I'm back! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter done. Busy with school. But hey, here it is!
A Sword and a Scoundrel
Outside, it poured heavily. Lightning shot across the sky and thunder sounded. Zelda burst out of Telma's Bar and ran towards the castle. Shad and Ashlei followed her. Zelda weaved in and out of the few people still on the streets. Soon enough she arrived at the castle. She startled the guards as she blew past them. They looked at each other, confused, shrugged their shoulders, and decided not to worry about it.
"Princess, slow down!" Shad demanded as he and Ashlei chased her throughout the castle. Eventually she arrived at Link's room. The door was open, the room empty.
"Siegfried," She thought, "He'll now where Link is." Frantically she head to Siegfried's room. Once she had arrived, rather than knocking on the door, she just barged right in. She tried to catch her breath. Shad, upon reaching the top of the steps that led to the hallway which Siegfried's room was in, sunk against the wall and did the same. Ashlei decided to wait by the door.
Siegfried was fast asleep, snoring heavily, mumbling something to himself.
"You've got nice eyes, too, Midna." He said.
Zelda shook him. "Siegfried! Wake up!"
"What was that, Midna?"
"Siegfried!" Zelda shook him again. "It's me, Zelda. Wake up!"
"You want me to kiss you?"
"No, Siegfried, it's me, Zelda!"
He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Seeing Zelda leaning over him he said, "Hello. What brings you up her, Princess?"
"Siegfried, where's Link?"
"He's in Midna's room. Why?"
Zelda paused for a moment and thought, "Does every man in the castle have the hots for her?" She shook her head and said, "No time to explain." She yanked him out of the bed by his arm. "Come on!"
"…And did you know Siegfried's mother was from Germania?" Midna asked Link. He shook his head no. "She insisted he have a Germanian name. That's why he's named Siegfried instead of something Hylian."
At that moment Zelda burst into the room. She was soaking wet, her hair and dress a mess. She was breathing heavily. Siegfried, Shad and Ashlei were behind her.
Link stood up. "Princess, is something wrong?"
"Hyrule…has been invaded." She panted
"Yes," Shad added, "And we have to act now. The fate of the world is at sake."
Link hesitated. Midna stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked at her, then at the others.
"Link," Shad said again, "The world as we know it will be annihilated if we don't act now!"
"If the evil is truly that great, I will need the Master Sword."
"Why?" Siegfried asked.
"Because… er, uh… look, it's a long story I'll explain later."
"Let's go then!" Ashlei said impatiently.
Sarkli paced. So an invasion was inevitable. What could he do? He was under Lord Vader's orders to do so now. "Maybe I shouldn't have informed Lord Vader just yet." he thought. He shrugged.
"I guess I'd better contact Benson." Sarkli said to himself. He walked over to his chair and sat down in it. He held down a button on its right arm.
"This is Captain Benson, over."
"It's me, Captain."
"Oh… what do you need, Commander?"
"How's the search going?"
"We've found nothing… wait… I just got word that we might have hostiles to the south. I'll send some squads to investigate."
"Report your findings to me, Benson."
Silence followed. Sarkli swiveled his chair to the left and looked out the command deck at the planet called Earth. "So, this is Earth." He thought aloud. "It's different. It revolves around one star, along with seven other planets and a dwarf planet, yet it's the only inhabitable one. It has no single government. It has empires, republics, monarchies, democracies, and some form of government called communism, and they all seem to be pulling against each other." He leaned forward in his seat. "I will be your undoing."
"Sir, are you talking to yourself?" a random Stormtrooper asked, startling Sarkli.
"Why, uh… no." Sarkli looked up at the Stormtrooper. "Of course not. I was just thinking aloud."
"Um, sir, isn't that the same thing?"
"Aren't you supposed to be in one of the barracks?" Sarkli inquired, irritated.
"Actually, I'm supposed to inform you of a meeting with the other commanders of the ship in the lower command deck."
"You know we have an intercom system, don't you?"
"Uh… no, sir, I don't."
Link, Zelda, Siegfried, Midna, Shad, and Ashlei decided to travel to the Sacred Grove on horseback rather than warp. Midna elaborated as they rode.
"If all six of us warped to the same place at the same time, our sub-atomic particles would split and-"
"In Hylian, please." Ashlei blatantly interjected.
"We'd vaporize ourselves."
"Sounds painful." Link said.
"Very." Shad added in agreement. He sat very uncomfortably on his horse's saddle. He felt as if he would fall off of it any minute. "How much longer do we have until we arrive at the Sacred Grove? I don't recall it taking this long the last time we traversed there."
"A few more minutes." Link answered. "We have to take the long way around."
"Why?" Midna asked.
"The invaders are in the Kokiri Forest-"
"The Kokiri Forest," Shad interrupted, "Is part of the Sacred Grove."
"Oh, well, never mind." A few minutes later they arrived at the Sacred Grove.
"Link," Midna asked, "do you remember how to get to the true Sacred Grove from here?"
"Uh…no. Let's split up into groups." Link thought for a moment. "Alright, I've got it. Shad, you go with Midna, Siegfried will go with Ashlei, and I'll go with Zelda."
"Actually," Siegfried started, "Why don't I go with Midna and Shad go with Ashlei."
"Oh, I get you!" he said sarcastically. "You want to go with Midna so you can-"
With that, Siegfried pummeled him.
"I'm telling you," another random Stormtrooper told his companion, "I saw movement over there." He indicated to a small dirt path in the forest.
"And I'm telling you you've been smoking to many death-sticks." The other Stormtrooper replied. "There's nobody over there. And besides, really you need to kick the habit-"
The other Stormtrooper stood up and pointed again, this time knocking his companion of the log he was sitting on. "There it goes again!"
"Then do something about it!" The other Stormtrooper said, clearly frustrated.
"Fine!" With that he darted of to where he thought he'd seen the movement. He made it about halfway down the path before two puffs of smoke licked up from the trees (Gunshots, apparently.) and he collapsed.
"What the…" The other Stormtrooper approached the body. He bent over and checked it. "What kind of weapon shoots metal-" Then a cutlass went through his back. A black leather boot pushed the body off the cutlass, onto the other.
Sarkli entered the lower command deck. There several officers in various uniforms sat around the table. Stormtroopers stood guard around the various entrances.
"Greetings, gentlemen." He said. The officers nodded
One of the officers, an older man in an olive drab uniform with a weathered face, stood up. "Greetings, Lieutenant." He said, "How's our search going?"
"Nothing so far, Commander Basil." Sarkli replied. "There has been a minor altercation, though. Casualties were light. Approximately five or six Imperials killed and twenty hostiles killed."
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Basil said. The old officer sat back down. He indicated to a chair with an open hand. "You may sit."
Sarkli nodded and sat. Basil signaled to the Stormtroopers in the room. They turned and exited.
An officer in a black uniform and a thick brown mustache asked Sarkli, "So an invasion is inevitable?"
"Yes," he replied. "But the planet is not united-"
"A civil war." An officer in an olive drab uniform with a scar across his left eye commented.
"No, Commander Delsun." Sarkli said. "It has several independent 'Nations.' If we are able to convince some of these to join the Empire, it may make the invasion easier."
"We can use them against the other 'Nations.'" An officer in a tan uniform said.
Sarkli continued to fill in the other commanders on the situation.
Siegfried and Midna stumbled about in the various pathways throughout the grove. After being silent for a very long time, Siegfried spoke.
"So… what was Link doing in your room?"
Midna looked over at him with a smile. "I was just giving him some advice. He had a feeling something was wrong."
"He was right…" The duo continued to search for the Master Sword. Instead they managed to find the Lost City of Atlantis, Carmen Sandiego, and a man hiding in a cave.
"Siegfried, who's that?" Midna asked, indicating to the man in the cave. He wore tan clothing, similar to Middle-Eastern robes and vests, and he had a tan turban. His hair was black and graying. He was sitting on the ground with his back to them.
"I have no idea. Want to find out?"
Midna shrugged. "Might as well. He may know where the Master Sword is." They approached him.
Siegfried spoke. "Sir-"
The man turned around violently. "Silence! I kill you!" He stood up, menacingly brandishing an AK-47 assault rifle. His eyes were bloodshot. He had a massive beard and bushy eyebrows.
Midna raised her hand, and suddenly a black glow formed around the man, and he shot up toward the roof of the cave, dropping his weapon.
"What the…what are you doing, Infidel!?" the man ordered. "Put me down this instant! I kill you!"
"We just want to know who you are-" Midna started.
"-And where the Master Sword is." Siegfried finished.
"Oh…" The man said, crossing his arms. "Why didn't you say so? The Master Sword is down the hill to the left." He jerked his thumb to the left. "Can't miss it."
Siegfried and Midna gave each other inquisitive looks after the man's sudden change of emotion. Then Siegfried nodded. Midna dropped her hand. The man let out a cry and fell to the ground head-first. He landed with a thud. He stood up, wiped himself off, and walked toward the duo with an extended hand.
He shook hands with them, first Siegfried, then Midna, as he spoke. "My name is Osama bin Laden, but you can call me Bin."
"Thanks for the help, Bin." Siegfried said.
"Oh, and if any Americans ask where I am, you don't know."
"Right…" Siegfried and Midna walked out of the cave. Siegfried crossed his arms. "That was odd."
"Sure," Midna said, placing a hand on Siegfried shoulder. "But we found out where the Master Sword is. Let's go tell the others."
As they went to find the others, Siegfried asked Midna, "Midna, how did you do that back there?"
"How did I do what?"
"When you lifted Bin off the ground. How'd you do that?"
She gave him a smile. "That's just something we Twili can do."
Meanwhile Link and Zelda were searching for the Master Sword. Instead they found a clearing, with a small open-air shop. It had a pot full of red potion and a pot full of lantern oil. Also, there were several glass jars on a wooden table. There was no shop keeper, either, just a bird on a post.
Link and Zelda walked by it when a shrill voice squawked, "Thief!" Startled, Link and Zelda looked over to see the bird flying at them. It landed on Link's arm and again squawked, "Thief!" Then bit into Links arm.
"Ouch!" Link began flailing his arm, attempting to get the bird to release its grip. When that didn't work he smacked it with his free hand. The bird flew through the air and hit the back wall of the shop. It them slid down and landed on the floor.
Link rubbed the spot where the bird bit him. "Stupid bird…"
"Hey!" A girl's voice shouted, "Over here!" It was then that Ashlei and Shad appeared from a fork in the path at the edge of the clearing.
"Find anything?" She asked.
"No," Zelda answered. "But Link got attacked by a bird." Shad and Ashlei cackled at this.
"Hey!" Link said. "It's not funny! That hurt!"
Then Siegfried and Midna appeared from a bend in the path behind them.
"Did you find anything?" Link asked.
"Well…" Siegfried started, "We found the Lost City of Atlantis-" Midna elbowed him, cutting him off. "Yes, we did."
"Good." Shad said. "Let's retrieve it."
Later, the- uh, sextet…that's six people, right? The… uh- look, the six protagonists were nearing the true Sacred Grove…
"So," Link said, "A man named Osama-"
"Bin." Midna interjected.
"Okay… A man named Bin told you where the Master Sword was?"
"That's right." Midna said with a smile.
"At first things didn't go that well," Siegfried said. He looked at Midna with a smile. "But Midna changed that." Midna smiled back and shrugged.
"Did I tell you Link was attacked by a bird?" Zelda asked Siegfried and Midna after a few moments of silence.
Siegfried and Midna fell to the ground laughing.
"Was it… the same… bird …the oil salesman owned!?" Midna managed to gasp in-between laughs.
"…Yes." That made the situation all the funnier. Siegfried took a hand to get back up. As he took it another hand put a flintlock pistol in his face. He looked up the arm holding it and saw a rough-looking man with a toothy grin.
"Uh-oh." He said. Then several more men appeared with flintlock pistols, flintlock rifles, and cutlasses.
"Oh, dear!" Shad said in dismay. "Oh, me! Oh, my! Oh, merciful Heavens! Oh, sweet Triforce!"
"What!?" Ashlei said.
"Oh, never mind."
One of the fatter men stepped forward, cutlass drawn. "Ello 'ere, puppet." He said menacingly with a thick English accent. (Actually, the entire mob had an English accent.) He smiled and revealed his rotting teeth.
"What should we do with 'em?" A man with a rifle asked.
"I say we take the loot they have on 'em and cut 'em to ribbons!" One of the taller men exclaimed.
"Or…" A shorter man with a mustache and an eye patch started, looking about the others in the group. "We could ransom them. I'm sure they'll fetch a handsome price." He walked forward, taking Zelda's head by the chin. "Isn't that right, luv?"
A fist caught him in the cheek.
"Keep your filthy hands off of her!" Siegfried shouted. Two members of the mob caught the man by the arms as he sprawled backwards. He brushed them off roughly.
He rubbed his cheek. "You son of a-" He exclaimed, cocking his pistol. He leveled it at Siegfried. "I'm sure we can still fetch a handsome price for five of ye-"
"What's goin' on!?" A voice suddenly demanded. Part of the mob backed away, creating an entrance. A tall, fat man with white mutton chops (That's sideburns for those of you who don't know.) walked in. Although he was aging, he was still very imposing.
The mob re-organized, now with seven people in the center.
"Pintel! Ragetti! Get o'er 'ere!" He ordered. Two men, one of them the fat bearded man with the cutlass, the other a skinny man with a wooden eye, stepped forward. "What the bloomin' devil is goin' on here!?"
"Just tryin' to gather a little bit o' loot, Mr. Gibbs." The fat man answered.
"Yeah, loot." The skinny man nodded his head in agreement.
He smacked the fat man on the side of the head. "Quit foolin' around!" He ordered. "We're supposed to be searchin' for that bloomin' sword! Now, of with ye, go find it!"
"Aye, Mr. Gibbs." A chorus of voices echoed back. With that the mob dispersed.
He turned back around and addressed the others. "My apologies. My name is Joshamee Gibbs, but you can may me Mr. Gibbs, or wate'er else suits ye."
"Sir, did you say a sword?" Shad asked.
"Aye, that I did."
"What is the name of the sword?"
Gibbs assumed a thinking stance and said. "Master Sword or somethin', I recall."
"Why?" Shad asked. "Why are you searching for it?" He was getting at something…
"Jack won't tell me…" Gibbs sighed. Members of the group gave Joshamee and inquiring look. "Ye never heard o' Cap'n Jack Sparrow?" He asked. The group shook their heads no. He tried to start but couldn't. "It may make more since if I explain things. Ye might want to 'ave a seat…"
Over the next half hour, Gibbs told the group about what had transpired over the last couple of years. The Black Pearl, Beckett, Barbossa, Davy Jones, the Kraken, Calypso, he told them the whole story.
"…And that's how we ended up here. With the Black Pearl stolen by Barbossa, the bounder, we had to set sail on a dingy. We eventually went to port elsewhere, and, with Jack's wits, managed to get another ship and crew. Witty fellow, he. But a scoundrel, none the less."
"Incredible…" Shad said.
Link spoke. "Unfortunately, Jack can't have the sword."
"It's Cap'n Jack. And why not?" Gibbs enquired.
Link was pondering whether or not to tell Joshamee Gibbs about what had happened when Zelda tapped on the shoulder. She whispered something in his ear. He nodded his head.
"Why don't you take us to meet Captain Jack, Mr. Gibbs?" Link asked.
"Might as well, I highly doubt the bloomin' sword even exists."
After a short walk, Link, Zelda, Siegfried, Midna, Shad, Ashlei, and Mr. Gibbs arrived in what once was a building. It was now ruble. There stood the mob of people- err, pirates, now that that was established, staring a two stone statues that guarded the entryway to the true Sacred Grove. A man in a black cloak with a brown tricorne hat was screaming obscenities at the statues.
"…Fine then! Don't open the bloody door for me!" He put his back to them.
"Jack!" Gibbs called out, "What're ye doing!?"
Jack signaled for Gibbs. He walked over to him, and Link, Zelda, Siegfried, Midna, Shad, and Ashlei followed.
"Cap'n, what's the matter?" Gibbs asked.
"It's those bloody statues!" Jack said, pointing at them. "They won't- Wait a minute! Who the devil are they!?" Jack asked, indicating to the six people behind Gibbs.
He indicated to each person as he said their name. "This is Link, Zelda, Siegfried, Midna-"
"What the bleedin' heck is that!?" Jack exclaimed, pointing at Midna.
Luckily Midna explained her species to Master Gibbs on the way to meet Jack. "That's Midna, Cap'n. She's a Twili, a person from the Twilight Realm. The Twilight Realm's a…" He shook his head. "Never mind. She's like we people, only she looks different."
Jack twitched. "Oh. My apologies, luv." He placed his hand on his chin, eying Midna from head to toe. Then he smirked "Now that you say that, she is quite the looker."
At this Midna blushed. Zelda rolled her eyes.
"Anyway, do proceed." Jack said.
"This is Shad, and this is Ashlei." Joshamee finished.
"Ello' ere', luv." Jack said, eying Ashlei over. Me name is Captain Jack Sparrow." He said, taking of his hat and bowing.
"Now, you were saying', Cap'n?" Gibbs asked his captain.
"Oh, right. The map we got from those Frenchies led me here, and the sword is beyond that door." He pointed at the two statues. "But those bloody things won't let me in there!"
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "The statues won't let you in?" He said in disbelief. It was now clear that Captain Jack Sparrow was plainly of his rocker.
"Yes!" Jack exclaimed. He looked to the mob of pirates. So did Gibbs. They nodded their heads in agreement. "Ye see, said statues keep asking me if I want to enter the 'Sacred Grove.' I say 'Aye.' They tell me to answer a riddle. I tell them to tell me the riddle. So I think, then I answer it. They tell me it's the right answer, but don't open the bleedin' door."
"Try it again." Link said.
He raised his eyebrow. "What?"
"Try it again."
Jack rolled his eyes and walked over to the middle of the Triforce emblem and stood there. The rivets that ran down the statues glowed blue. The eyes did the same.
"Jack Sparrow," One of the statues said in a booming voice, "Do you wish to enter the true Sacred Grove?"
"Aye, and it's Captain Jack Sparrow!"
"Then you must choose to answer this riddle."
Jack turned to Link, who mouthed to him, "No."
"What?" Jack mouthed back.
"Tell him no."
Jack rolled his eyes and said, "No."
"Very well." The statue boomed. With that the door to the true Sacred Grove rose, and the statues stopped glowing.
Jack's jaw dropped. "You've got to be kiddin' me."
"No." Link said as he, Zelda, Siegfried, Midna, Shad, and Ashlei passed him and went up the stairs into the grove. "That's it."
Jack shook his head. He signaled for the others to stay there, except for Gibbs.
When Jack reached the top of the stairs he parted those already there and beheld what he'd been searching for. There stood a sword in a stone block.
"Not much to look at," Jack said, walking toward it. "But-"
"What are you doing!?" Siegfried exclaimed.
"That's the sword of evil's bane!" Zelda said. "You simply can't walk up and take it!"
"That's what I intend to do, luv." Jack said. "Besides, it wouldn't be the first thing I've stolen."
"Commandeered, Jack. Like the Interceptor." His first mate reminded him.
He turned around and faced his first mate. "Aye, like that." Jack turned back around and walked toward the sword, then turned back around. "But you can't rally commandeer a sword, can you?" Gibbs shrugged.
"But you can't-"
"Usually," Jack started, turning back around (again) and faced the irritating woman. "I would just ignore your warnin' and take the thing, but… after that whole ordeal…" He thought for a moment, and with a flick of his wrist he said, "I'll just go ahead and ignore your warnin' and take the thing." He smiled and nodded.
He turned back around to pick it up but Link was already pulling the sword from the stone. He latched on to it. They pulled it out, then proceeded to have a tog-o-war to reclaim it.
"Let go of it!" Link demanded.
"'Fraid I can't, mate." Jack said. "Nothin's gonna stand between me and eternal life." With this the tug-o-war stopped, and Link, Zelda, Siegfried, Midna, Shad, Ashlei, and Mr. Gibbs gave him inquiring looks.
"You're jokin', right?" Gibbs asked his captain.
"Uh…no, I'm not." Jack replied.
"And just what do ye intend to do with the sword?" Gibbs asked.
"I…don't know yet, but tis' key to findin' the Fountain of Youth." He looked back at Link. "Now, w'ere were we?" He thought and made several faces, then said, "Oh, yes. Now I remember."
With that he punched Link in the cheek, reeling him backwards. Link recovered and returned the favor with a blow to Jacks stomach, then a punch to the cheek. This caused Jack and Link to loose their grips on the sword, sending it flying. It hit the ground and skidded to a halt. Jack and Link looked at the sword, then at each other. Then Jack ran after the sword. But before he could reach it link tackled him, put Jack on his back.
Link covered him and started landing blow after blow to Jack's face. He managed to make a different expression each time he was punched. About the fifth or sixth punch he grabbed Link's arm, and the back of his head, and head-butted him. Link rolled off of Jack. Jack stood up, smiled sarcastically down at Link then turned around and was clothes-lined by Siegfried. Jack picked himself up and faced Siegfried, who swung at him again, but Jack ducked under the blow and kneed his attacker below the belt.
Siegfried grabbed at the pained area and said, "That… was low."
"Aye, it was, mate, it was." Jack nodded in agreement. Then he punched Siegfried and knocked him to the ground. He turned and ran after the sword, but this time a shoe hit him in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground, face-first. He looked up and reached for the sword (It was now only inches from him.) but a foot stepped down on his fingers with a loud crunch. He crossed his eyes, mouth agape in pain. He looked up to see Midna smiling down at him. Then he buried his head in the ground.
Link picked himself up and retrieved the sword, putting it in its sheath. Midna took her foot off of Jack's fingers. He stood up, mouth still agape in pain, and shook his fingers. Midna nodded sarcastically and turned back to follow Link and the rest of the crowd back down the steps.
"Since ye won't give me the sword," Jack Sparrow said, "I'll just have to bargain with ye for it."
Link and the rest of the crowd turned around to see Jack with one arm around Midna's neck, and the other holding a flintlock pistol to her head. Midna didn't look at all afraid, in fact she looked irritated.
"Ye see, I've got a new proposition for ye." Jack said with his famous grin. "Ye give me the sword; I spare the bonny lass's life. Savvy?"
"Or you could let go of me and I'll spare your life." Midna said.
He tightened his grip. "I be the negotiator in the present scenario, luv." Jack said. "And my hostage is not goin to be negotiatin' with her captor, the negotiator, as long as I be negotiator and are negotiatin'. Savvy?"
Needless to say, everyone else was utterly confused.
Jack cocked the pistol. "I'm growin' impatient." He said impatiently. Midna looked to Link, who looked to Siegfried, who looked to Zelda, who looked to Shad, who looked to Gibbs, who looked to Jack. Then Zelda stepped toward the pirate and his captive.
"How about this-"
"Luv, I'm doin' the negotiatin'!"
"Or you could agree to my terms and find yourself much richer than you presently are."
This intrigued the pirate. He raised an eyebrow. "And how's this?"
"You don't know I'm a princess, do you?"
"I do know."
"First, release Midna."
He released her. Midna turned around and slapped Jack, nearly turning his head completely around. He faced her. "I deserved that." She then punched him. "Not so sure if I deserved that." He put his pistol back in his belt.
"Anyway," Zelda said, "I need you and your men to aid my countrymen in defending our country."
Jack crossed his arm and said, "You want me and my men to act as mercenaries and go off and fight in some little war for ye, right?" Jack asked.
"That's right." Zelda confirmed.
"How much money are we talkin' 'bout?" Jack asked.
Zelda smiled. "I'm a princess, Captain Sparrow."
Jack thought for a moment. He looked to Gibbs, who nodded in approval. "Aye, then, we'll do it."
Plz Review! Thanx! =D