Fifty Benefits of Being Old

Note : Do not attempt to do most of this stuff...'cause it's bad...


" Hey, Granny Tsunade ? "

Tsunade looked at Naruto and groaned. " What do you want now ? "

" Is there any benefits of being old ? "

" Uh, sure. Fifty, in fact. "

Naruto hopped onto her desk and grinned. " Could you tell me ? "

-sigh- " Fine. "

Tsunade : Gambling money, eating cheese.
Drinking honey, stealing keys.
Chasing Jiraiya with the bees.
It's cool to be old.

Naruto scratched his head. " Could you tell me more ? "

" Sure. SHIZUNE, GET ME SOME SAKE ! "

Shizune handed Tsunade a bottle of sake. The Hokage grinned. " Okay..."

Tsunade :Kiba scrubbing my back like a fool.
Making kids scream and plunge into the pool.
Punching Neji in the stomach and making him drool.
It's cool to be old.

Shizune raised her hand. " Can I try now ? "

" Whatever. "

Shizune :Sipping beer, smoking pot.
Making sure you don't get caught. Playing lotto tickets you just bought.
Eating chicken that is hot.
Tying ropes into knots.
Squeezing cars into parking lots.
(And annoying Lady Tsunadeee.)

Tsunade huffed. " Thanks a lot, Shizune. "

:D " No problem ! "

Tsunade : Stabbing Shino in the back.
Hurting Choji with a SMACK.
Throwing pudding on the floor.
Hitting Ten Ten with the door. Smelling very old cheesecake.

Getting really, really baked.

Spraying people with the yellow.
Saying f--k you instead of hello.
Throw some fire at a fellow.
It's cool to be old !

Naruto jumped up and down. " More, more ! "

Shizune grinned. " Yeah, more, Lady Tsunade ! "

Tsunade : Killing Gaara with an axe.
Allowing noobs to be taxed.

Smash up puppies by surfboarding.
Filling candy up for hoarding.
Catching fish by massive swording.
It's cool to be old !

Shizune : Going to demolition derbies.
Stomping on those gotdamn Furbies.
Feeling like it's never summer.
(Oh, golly gee, what a bummer.)

Knowing you could count to two.

Trying to make your face blue.

Failing at tying a single shoe.
(What can you do ?)

Poking corpses with three pops !
Getting chased by the cops.
Robbing all the grocery shops.
It's cool to be old !

Tsunade placed her hands on her hips. " Let me say the last ten. "

Tsunade : Gouging Sasuke's eyeballs out.
Infecting his fangirls with gout. Staying as a divorced wife.
Cutting myself with a knife.
Having all my pet snails cloned.
Shooting all the telephones.

Seeing Katsuyu in human clothes.

Spending all my time on things.
Pissing on the diamond rings.
Binging on the onion rings.
It's cool to be old !

Naruto gawked at Tsunade for a few minutes before sweatdropping. " Aren't most of those things illegal, though ? "

" Yeah..."

" Okay ! I'm gonna do 'em ! "

XD " Have fun in Juvie, then ! "

-poof!-

Tsunade grinned as she drank her sake. " I loooove my job. "

End