(A/N: Yeah, yeah, I don't own Trinity Blood. I don't own the Wizard of Oz. I don't own anything else in here except for the fact that I put it all together
For those of you with Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.)
All Dorothy knew was that when that tornado swept her house away, it certainly didn't drop it in Kansas. She was surrounded by a mob of Munchkins who were apparently down with making her queen. And for what? Because her stupid house landed on some hideous witch-woman!
"Ding dong, the witch is dead!" They were moving in, like circling sharks to blood.
"I didn't have anything to do with this, OK? It was not my idea!"
"But you killed the-"
"Please! Just go away, I'm not a queen," Dorothy pleaded, eyes wide with fear.
"That's because I'm the queen." A young woman with long crimson hair and sapphire eyes appeared in front of Dorothy with an angry-sounding crack.
"Thank you! Please, make them go away!"
"I can't make them do anything, unfortunately. They get on my nerves, too," the woman replied, rolling her eyes and pushing the forehead of the nearest, determined Munchkin.
"Oh, yes. I'm Esther, the Good-But-Irritated Queen. What do you need?"
"Um, I need to get back home to Kansas." Dorothy looked hopeful. Maybe Queen Esther had the answer!
Not so. "Where's Kansas?" Esther asked. "Is that in Albion?"
"Um, no, I don't think so."
"Well, I don't know. I'd love to help, but I'm really, really busy. Not to mention these guys."
Dorothy hung her head dejectedly. Esther's face softened.
"I really would help you if I could. How about this? Go find the Wizard of Oz. Maybe he'll know something."
Dorothy looked up. "Where is he?"
"Oh. I'd say the Empire City. That's where all the bigwigs are, anyway." She pushed another Munchkin away. "If I were you, I'd get out of here. They may look cute, but then again, so do men. Then they turn on you."
Dorothy groaned. "Thanks for cheering me up," she said sardonically.
Esther flared at once. "What?! I helped you, didn't I?! You think that wasn't good enough?"
"N-no! I'm just-"
Esther took a deep breath, triggering the 'look helpless' response from Dorothy. Esther sighed and ran her hand through her hair.
"Sorry. It's hard being a queen, you know?" Dorothy nodded. Anything to keep her happy.
"I'll distract them; you run like a Methuselah's haste." What? Dorothy thought.
"GO!" Esther shouted. As Dorothy escaped, the red-haired queen sighed again and began her climb up the remains of Dorothy's house. Once there, she tried to get their attention.
"Hey, Munchkins!" she yelled.
In what was surely an eerie coincidence, every little person in the vicinity turned their head in a Linda Blair-like movement.
"That's creepy," Esther muttered. Then, in a brighter tone of voice, she called out, "All Munchkins who want a signed photograph of the new queen, step right up!"
With a collective "Ding dong, the witch is dead!", each Munchkin began pressing his or her way to the old house, rapidly creating a riot of squeaking midgets and a distraction for Dorothy.
"Well, my job is done," said a relieved Esther. Before she disappeared again, she could see the vague outline of a Munchkin, rope in hand, steadily waddling his way to a group of trees.
Anything for fame, Esther thought.
Dorothy decided that she should follow the only road in sight, which was paved with colorless cobblestones. After all, it was between being the hero of a town of midgets for the rest of her life or getting out. It was hardly a difficult decision. She quickly glanced around for an opening in the crowd of over-obsessive Munchkins and made a break for it.
With Toto in her arms, she ran until she could turn around and see a midget-free landscape. Sighing with relief, she slowed to a casual walk and gazed at her surroundings. Something in the colors seemed slightly off, as though she was looking at them from someone else's point of view. That's silly, she thought. I'm probably just tired from being in Munchkinland. As she caught her breath, she also caught sight of a strangely dressed, tall, pale man tied by his arms to the fence beside the path. Well, at least he's tall, she thought dryly. She strode up to him and set Toto down carefully
The man gave no response.
She waved her hand in front of his face, hoping to catch his attention. He blinked and turned around only to jump back in surprise.
"Hello!" he said brightly. "Are you new here, too?"
"I think so. I mean, I'm not really sure. A tornado picked up my house and brought me here. What about you?"
The man had begun humming to himself while she talked. Dorothy bit her lip and asked again.
"How did you get here?"
He stopped humming and said cheerfully, "I really don't know. I've always been here, haven't I?" He paused and furrowed his brow. "I mean, I think so." Suddenly, he noticed Toto on the cobblestones below him. The little black dog was doing his best to rip his the man's long black robes.
"Hey! Down, boy! Down!" He frantically danced around Toto while trying not to step on him. Toto barked.
"Hush, Toto." Dorothy picked him up and held his mouth shut with her hand. "I'm Dorothy." She held out her hand, forgetting that the man's arms were tied to the fence.
"And I'm Abel Nightroad. Pleased to meet you. But not your dog." Toto growled through his teeth at Abel, who growled back. Dorothy sighed. Why do I have to deal with the idiots today?
"Mr. Nightroad, do you know where I could find the Wizard of Oz? Esther the Good-but-Irritated Queen told me that if I find him, maybe he can help me get back home."
Abel shrugged as much as he could. "I'd tell you, but…"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you because I don't have a liver."
Dorothy wrinkled her brow. "That can't be right."
He thought for a minute. "OH! I meant a brain. Yes, I don't have a brain, and that is why I cannot tell you." He nodded assuredly as Dorothy giggled.
"Well, if you want to come with me, maybe you can find a liv- …brain."
Abel grinned like a child and leapt forward, only to be held back by the baling twine around his arms.
"Here, let me help you." Dorothy produced a very sharp pair of gardening clippers from her dress and began cutting the twine.
"Hey, where'd you get those?" Abel asked curiously.
"Munchkinland. I was afraid I'd have to, well… improperly use them, if you know what I mean." She continued clipping.
"Oh, no! You would use them for that?" Abel said, eyes wide with horror.
"If worse came to worst, yes."
"Wow," Abel said, awestruck. "I never thought anybody would use gardening clippers to cut coupons!"
Dorothy stared at Abel, who showed off his childlike smile once again, and sighed.
"Come on, Mr. Nightroad. Let's find you a brain."
Do I qualify for a single room in the loony bin now? I hope someone likes it. I enjoyed writing it, even though it takes quite a bit of caffeine to write this. Please review and tell me what you think.