Bill stepped into his bathroom after a two-hour interview, sighing gratefully as the door locked shut behind him.
He leaned his head back, finishing his glass of water before placing the cup on the granite counter; staring at his reflection. The make up, the puffy hair, the tight clothes, this wasn't him. But he wanted to be him, to be free.
Disgusted Bill turned away for the glass and stripped quickly; leaving his make up on he stepped into the steaming water.
He simply stood against the wall, not letting himself think of anything but the feel of the water pounding down on him, ridding himself of the day. Just as the water started to run cold Bill stepped out of the large glass cubicle. Not bothering to dry himself Bill was tugging on a pair of jeans when his eyes caught the glass. Buttoning up his pants the young man moved to stand directly in front of the mirror, staring into his reflection's eyes. He could see himself trying to get out, banging on the prison walls that were his body.
The soul is in the blood, it was said, his blood kept him alive so it kept his soul. And if he could get his soul out he could be free. Bill smiled softly glancing at his Freiheit89 tattoo, there's no freedom once I'm 18he thought bitterly I'm just as bound as I was when I was 10. There is no such thing as freedom for me.
He could never truly be himself, he could never say that he was bi, he could never say that sometimes he just wanted his mum to hug him till he burst. He could never be truly free, someone was always watching, always judging, nobody understood, nobody wanted to. He just wanted to get away. Bill smiled wishfully, be free.
His make up was smudged and dribbling down his cheeks, framing the windows into his soul. Bill bent his head, wet hair falling in front of his face as he reached for his make up remover, smoothing away each and every speck of black till his eyes look like Tom's, they looked natural, almost like himself. Bill smiled again before kneeling to retrieve the small bottle nail polish remover. He kept smiling as the cotton stained black, leaving his nails pinkish and smooth. He stared back into the mirror, free of any artificial shit, this was the closest he came to ever being himself. He curled a finger into his hair, it's a pity it was dyed but he couldn't change that now.
Bill gazed sadly into his reflection, the soul is in the blood he thought, his wants to be free.Bill looked into his soul's eyes, to be free…free.
His made his decision-freedom.
Keeping eye contact Bill reached into his make up purse for the small knife that Jost made them carry around for protection, he gripped the handle and pulled it out.
"The soul is in the blood." He whispered as he sliced his wrists carefully, making sure the lines were straight and in the exact same spot on each wrists. So when he pulled his hands together it made one straight red line.
He stared into his soul's eyes, resting his hands on the counter, each producing a fast growing pool of blood, staining his pale skin.
He heard a knock on the door, "Bill, you in there? It's been ages." Tom.
"Yea, Tom. I'm in here." Bill croaked quietly, already weakened by the blood loss.
"Bill? You ok?"
Bill moaned again, "Yea." He tried to stand up straighter, but his weakened wrists slipped in the blood, sloshing his life force into the mirror and as he fell his shaking fingers caught on his empty glass. The crash echoed through the bathroom glass scattering over the tiles. To weak to do anything Bill simply sprawled on the floor gazing at one of his wrists lying near his face and the blood that was creeping closer.
"Bill?! I'm coming in!"
His blood finally reached his skin, sinking into his hair, caressing his cheek softly. Faintly he heard the sound of Tom fighting his way into the bathroom. The next thing Bill saw was his beloved Tomi.
"Oh, God Bill!"
Tom's eyes were wide as he dropped to his knees next to his twin, "Billa? What are you doing?" he gasped, trying to hold back sobs. Tom took hold of Bill's face, blood coloured one cheek, spreading to his temple and into his hair.
There was so much, covering the floor, the counter-too much. He couldn't survive, and the worse part was Tom knew it. He knew that he couldn't do anything to help his twin, he could only watch as his baby brother died in front of him. Not someone else's, his. Tears spilled, unbidden, down his cheek, mixing with Bill's blood under his knees.
A blood soaked hand reached up and weakly smoothed the tears away from his cheeks, spreading blood instead.
"I'm freeing myself," Bill whispered simply, gazing into his twin's eyes, "I'm freeing myself."
Tom nodded, understanding, more tears fell, making swirling patterns in the blood, he sniffed quietly cradling his brother's head in his lap, smoothing his hair down and caressing his cheek, making him as comfortable as possible.
"Wait for me, k?"
Bill frowned, not understanding, "What?"
Tom coughed a bitter laugh, "When we go we go together. Remember I made that promise and I'm keeping it. This isn't what I thought this life would be like." He added softly, "So wait for me."
Bill smiled angelically as his first tear slid down his temple and nodded softly, "I'd wait for you, even if you come in forever."
Tom's smile trembled, "Good, you can show me around the place."
Bill laughed weakly at the joke, "Yea, I'll take care of you, cause I'll be older there."
Tom smiled but bit his lip when Bill's eyes fluttered, knowing that time was almost up. His face crumpled, but he breathed deep and smoothed it out again, biting his lip.
"Love you…" Bill mumbled, looking once more into Tom's teary eyes before his closed softly.
"Love you too." Tom murmured, kissing Bill's forehead before moving his lips to his ear, "see you soon…"
He could feel Bill smile faintly against his cheek.
"See you…soon…" He breathed in Tom's ear.
His chest didn't rise again.
Tom hunched over, clutching Bill's head to his chest tightly, and gave in to the sobs. Kneeling in a pool of his brother's blood, clutching his dead twin he cried.