So um, here's a House story for a change. It's not my usual field of expertise, but this was an exceptionally lovely plot bunny, and one that could not be ignored. This will probably be my only House story (although I do love to read them) so enjoy it while it lasts.
"Why are you here?" Kutner couldn't believe his anti-everything boss actually came to a hospital function.
"It's like I said before, if some ancient biddy who happens to be loaded wants to rent a hotel so she can say 'thank you for saving my gargoyle of a husband' by boozing us up that's fine with me. Hell it's more than fine it's great. Now if you would excuse me I have a liver to ruin and female coworkers to leer at." With that Dr. Gregory House turned and limped in the direction of the bar.
"I think I'll be staying away from that part of the bar tonight." Thirteen said as she took a sip of her drink.
LATER THAT NIGHT
"Come on guys, am I the only one here with the balls enough to do it?" She asked
"Yes." was the unanimous reply from her three male teammates.
"Fine. I believe that now. Give him to me." Following orders Foreman let go of House's collar and the hammered MD slumped forward onto her shoulder.
"If you don't come back you want us to send a rescue team?" Taub grinned.
"Ha ha." was the last they hear of her that night.
"House. HOUSE." she shook him slightly. "Where is your room."
"On the..." was all that she could understand.
"Fine, you know what, fine." she muttered as she pushed the button for her own floor and the elevator door closed. The doors opened again and she had to reposition her boss and his cane before she could begin the walk of shame down the hall. "I better get some kind of raise for this." She growled as she fumbled with her door key.
"Not on your life." was the first coherent thing House had said all night.
"Amazing. Only you would have job related selective hearing at nearly blotto."
Finally getting the door open she half dragged House to the bed and unceremoniously dumped him on the side closest to the door. Looking at the man passes out on her bed gave her a wicked idea. An idea devious for House himself to appreciate. An idea that would no doubt come back to bite her, but at least House would go down too...
IN THE MORINING
House woke up hung over but pleased. He had accomplished exactly what he set out to do, gotten so drunk he had no idea how he got to his room. It's a good thing I have my doctors little helper. He thought as he reached for his vicodin. Where are my pills? WHERE IS MY SUIT! He flinched, thinking that loud hurt. After a second of recovery it registered that he was naked. Lifting the covers slightly revealed that he was only mostly right, he had a single sock on. Without rolling over he looked around the portion of the room he could see. His cane was hung on the inside of the door handle, and there was a path of clothing male and female leading to the bed. Then he steeled himself and turned to the other side. His eyes widened so far he thought they might explode. Shit. A head of dark messy curls and an unparalleled hourglass figure could mean one of two women. Both of them could only mean trouble. Using his professional mind he examined the situation. Smaller hips, lighter hair, lack of forked tail, a different but equally as alluring perfume, and...that's not the same color bra Cuddy had on last night. He thought looking at the brassier hanging off the post at the foot of the bed. All the symptoms lead to one diagnosis.
"Rena." he growled. "Did we have sex?"
"What?" she asked as she began to wake up.
"Intercourse..." He dragged out the word. "Did we have it?"
"Maybe, maybe not. What do you remember?"
"Ah, getting here. Getting a key. Getting a drink, and another, and another, and so on. Then waking up and getting the surprise of my miserable and much too long life."
"You used my first name." she was genuinely surprised.
"I figured if we had, in fact, engaged in adult activities together I should offer you at least offer you that courtesy, once. So Thirteen, speaking of adult activities..." He never finished his sentence, because Rena sat up. His eyes traveled down the curve of her back to the waistband of his boxers.
"I always pictured you as the commando type, I guess I was wrong huh?" she said looking down at her own lap. House could hear the loaded tone in her voice. Then once again the professional portion of his brain was shut down as she got up and walked to her bag on the dresser. He cursed the layout of the room for the poor setup. She was able to to keep her back to him the entire time. He watched her muscles flex as she pulled a tank top on, then to his horror she pulled the curtains open. He slapped a hand over his eyes.
"I thought vampires couldn't see the sun." He winced.
"Only if they're hung over." She teased.
"What do you mean 'only if they're hung over.'?" He asked as she lay back on the bed. "The only way you could not be hung over is if you didn't get drunk, and if you didn't get drunk..."
"Why did I take you to my room?"
"And strip me naked and take my pills?"
"Oh yeah, you can have those back if you want." She said reaching for the drawer in the night stand. He snatched them from her and swallowed one dry before venturing any further.
"So let me get this straight you, Thirteen, being of sound mind and having complete proper judgement, took advantage of me. You waited until I was drunk as a skunk to have your way with me, which may I say I would have let you do at the drop of a hat. You..."
"Who said we had sex?"
"We were both in a bed, and not just any bed mind you a hotel bed, naked, and previously one of us imbibed a serious amount of alcohol. Does that not suggest sex to you?"
"It could suggest an awful collage prank, with loads of scandalous pictures, that may or may not show up, but only when this incident is brought up in public. Or yes we could have had pretty good sex." She grinned.
"You were very very drunk." she reminded him.
"So your blackmailing me?"
"I prefer psychological warfare. Now I'm going to take a shower. I suggest you collect your things and leave before I get out or then we'd have to leave together and people may talk." With that she kissed him soundly on the lips got out of bed and headed to the bathroom without a second look.
House lay in bed a moment longer trying to decide what had just happened. He had been kissed by a woman that could destroy him. He would forever wonder what lead her to do what she had done, and more importantly if they ever had sex at all. It was that thought that lead him to an important decision, he needed a drink. After he collected his things and made his way down to the bar he began to think again. His introspection was short lived however, Taub, Kutner, and Foreman all eventually wandered into the bar.
"Nice to see your alive." Foreman said slapping him on the back and causing him to flinch.
"You have no idea." he responded into his drink.
"What did you do with Thirteen?" Kutner asked making him snort most of his drink back into his cup. "She never came back after taking you upstairs. We were beginning to think the unthinkable happened." He said with a laugh. Then as if on cue Thirteen sauntered into the bar.
"Speak of the devil." Taub pulled a chair out for her.
"Careful what you wish for." House muttered. She declined the chair and instead placed a neatly folded pair of boxers on the bar.
"You left these in my room." She said with a killer smile.
"I..." he stared at the boxers. In response she ran her fingers through his hair and down his cheek.
"See you on Monday." she said as she left the room. House looked up to watch her go, then back at his team. He could only respond to the looks on their faces with one word. Shit.
So...what do YOU think...did they or didn't they?
(I'm super confused now, I thought her name was Remy, and you guys say her name is Remy but the Fox/House site says Rena...I had gone there to check how to correctly spell Kutner...and found that...If someone could help me out on that I will more than gladly correct for it!)