"What is this?"
"What? Oh, that? That would be Aro, Jr."
"Kindly explain to me what could have possibly possessed you to get a goldfish?"
"It's not a goldfish. It's a Black Moor."
"I don't care what it is; I just want to know what it's doing here."
"I had some extra cash on hand and decided, why not?"
"Aro, do you remember the last time you had a pet?"
"Oh, come on, Caius, I was five at the time."
"Nevertheless, when it comes to keeping things alive, your track record isn't exactly stellar."
"You're just jealous."
"…Why would I be jealous?"
"Because I have a fish named after me, and you don't."
"Aro, you know I hate animals. I have no desire to have one named after me."
"Whatever. Try to keep it down, I think Aro, Jr. is sleeping."
"…Aro, did you remember to get water treatment for it?"
"What? Why would I need to treat the water? It's a fish, it's not like it will know the difference between expensive mineral water and plain old tap water."
"Aro, fish can't survive in chlorine. This little guy probably only has a few minutes, maybe half an hour, before the chlorine gets to him and he goes belly up."
"WHAT?! Caius, tell Gianna to hold my calls. I need to save Aro, Jr.!"
"…Wonder how long it'll take him to figure out that the fishbowl came with water treatment."
Several weeks later…
"Who's a cute little fishy? Who's a cute little fishy? You are! Yes you are!"
"Yes you are! Who's Daddy's cute little fishy?"
"You are! Oh, what a
cute little fi-"
"What are you doing?"
"C-Caius! You didn't see anything. What do you want?"
"Aro, have you been cleaning that fishbowl regularly?"
"… It needs to be cleaned?"
"Yes, Aro. In case you haven't noticed, the water is turning green."
"Isn't that how it's supposed to look?"
"No, Aro, that means that the water is unhealthy."
"What? Really?! How do I fix it?!"
"You… clean the bowl, maybe?"
"I know that! I mean how do I go about cleaning the bowl?"
"Pour the water out and rinse out the bowl."
"NOT with the fish still in the bowl!"
"OH, crap! What do I do with Aro, Jr., then?"
"Here, I'll get a cup of water to put it in. Do you still have the water treatment?"
"Good. Where is it?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
"I had it three weeks ago, when I first got the fish. But I don't know where I put it."
"Forget it; I'll just go get more."
"…Oh, there it is! Caius, I found it! … Caius? Cai… Oh, whatever."
Several more weeks later…
"Aro, where are you?"
"Aro? Oh, there you are. Hey, what's wrong?"
"It's Aro, Jr.! (sniff) H-he's… (sob) d-d-dead! Oh, why? Why couldn't it have been me?"
"Oh, great. Look, Aro, fish don't really live that long. I'm sure your fish just got sick or old or something."
"Bullcrap! Black Moors are supposed to live for six to eight years! I couldn't even keep Aro, Jr. alive for six to eight weeks!"
"Aro, I'm sure it's not your fault. Sometimes these things just happen."
"I... I think it is my fault."
"I kind of forgot to feed it."
"That still doesn't mean you killed it. Fish can go a couple of days without food."
"What about a couple of weeks?"
"A couple of… weeks?"
"I didn't mean to! I was going to get more food, but I kept forgetting! Every time I was going to go shopping, something else came up, and by the time I had time to go get food, I would completely forget that I even HAD a fish, let alone that it needed food!"
"You're a dumbass."