The Apprentance Files:
Bored the First

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Summary: The first of the Apprentance File ONESHOT Series. What happens when it's hot outside and Braig is bored? Well, water's involved, that's for sure. But how'd Dilan, Aeleus, Ienzo, Xehanort, and the resident stick-in-the-mud Even get involved?! "We need to invent something that makes it un-hot." " you mean 'cold'?" "That, too!" Pairings: None (I think...); Suggested/Friendships: Any and All! (ie, Braig/DilanSuggested, Ienzo/AeleusSuggested, etc.)

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Warnings: Possible spoilers mixed in, mild profanity, and hinted shonen-ai. Warnings are subject to change as series proceeds.

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Story Notes: 8-7-08 I don't own KH, FF(insert number here), any sort of anime/manga titles, or Disney, so anything related to them is not mine. I do, however, own my OCs (none of which should be appearing here, but whatever), this storyline, and so on. Please excuse any problems with anyone's characters, as these are indeed the apprentances and NOT their Nobodys, so a few of them might seem more carefree (or something...). This is technically AU, but I'm not labeling it as such because it's not really, since no one knows what happened pre-DTD opening. And if you have any suggestions for any future oneshots, feel free to tell me! I enjoy flames, too--just not the perverted kind. X3

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For those of you who don't know the Somebodys of the apprentances (and/or who DiZ is), please, allow me to clarify:

DiZ: Ansem the Wise

I-Xemnas: Xehanort

II-Xigbar: Braig

III-Xaldin: Dilan

IV-Vexen: Even

V-Lexaeus: Aeleus

VI-Zexion: Ienzo

Their ages change depending on the story, but for this one, I'm thinking they would be something like this:

Ansem the Wise - Mid-40s...ish...maybe. You can ask him if you want, but I sure won't.

Even - 22

Xehanort - 18

Braig - 19

Dilan - 16

Aeleus - 15

Ienzo - 8

The ages are just what worked without being too out-there. Any problems? Stuff 'em.

Thank you and enjoy the story!

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"Man, this's boring," Braig complained, pouting childishly as he folded his arms over his chest. His best friend, Dilan, rolled his purple eyes, giving a ghusty sigh.

"And what do you expect me to do about this?" he asked his older friend rhetorically. Braig stayed silent for a few moments, then shrugged, sitting up from his position laying on the ground. His long black ponytail flipped around his body so it was resting across his chest, so he threw it over his shoulder childishly, looking at Dilan with two orbs of gentle gold.

"Dunno. Make it not-boring?"

Again Dilan rolled his slightly luminescent purple eyes, running a hand through his dreadlocks absently. He was leaning against the wall of Master Ansem's castle with Braig sprawled out before him, both having been staring at the sky blankly moments before.

"It's too hot," Dilan decided, completely ignoring Braig's rather stupid statement.

"And that's why it's boring!" Braig exclaimed, lunging to his feet. He quite nearly stumbled over the hem of his white lab coat, which was opened to reveal the white tank top that was falling loosely around his thin chest and the simple blue jeans that were tucked into chunky black military boots. To say Braig's sense of fashion was "lacking" would be the understatement of the year. "We need to invent something that makes it un-hot."

Dilan, having not moved from his spot on the ground, craned his neck slightly and squinted in the harsh light as he attempted to make out Braig's face. " you mean 'cold'?"

"That, too!"

"There is this little thing called 'air conditioning'," Dilan noted dryly, folding his arms over his chest. While he was a bit more built than his best friend, Dilan was still a bit on the scrawny side, not that you could tell with his lab jacket zipped up before him. "If you hadn't insisted on coming outside--"

"Did you miss Even threatening to kill me?" Braig interupted, grinning despite himself at the thought and looping his hands behind his head. Dilan refused to move, instead making a gwafing sound.

"Braig...he does that every day. Sometimes twice."

"And you think it tramatizes me any less because of that?"


"...fine, don't answer that. But seriously, Dil-man--it's HOT!!"

"No duh," Dilan muttered, vaguely annoyed as he finally climbed to his feet. He brushed off the front of his lab coat, which was now quite rumpled, and folded his arms behind his back as he arched a single, thin black eyebrow. "Didn't I already say that?"

"I know!" Braig suddenly exclaimed, grinning at Dilan as if the younger (by nearly three years) hadn't spoken at all. He punched his fist into his open palm. "Water makes things un-hot!"


"Yeah, whatever."

"Water, though," Dilan muttered thoughtfully. Silence envoloped the two and Dilan gave Braig a mischeivious smirk. "...are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Braig merely snickered and nodded in response before the two darted off to see if they had the supplies they needed.

This was going to be interesting...

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Braig, now dressed in faded army pants and a black T-shirt that stood out starkly in the light-colored hallways of Master Ansem's castle, crept carefully along the hall that lead to the labs. He had a large backpack slung over his shoulders and, if you listened carefully to it, you would hear water slooshing inside of something.

"Dil-man!" he called in a stage-whisper. A moment passed before Braig blinked, dropping out of his dramatic spying crouch as he put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Huh. Where'd he go? He said we'd start when we were both..."

Something whammed into the back of Braig's head and he was completely drenched, sputtering as he shoved locks of sopping raven hair out of his face. He whirled around just in time to hear Dilan's mischeivious laugh and a flash of dark blue before he scowled playfully, cupping a hand around his mouth.

"Dilaaaaaaaaannn!! You cheeter!!"

Slowly, Braig reached into his bag as he crept towards the corner Dilan had disappeared behind, pulling from the backpack...

...a neon pink water balloon that was hardly small enough for him to fit both hands around. And let it be noted that Braig had big hands.

"Come out, Dil-man," he muttered, smirking a bit as he readied the water balloon. He paused a moment and listened for the telltale sound of Dilan's squeeky gym shoes before he whirled around the corner and threw the water balloon as hard as he could, laughing insanely when it hit Dilan square in the face.

"Graaaah, Braig!" he called out, coughing and shoving the water and soaked dreadlocks from his face. Braig merely continued to laugh as he readied another water balloon, lobbing it so that it would hit...!

Dilan's eyebrow twitched as he recovered, noting that the water balloon had bursted just below his belly button and created the overall effect that--

"Dilan pissed his pants," Braig laughed, clutching his sides as he doubled over and tears of mirth ran down his face. Dilan, water dripping off of his body in droves, scowled and readied one of his own water balloons, which were neon green over neon pink, and readied it. He reared back like a baseball pitcher and let it fly, Braig glancing up just in time to notice it coming. He ducked with a quiet, "Whoops!", then straightened up with a superior look on his face as the water balloon broke behind him. "Ha! You missed!"

Something about the slightly horrified expression on Dilan's face gave him pause and he slowly turned around, paling conciderably when he saw what--or rather, who--the wayward water balloon hit.

"Oh, uh...hi, Aeleus." Braig gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his head as the large man dripped water, his expansive chest soaked all the way through. Brown-green eyes were staring with an unreadable expression, shifting between the two other apprentances. "Er...sorry for ducking?"

Aeleus stayed silent for a few moments, then slowly reached up, running a hand through his short-cropped, bark-brown hair. Then, he abruptly and almost randomly smiled.

"...can I join?" he asked rather childishly. Braig and Dilan exchanged looks, both blinking innocently, before they gave nearly identical grins and turned back to him, both nodding.

"On one condition," Dilan offered, grabbing his own backpack as Braig retreated to his side. Dilan tossed his backpack and Aeleus caught it at the last moment, somehow managing to keep the balloons inside from breaking and leaving him without amo.

"We're a team!" Braig announced with a laugh, looping his arm around Dilan's shoulder. The younger seemed resigned to this position and merely rolled his eyes.

"Braig, we should start running."


And the two were off before Aeleus could object.

"Aeleus?" a voice asked quietly. Aeleus glanced over his shoulder and smiled a fraction when he caught sight of the innocent-looking, silver-blue-haired boy behind him, who was going to be turning nine in a few months. Ienzo frowned in mild confusion and gazed curiously at his silent friend. "...what're you guys doing?"

"We're having a water balloon fight," Aeleus offered softly. "Do you want to join?"

Ienzo blinked, brows knitting together cutely as he pouted a bit in thought. "Water balloon fight? ...ummm...are there any rules?"

"You just throw the balloons and try and hit someone on the other team. Avoid any sort of injuries."

"...really?" Ienzo asked, confused. Aeleus chuckled softly and nodded, causing Ienzo to give a hesitant half-smile. "Can I be on your team?"

"Sure," Aeleus agreed, nodding. He reached into the bag he had been chucked and handed a smaller water balloon over to Ienzo, who grabbed it. "We're trying to hit Braig and Dilan. Okay?"

Ienzo's smile widened and he nodded enthusiastically. "Got it!"

And with that, the two were off, the most miss-matched team you could ever imagine...well, in that castle during that period of time, at least. But anyway, back to the water balloon fight.

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"Where'd he go?" Braig asked in a stage whisper, glancing curiously at his fellow ravenette as they glanced around the corner of a hallway, half-hidden behind a rather large tropical plant. Dilan shrugged absently, holding three water balloons in the crook of his arm.

"Don't know," he answered quietly, "but stop talking before you give away our position!"

No sooner or later than when the words left his mouth did someone tap their shoulders, causing both to turn around. They were immidiately met with two facefulls of water and what was undoubtedly Ienzo trying not to laugh at their expressions.

"Hey, I didn't know the squirt was playing!" Braig complained, shoving the sopping mess that was his hair from his eyes and pouting childishly. "I call cheetsies!"

"I'm not a squirt," Ienzo immidiately objected, frowning self-consciously. Braig found himself grinning despite himself, shaking his head.

"Naaaah, you're not. But compared to me ya are."

"You threw a bunch of water balloons at me and then decided that you two were going to be a team, so it's perfectly fair," Aeleus reasoned, smothering a smile of his own. Ienzo nodded his agreement.

"Besides, you guys would make up some excuse not to let me join because I was too young or something," the silverette added.

"Okay then, fine," Dilan said with a serious nod. He straightened up to his full height and held out his hand towards Braig, who wordlessly put a pink water balloon into it. Dilan smirked and wound up. "I suggest you two run."

They were already bolting, just barely dodging a water balloon that splashed the wall with enough force to get Ienzo's hair wet as the child squeeked in surprise. Braig and Dilan were lobbing water balloons after them non-stop, completely soaking the other team's backs as they raced around a corner.

Too bad Ienzo and Aeleus had ducked close to the wall and didn't get a chance to warn Dilan and Braig about who was walking towards them.

The water balloon exploded.

Water gushed everywhere.

Silence fell over the group.

And Even's eyebrow twitched as he looked up from the surprisingly dry notes he was reviewing, Xehanort (who was on his right) lifting a hand in an attempt to hide his grin and stiffle his snickers. Unsuccessfully, of course.

"Braig, Dilan," Even ground out from between clenched teeth, his hands shaking as he gripped the papers in his hands. Aeleus and Ienzo slowly inched closer to the two in a rescue attempt should Even explode. "What do you two think you are doing?!"

"Er...we're having a water balloon fight with Iz and Aels?" Braig offered with a rather weak laugh, rubbing the back of his head nervously. Even's faded, icy-green eyes narrowed dangerously, a few strands of dirty blonde hair falling out of his messy ponytail and sticking to his soaking wet face.

"And why are you doing this inside of the halls rather than outside where it is not actually air conditioned?!"

"Probably because it's not air conditioned, knowing their logic," Xehanort offered helpfully, managing to stop his snickers, but continuing to grin. Braig pouted at him and Dilan gave him a look, but Xehanort ignored them both, reddish-gold gaze darting between the combatants of this little war. He was obviously curious as to what would happen next, not that anyone could blame him. Heck, the authoress's getting curious as to what's going to happen now! How about you readers? Yes?

Then it's time to go to a comertial break with our sponsers!

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Saïx: -deadpan- What sponsers? You're doing this in your spare time for no apparent reason.

MKL: -pouts- You're so mean. I'm trying to build up suspense.

Saïx: I doubt it's working. Get back to the story.

MKL: Meanie. Fine then, you ARE the weakest link! Goodbye! -Saïx falls through trapdoor in floor into hole of rabid, screaming fangirls-

Axel: O.o; Wow...harsh. Got it memorized?

MKL: -ignoring Saïx's screams for help- Well, time to end this pointless little commentary. I've never interupted a story for one before and was curious as to what it was like, but alas--it's not as fun as I'd hoped. Talk to you at the end of the story! Later!

Saïx: -screams in horror- No, I am not an elf, nor will I howl at the moon! Get away! Back, I say! Back!

Axel: ...shoot...hope I never get to be your favorite.

MKL: Too late. It's your turn with Saïx...ehem...MIA.

Saïx: -continuing to scream- Leave me alooooooone!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Axel: -whimpers- I'm scared.

MKL: As you should be, Axel, dear. As you should be.

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And we're back! Are you annoyed yet? Good. Maybe now I'll get some reviews. Hehehe.

Xehanort was obviously curious as to what would happen next. He tucked a strand of white hair behind his ear and glanced between the people in the hallway, still grinning openly.

"Xehanort," Even managed to say without doing much more than narrow his eyes, "will you procure half of their whole water balloon supply."

Amused and seeing where this was going even as the others stared in mild confusion, Xehanort nodded and walked forward, holding out his hand. Aeleus wordlessly gave him the bag that was originally Dilan's and Xehanort handed it back to Even before retreating. Even nodded his thanks, still glaring at those before him, then slowly withdrew a water balloon.

"I suggest you all run now."

Finally realizing Even's plan, Braig and Dilan bolted, Aeleus and Ienzo not far behind. Even handed Xehanort a few water balloons, nodding, and Xehanort merely grinned as the two raced off after the others, their notes falling to the floor, forgotten.

Laughter and curses ran rapid along with the group as the war began.

And the notes that had seemed so important moments ago floated away on a sudden, unexplained breeze...

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In the end, it was decided that Even and Xehanort were the winners, Xehanort somehow managing to stay dry with the exception of his legs and feet. Braig and Dilan had retreated to the front yard again, Dilan once more leaning against the wall and Braig laying down on the grass with his hands behind his head like a pillow. Both were still mildly damp, but despite that, Braig had a slight grin on his face.

"Man, today was pretty sweet," Braig snickered, closing his eyes contently.

"Mmmm," Dilan hummed in agreement, staring up at the stars that were slowly beginning to dot the sky. " do know this isn't going to last."

"Eh?" Braig cracked open an eye and stared quizzically at Dilan. "What isn't going to last?"

Dilan shifted a fraction, gaze still trained on the sky. "Everyone being together. Days like this, where we can forsake work and do nothing productive. Just...everything."

"Oh, I know that," Braig snorted, rolling his eyes as he closed the one he had cracked open. "Geesh, man--ya think I don't? As if! But the difference between you and me--"

"You and I," Dilan automatically corrected. Braig ignored that and went on, smiling slightly.

"The difference between you and me is that I don't spoil the moment by spurting out nonsense like that. Just go with the flow, Dil-man. Everyone should know things like this don't last, but that's what's fun about it! Cherish every moment, y'know? It makes life that much sweeter."

A few moments passed in silence as Dilan stared blankly at Braig, but then a slight smile tugged at his lips and he nodded, returning his gaze to the stars above.

"Of course," he muttered softly, tracing out a constilation. "You're right."

"Aren't I always?" Braig asked with a snicker.

His only response was Dilan tossing his last water balloon, hidden moments before behind his back, into the elder's face.

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STARTED: 8-7-08 (afternoon)
FINISHED: 8-7-08 (night)

MKL: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! Wow, I had a lot of fun with that! Did you guys all enjoy it?

Axel: I sure did...except for that whole little comercial thing. That kinda freaked me out. -pauses- Hey...where's Saïx?

MKL: -blinks languidly- Err...still in the pit?


MKL: -grins with cute chibi face and long white angel wings and halo- Ummm...maybe?

Saïx: -pulling self out of hole in ground, clothes torn dangerously and hair greatly disheiveled- -wild eyed- Air...need...non-fangirl...air...!

Axel: ...daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn...

MKL: -angel wings turn into devil ones and sprouts horns as halo falls off head- Hehehe.

Saïx: -collapses once free of hole and falls unconscious-

Demyx: -pokes Saïx with a randomly found stick- he dead?

Saïx: GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRR...

Demyx: EEP! -runs away-

MKL: -back to normal- I'd take that as a "no".

Axel: Er...okay, now I'm really scared. Seriously this time.

MKL: Anypie, time for the serious announcements! -grins brightly- Soooo, this is gunna be a whole little mini-series that really won't be connected and is going to be jumping around in the time stream. The only constant is that everyone's going to be pre-Nobodyfied.

Axel: -deadpan- You just made that word up.

MKL: Well, duh.

Axel: -.-;

MKL: -gives Axel weird look- Ignoring him...ehem! I am open to any and all suggestions! That's right, readers--tell me of a situation you want the apprentances in and I'll make it happen! It'll be a ONESHOT story dedicated to you and put up as the next one in the series. The only thing I really need to know is someone's approximate age so I can fix it for the rest (or you could do the math for the others yourself--either way). Other than that, you can give me as much or as little information as you want. Everyone got that?
Zexion: -popping up out of nowhere- EHEM.

MKL: -blinks slowly, then lightbulb goes off above head- Oh, right! -smiles- Just so that everyone knows, I am willing to put in the Somebodys of other people in the series! I do, however, have choice over their Somebody names, since I already have them planned out and I would be totally confused otherwise. The complete list of names will be put at the bottom of this little note, which is actually getting...not-so-little. Now Axel will tell you some of the ideas me and my friends have already come up with! Axel?

Axel: I have to?

MKL: -arches eyebrow- Do YOU want to be the weakest link too, Axel?

Axel: -pales-

Saïx: -still unconscious-' it...give the...banana...back to...the...stupid...Moogle...

Axel: Er, no. I think I'll tell the readers what else you've thought up.

MKL: -grins- Good.

Axel: Ehem. So the ideas so far: Ienzo's nineth birthday. Aeleus cooking with only Braig for help. -blinks slowly- Er...something about Xehanort...and Saïx's Somebody...and whipped cream?

MKL: -laughs nervously and plucks away note in Axel's hand- Eheheh...oops. That one's a full-fledged story idea I, er, "tossed out" earlier today.

Saïx: -gurgles in sleep-

Xehanort (on the other side of MKL's universe): -twitches and sneezes in sleep-

Axel: -arches eyebrow- ...riiiight...anyway. -turns back to notes in hand- Xehanort meeting Saïx's Somebody in the square and having an interesting conversation. Ienzo's first day at the castle. Dilan...going...parasailing?

MKL: NO! Grrr, give me that. -rips note out of Axel's hands- "The group going on a trip to the beach that ends with Dilan getting into a parasailing ACCIDENT." Duh!

Axel: Morbid. Poor guy.

MKL: -shrugs- I'm doing serious installments, too. Wanted to start it out fun, though, so that people realize I'm going to have a good mix of both.

Zexion: Perhaps we should move on to the questions, such as: Why is my Somebody so...innocent?

MKL: Well, he's eight, Zexi-kun. Even you were innocent at some point.

Zexion: -eyebrow twitches-

Axel: -falls over laughing-

MKL: X3 Hehe. But yeah, I think that's it. Any more questions will be adressed in the next story, 'kay, everyone? -smiles- 'Till next time, review with your thoughts and ideas! Later!

Zexion: -eyebrow still twitching- ...until next time...

Axel: -still laughing-

Saïx: -still unconscious-

Xemnas: -shaking head at people in room- -mutters- I really need a new job...

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The Complete List of Names Of The Somebodys Of The Nobodys (plus DiZ):

DiZ: Ansem the Wise

I-Xemnas: Xehanort

II-Xigbar: Braig

III-Xaldin: Dilan

IV-Vexen: Even

V-Lexaeus: Aeleus

VI-Zexion: Ienzo

VII-Saïx: Sïa (pronounced "See-ah")

VIII-Axel: Lae (pronounced "Lie")

IX-Demyx: Dyme (pronounced "Dime")

X-Luxord: Lorud (pronounced "Lore-'Uh'ed")

XI-Marluxia: Lumaira (pronounced "Loom-Eye-Rah")

XII-Larxene: Elenra (prounounced "Elaine'Rah")

XIII-Roxas: Sora

Naminé: Kairi