Chapter 1 of the sequal These are the moments please continue on to that story to review this chapter :)
I cannot believe it has been so long since I have see Nessie. I have talked to her on the phone from time to time when I pass it off to River. She has kept up with my ultimatum for all these years in regards to visiting our son. She doesn't bring the other child she had with Foxworth. She punishes me for my decision, though. When she visits River, she stays with Charlie and I am not aloud to be there. When I pull up the car, River gets out, follows the string, tied from the mailbox to the house and goes inside.
Sometimes Edward will be standing on the porch, glaring at me, silently. Picking my brain, as he knows it drives me crazy. As the years have gone by I have felt more and more uncertain that I made the right choice. River is so strong and his blindness hasn't gotten to him once when it comes to others. He is still as social and friendly in school as any other kid.
I do not know what I would have done without my family here to help me. We live in my father's house with Paul and Rachel as well as their daughter, Penny. She is about seven but she has that whole wise thing going for her and sometimes when she says something I feel as though my father is looking out from her eyes.
Everything changed so much. Misty is almost out of high school and Emily and Sam have a kid. They finally scrapped together enough money to try artificial insemination and had one boy who has managed to terrorize the res since his early years, Jesse. He is a year younger then River but he is so tall like Sam that he looks like he could be 20. Leah's fears of Sam forgetting about Misty once he had his child with Emily went right out the window since—in comparison—Misty is an angel and Sam's favourite. I think it would have drove Emily mad if Misty wasn't Emily's favourite too.
I pull up in the driveway of our house and sit in the truck for a small while. Nessie has been on my mind a lot this past week. I called her phone to arrange the next time she was coming to see River and she still hasn't gotten back to me which has lead me to believe that there is something wrong. I look at my cell phone and see no new messages and I flip my phone open again and sigh. I finally go for it and dial Edward's number. I wait as it rings and I am about to hang up when I hear his voice.
"Jacob," he replies bluntly and waits for me to speak.
"Is Nessie, there?" I ask him and wait for a reply. He isn't replying.
"She has no desire to talk to you. Is this regarding River?" Edward asks.
"I called her about him and she hasn't gotten back to me-."
"Have you thought that it might be because she doesn't want to talk to you? You turned your back on her, what do you expect from her?"
I stay silent, I suppose so, "can you just tell her to call River, please?" I ask.
"Goodbye, Jacob," Edward mumbles and hangs up the phone. I hate him. I get out of the truck and head into the house.
"Hey," I smile seeing Rachel and Penny sitting at the table working out math problems. River is sitting at the kitchen island with a brail book and his ipod on and is completely oblivious to my presence. "Hello, son!" I pluck the earphone from his ear and put it back. He is such a teenager, I shake my head.
"Hey, Dad," he chuckles and fixes the ear phone when I put it back. He is going to be 15 tomorrow. I was expecting that Nessie would visit soon at least. She hasn't missed one birthday.
I take his ipod and turn it down a few notches, "aren't you supposed to have super sonic hearing? You don't need it this loud."
"Did you ever think that I could hear you and was just ignoring you?" River smirks, his eyes aren't focused on anything so sometimes it's hard to tell who he is talking to but usually his smart-assed remarks are geared towards my parenting.
"In that case carry on," I smirk and sit down at the table with Rachel and Penny. I pull the box of Smarties I had in my pocket from lunch and eat a few. "What are you working on?" I ask Penny. I clear my throat and cough a little; working at the dame coalmine has earned me a pretty nasty cough.
"Division," she replies with a sigh, "why can't we just use a calculator?" she asks and I smile at her response. Exactly what my dad had once said when I had complained about school.
"I know, soldier through," I tell her and drop a few Smarties on her work sheet, she smiles at me and pops them in her mouth.
"Jake!" Rachel scolds me for giving Penny candy, "Penny, go brush your teeth and get washed up for dinner," Rachel says, glaring at me. I give Penny a high-five and watch my niece run up the stairs. "Don't give her sweets, Jacob. I am trying to teach her healthy eating habits."
"She is a kid, let her have some candy," I mumble at Rachel's ridiculous over-parenting. "I gave River candy all the time and look at him, he is a bean pole."
"Well Penny is not a bean pole. I don't want her to become a statistic and she is already one of the biggest girls in her class. I'm trying the best I can with packing her a healthy, low-calorie lunch and making sure she is involved in lots of sports. I can already see that she is heading down the same road Dad was on."
"Rachel, lower your voice, she'll hear you." I whisper, "look, she is seven years old and she isn't in any danger of having a stroke."
"She gets his behavior from Paul, he eats big bags or Doritos and nothing happens to him or any of you wolf-boys," Rachel huffed and went to check on dinner.
"Jealous?" I grin and watch her look back at me with a scowl. I hear the phone ring and quickly jump up and grab it. "Hello?" I say desperately wanting it to be Nessie.
"Put River on," she whispered and I hand the phone to River, feeling loads better to just hear her voice.
"River, your mom is on the phone," I tell him and he grabs the phone putting his ipod down.
"Hey Mom," he says with a smile which quickly disappears, "what's wrong?" My head perks up when I hear my son's concern and he leans against the wall and nods. "No I understand, if you can't make it you can't make it," River whispers, he looks disappointed but something else in his face makes me worry. He nods, "Yeah, I understand. Okay, I will… Soon," River listens a while longer. "Love you too," he hangs up the phone.
"What'd she say?" I ask and watch his face for clues.
"She can't make it for my birthday. Something has come up," he replied and went back to his brail book.
"She tell you what came up?" I ask feeling a sickened worry for Nessie. I watch River shake his head 'no' and goes back to the book.
The rest of the night I find myself absorbed by thoughts of Nessie. She is in my mind always but in a longing way. This is different now; I feel my stomach screaming at me to go to her. Something must be wrong. Why would she just not show up to River's birthday? I find it almost to be 2am—three hours before I am supposed to get ready for work—before I find sleep. My dreams, as always, take me back to her.
I am on the beach in La Push. It is a sunny day and I know that it is in years past because the sun has not shown a single day since she left. I look down the beach and I can see Nessie standing there, kicking pebbles with her big, clunky, black boots. Her shredded acid wash American Eagle jeans are hugging her slender legs and that loose white summer tank top is dancing against her body in the wind.
I run to her as fast as I can but my legs are heavy and with each step she slowly turns away and walks off further down the beach. Her slow and steady pace drives me mad as she continues to get further and further away even though I am running with all of my might. I look down at m feet to try and see why they are no longer moving al all but by the time I look back up Nessie is just a speck in the distance. My eyes sting with tears and I look back down at the floor and see Nessie's rosewood locks of hair slashed on the beach, blowing away with each gust of wind.
"Jacob," Nessie whispers.
I wake up and feel my heart thumping and my eyes damp. I get out of bed and glance at the clock. I haven't slept for more then ten minutes. My heart aches and I get up from my bed and go to the window. The moon is full and my arm stretches out to it hopelessly. I yearn for my Nessie and I don't know how much longer I can hold off being away from her.
Nessie, I miss you so much.