What the hell

Something's Different Here

They all heaved a sigh. This was getting to be the norm lately. Fighting dozens and dozens of demons and getting covered with the filth that battles often left behind.

Hakkai usually ended up with much less debris as his chi shots were used effectively at a longer range. Gojyo was a little a bit better off because he too used a long range weapon, but often got hit with the backlash of goop flying off the blades as the chain clunked back into place. Goku tended to get the messiest. And frankly did not care in the least. To him it was fun getting into the thick of the fight and bashing heads in, getting covered with the bloody remains was proof of his battle prowess. Sanzo should have been less covered much like Hakkai but some how always seemed to get as splattered as Goku sometimes even more so. Sure his was a long range weapon but that did not help when the enemy threw it's self right on you as it was dying or because he just happened to be near where the messier fights were. He mentally cursed the foolhardy demons that literally threw themselves at him just as they were being hacked, bashed, or blasted.

This attack had happened so quickly and suddenly that it frightened poor little Hakuryu so badly that he blinked into dragon form as they were crossing a small stream. Normally this would not have been a bad thing but as he changed forms the passengers in the back got wrapped up with the luggage causing all to fall into the water in a tangled mess. The loss of clean, dry clothes was the last thing on the minds of the team until the fight was over. The resilient Goku merely splashed around in the stream until the worst of the mess was off. Gojyo angry threw his jacket to the ground, stripped off the shirt underneath, wet it and used it to wipe the worst of the mess off his face and head. Hakkai merely splashed water on his face and hands to remove the demon remains, what little there was of it. Sanzo was livid. He was covered head to toe in the sticky, stinky gore. Cursing loudly he yanked off his robe and balled it up and threw it at Hakkai. Then he grabbed Gojyo shirt cum wash rag and scrubbed the worst of the offal from his head and face. Gojyo at first made a token complainant at the abuse of his outerwear, but when face to barrel with a pissed off Sanzo and gun, wisely snapped his mouth back closed.

"Well hopefully that village that we just passed through will be able to accommodate us." Stated Hakkai.

When they arrived Hakkai was pleased to find out that not only could the inn put them up for the night all in separate rooms, but that they also had wash facilities so they could get their clothes cleaned.

"There is however one problem." He gave a sideways glance at Sanzo. "They will be able to provide some dry clothing for all of us but…" his voice faded off.

"Just spit it out Hakkai." Sanzo growled sourly.

"There are some less then ideal replacements." He picked at an unseen blemish on his sleeve. "Why don't I just hand out what there is once we get to our rooms and get out of the wet things we're wearing."

More than happy to be rid of the offensive attire Goku and Gojyo sprinted up the stairs to claim their rooms. Hakkai followed closely but more sedately and Sanzo brought up the rear, grumbling the whole way about how he was going to kill the next person who crossed his path.

"Just place everything outside the doors and I'll gather them up so I can clean everything then we can leave in the morning."

"We are going'ta get to eat something, right? Sanzo? We are going to eat 'cause I'm starving." Goku whined. "I mean it….I'm really, really, really hungry."

"Yeah! What ever." The less enthusiastic reply came from the other side of Sanzo's door, Followed closely by the slamming of the bathroom door and running water, confirming that Sanzo had retreated to the shower to get fully clean. Similar sounds from the other rooms meant Gojyo and Goku were making use of the facilities as well.

Hakkai was really hoping that the next thing that happened would not have happened at all.

"HAKKAI." Sanzo bellowed. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE IDEA OF THIS?"

Gojyo and Goku nearly smashed into each other when they heard the shout.

Hakkai stood outside of Sanzo's door, wringing his hands. "I'm sorry Sanzo that's all there was."

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME."

"Sorry I'm afraid not." The sound of pottery smashing against the door was the only answer.

"Sanzo aren't you going to eat with us?" Goku asked rather politely.

"NO!"

"Aww come on princess, it can't be that bad." Sanzo fired a shot through the door just missing the twitching kappa. "Hey that was a shitty thing to do. Go ahead and have your PMS fit, I don't give a fuck."

"Now, now Gojyo." Hakkai started with his peacekeepers tone of voice. "Would you like me to bring something from the dining room for you?"

"No I've lost my appetite. Just go and leave me alone." He pinched the bridge of his nose. This whole situation was just horrible. What he really wanted and needed was a good stiff drink.

He paced and grumbled and grumbled and paced then decided to throw caution to the wind. He slowly descended the stairway trying his best to hold his head high and maintain the aloof dignity he constantly wore. He almost lost composure and ran when he noticed that Hakkai was looking directly at him. Thankfully Gojyo had not seen. Small prayers can be answered.

He made his way to a tiny table in the furthermost corner of the bar. One of the overly endowed waiting staff took his order and while walking away kept glancing back at him. It was unnerving. He was beginning to think this might have been a bad idea after all. When his drink arrived he gulped it down and ordered another. That's when the most dreaded yet inevitable thing happened.

"Hey there sweet thing, can I buy you a drink?" Sanzo decided he was not drunk enough to deal with this problem, but shook his head no. The man stormed away.

"Forget about him, he's trash." Said the newest view blocker. "How about you let me buy you a drink?" he also received a negative response.

After the fifth denial Sanzo had finally had enough. When the newest would be drinking and more partner waddled his way over to be the largest blocker of views yet. Sanzo's patience was at its limit.

With the gun drawn and aimed at a point somewhere between the huge man's bulging eyes. "Leave me the fuck alone."

"Holy Christ you're a guy." The large face grew white and he crumbled to the floor.

"Stupid ass motherfucker." Sanzo was feeling a bit drunk. Enough at least to not to have noticed that his travel companions had reached were he was standing, panting heavily.

"Oh my!" murmured Hakkai his face slightly flushed.

"Sanzo? What the hell…." Stammered Goku, eyes wide with shock.

"OH SWEET GODS YES!" shouted Gojyo. "Hey beautiful princess care to have a drink?"

"Yes I want a drink. But not with you, you asswipe." He winced once he had turned around and heard a long wolf whistle from behind him. Without turning around he stuck his middle finger in the air as a defiant salute.

"Damn baby I didn't know you liked kids." Sanzo paused and waited for the rest. "That's one fine looking swing you got there honey."

"Gojyo." Hakkai reprimanded the red head. But the hint of laughter broke through.

"God was that one of your icky pick up lines? No wonder you're still single."

Gojyo grabbed the smaller one in a head lock. "You're gonna die, you perverted water sprite." spouted the struggling Goku.

"I knew this was a bad idea." Sanzo was embarrassed and upset. "I'm going back upstairs."

"Want me to help hold that skirt up so you don't trip and bust that sweet ass?"

"Fuck off." Sanzo literally stomped up the stairs.

"Hey ladies are supposed to glide when they walk not stomp like some farmhand." The bullet whistled past his ear as Sanzo had gotten fed up and fired another round at the outrageous water sprite. "Watch it you bastard, you nearly hit me with that one. I might just take it personal one of these times."

The slamming of the door was the only answer heard. Gojyo waited a few heartbeats before he bounded up the stairs two at a time. He knocked on the door and there was only silence so he grabbed the doorknob and twisted it. It was not locked so he let himself in. "Hey sorry about teasing you like that babe."

"It's bad enough I had to go downstairs dressed like this but then to have to endure your lame ass pick-up lines was the worst."

"But I gotta tell you, seeing you dressed up like that is a massive turn on. You look so freaking HOT." The red headed half breed pressed up against the blond priest. "And it's not like there was that much skirt to lift after all." His hand skimmed up a firm, white thigh. "This thing just about covers you at all."

Sanzo snorted. "Tell me about it. I felt more exposed then if I had gone naked."

"Naked's good." His fingers slid under the hem of the skirt. "I happen to like being the only one who gets to see what's under here." The hand stopped. "Hey you're not wearing anything under there." Gojyo frowned. "You didn't go downstairs like this did you?" he began to rub the semi hard flesh to life.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Sanzo scowled and thrust forward into Gojyo's warm hand. "I think you would have noticed that."

"So the answer is no?"

"What do you think you idiot." Sanzo moved restlessly against Gojyo's body. "Unnn….yeah…more…that's good."

Gojyo picked the squirming blond up and placed him on the bed. "Let me make sure the door's locked we don't want any little surprises." Sanzo nodded and began to take the clothes off. "NO…don't take 'em off." He pleaded. "Leave 'em."

"You're a pig."

"Come on you look great and it's really turning me on." Gojyo swaggered back to the bed. "That school girl dress makes you look down right sexy."

"Stupid perverted kappa."

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