own girlfriend.
"well see here's the thing… Meg had a really good speech" Spencer tries to pull off. Yeah right.
"oh, okay" I act along with it. "that's fine, you know, I guess I'll just have to go have sex with one of my other girlfriends. Come on Mac" I say grabbing Mac by the hand and going to stand up.
"okay, okay, joke's over" Spence says pulling us back down, giving me a kiss on the cheek to confirm it all.
"so when do you kids get the results of the election?" Mac asks as if she's older. Pft.
"shouldn't be too long, I handed in my ballot like 10 minutes ago then they just have to count everyone's vote up. I'd get Ashley to give you the speech again, but she decided to wing it on stage" Spencer jokes.
"well I'm sorry, I was a little flustered by someone's little note" I hint.
"Well technically, it was your note. I just filled in some answers" spencer says staring at me.
"am I missing something?" Mac cuts in, but neither of us turn to look at her.
"yes" Spencer and I say at the same time.
"okay…" Mac says, confused by the situation. "well, I'm going to go see if I can find Meg and kick her ass. Be back in a few" Mac says jokingly as she gets up and walks away. At least I think it's jokingly. Well it's not like she's going to find her anyways, it's a pretty big school. Chances are she'll get lost before she can find Megan. But she knew Spencer and I needed time alone.
"so I see you snooped through my private book…" I hint.
"I didn't snoop. You just hid your book very poorly" she says with a small smirk.
"it's called a private book for a reason"
"I know, I'm sorry. But I thought that maybe giving you some answers to your own questions might help you understand why you're doing all of this…"
"what do you mean?" I ask.
"well I mean that when you first started running in this thing it wasn't even your choice. Your friends just entered you because they thought you would be a good candidate. And it seemed like, for the longest time, that that was the only reason you were actually in this thing. But what you failed to see is that you would make a great president. You know people can stand up for themselves and make their own decisions, you remind people that they can do what ever they want. Our school needs a president like you."
And it kind of dawned on me right there. As Spencer stared into my eyes and as I stared back I realized something. Something I knew all along, but never really realized. If that makes any sense at all. But it's like it's been there the entire time. I just didn't notice it.
It had always been Spencer. She was my answer. She had always been my answer. I never knew the question I was asking. But… it didn't really matter. Because she was my answer… and that's all I needed to know.
Just as the bell rang our focus was broken as the students came into the quad for lunch.
"I love you" I grab her attention back to me.
"I love you too" she says giving me a quick kiss on the lips and turning to look for her friends.
"no" I say grabbing her attention again. "I mean I really love you" I say clearly. "I like who I am around you. I like who I've become because of you. I like that in my time of need you're there to help me. I like that you're willing to take the risk of losing your friends just to be able to kiss me in public. I like how what you say can make me give an amazing speech. I like that when I say I love you, you say it back. I like it all. In fact, I love it all."
Before anyone else could say anything I heard a cry of pain from our left.
"that's for everything you've done!" Mac yells as we see Megan on the ground with her hands to her nose. Oh snap. Mac punched her in the nose. "bitch!" she adds for fun and takes off in the opposite direction before she can get punched back. I can always talk to her later.
Before Spencer can say anything about what I said the principal comes on the P.A. system to announce the winners. Damn all these interruptions.
"ladies and gentlemen, the results of the election are as follow. Your school treasurer will be Anna Wilson, your school secretary will be…" but just then my mind did that thing where it zones out. It seems to be happening a lot lately. Instead of listening to the announcement my mind and eyes drifted to my girlfriend sitting in front of me who was still fazed by what I told her. Before I knew it her lips were on mine. And it's like nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that I had lost my best friend, it didn't matter that my now ex-girlfriend had been wrongly outted to her whole school, it didn't even matter that I had no friends. All that mattered was the girl that I was kissing. Just as I was kissing her I felt her pull back and just stare into my eyes. I still wasn't even paying attention to the announcement, but I'm guessing that's why she pulled away.
I felt the eyes of all the students around us going back and forth between me and Meg, and before I could zone back into reality I looked at Spencer as she smiled at me and mouthed two words. Just two words.
Those were the two words. Those were the two words I'm going to remember when it's all over. But more importantly… I'm going to remember who said them.
And that was all she wrote. I guess in a way "the end" were like my final two words. If possible see if you can describe this story in two words. I think that'd make for some interesting reviews. Lol. If you can't do it in two words I accept very long and heartfelt reviews as well. So if you want, leave the love. Thanks for reading as always.