By the Time You Read This

Summary: Set one hundred years into the future. AU. Rain/Yuka. Sort of a preview into future fanfictions. A songfic to By the Time You Read This by Unfinished Thought. Yuka confesses something to Rain, but how will he react?

Disclaimer: I do not own Immortal Rain or any of its characters. I also do not own By the Time You Read This by Unfinished Thought. I only own my OC's Kana and Maya.

XxX

"You're what!?" Rain screamed, eyes widened in disbelief as he stared unblinking at the boy before him.

"It's true..." Yuka said just above a whisper, tears forming in blood red eyes, "I couldn't keep it from you any longer, Rain. I'm a double agent for Sceleris, but I didn't have a choice in the matter. Rain, please believe me..." Yuka's lip was trembling as he looked up at the man, desperately waiting for a response.

Rain backed away, looking down at the floor, "Yuka... This is it. This is the last time you will ever lie to me!" he shouted. He turned away and walked out the door, into the pouring rain outside. Yuka sank to his knees as he let go and let the tears fall.

How could he have done this? As if he didn't know. He and Rain had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table. Yuka knew Rain was thinking about Sceleris, and Rain knew that Yuka knew and he voiced it. Somehow it came to Yuka admitting to Rain for the third time that he was a double agent for the orginization in question. But this time Maya wasn't there to cover up for him because she went out of town to visit her mother.

Yuka put his face in his hands as the tears continued to fall from his eyes, "I have to get out of here..." he whispered, "I can't stay, because if I do he'll just get hurt again. Everyone around me does..."

The dejected child ran upstairs to the room he shared with Rain and grabbed his notebook from the nightstand. He turned to a fresh page and wrote out a note, tearing it out and folding it neatly after finishing. Yuka went back downstairs and left the note on the kitchen table, then taking of his locket, the one Rain gave him on his tenth birthday, and he laid it on the table next to the note. He grabbed a knife from one of the drawers and trudged out the door into the cold, dark night.

By the time you read this

I will be light years away.

High pressure is building

compressing calm I leave today.

"I can never live a peaceful life, I can never be happy..." Yuka thought as he walked through the dark towards the river, "Why? I always end up suffering and so does everyone I love. My parents, they're just great, because they never loved me. They didn't even care when I ran away to be with Rain. Rain... you'll probably never understand my reasons for making you Methusala. You were the only person who ever loved me and I wanted to keep you with me always. What a selfish thing for me to do... but that wasn't enough to make you give up on me. This, though... I just hope that someday you can forgive me... for everything. Good-bye everyone... I love you all..."

Memories of it all came flooding back to him. All the wrong he'd done, Rain saving him from himself, the trauma he went through after the memories came back to him in his current life, and of course Rain plucking him from the garden that was his isolated life and brought him into his world. He thought that all his suffering could end, that he could be happy, but he was wrong. It was always the same thing over and over again. He slowly made his way towards a nearby waterfall as he held the knife in his small, trembling hands.

To live the rest of my days

in a chemical haze

where the only problem I face

are those that give chase.

"By the time he reads my note I'll be gone..." Yuka thought.

He always intended to leave one of these days, as always. That was the way it was for him in every life. Nobody wanted him around anymore. Now that Rain would never speak to him again, he had nothing to live for. Maybe his next life would be better, maybe he and Rain could have a happy ending then.

By the time you read this

I'll be light years away,

sight seeing parallels

I was always meaning to erase.

Meanwhile, Rain walked back into the house, "So he was just being a drama queen again..." he sighed, "That boy is going to be the death of me one way or another" Maya had explained to him that Yuka was just saying things again and it wasn't true. Once again Yuka was just playing games with him.

He looked around the house to find that Yuka was no where in sight, "You were playing with me again!" he shouted playfully and a bit desperately, "Good one, Yuka!" He was only answered with silence, "Yuka! Yuka! Come on, I know you're kidding me!"

Rain sighed and walked into the kitchen where he spied the note and Yuka's locket on the table. He picked it up with shaking hands and read it.

Dear Rain,

This is it. I'm through with my life and just want what peace I'll get before being reborn. I'm through, and it's not a game this time. I'm going down to the waterfall to stab myself and disappear from this world. Try to stop me if you want, but you aren't enough to stop me. By the time you read this, you'll probably be too late. I love you and please, please try to forgive me for all I've done. You are all I ever wanted, you are the only one I've ever loved. I love you, good-bye.

Love, Yuka

P.S. Tell everyone else that I love them too. Although it may be hard to comprehend, we're all one big family and I don't think I could have gotten this far without you all.

Rain dashed out the door, running as fast as he could to the waterfall, praying he wasn't too late.

It's an ending I want.

I don't care if it's happy,

I'm just happy it is there.

As Yuka climbed the rocks towering over the river, he whispered to himself, "I wish I had never existed. Anything is better than my fate, to always be reborn and always suffer. With Rain by my side I thought I could do it, but what's the point if it will always end like this? Everyone would have been better off without me" He stood on the edge of the cliff, the sound of the raging water was all he could hear and he looked down into the darkness, knowing the water was just below him, waiting to swallow up his dying body.

Wishing I had sometimes

been more in the way

of myself being paralyzed

from the look on your face.

Rain hurried to the waterfall as fast as his legs would carry him, "Please, Yuka, still be okay. Don't leave me alone again" he thought. The waterfall was now in view, and Rain could see Yuka atop the rocks. Rain still had a chance. The rain poured down on him and his heartbeat was pounding in his ears, and all he could think was that he had to save Yuka, that he couldn't let it all go back to the way it used to be.

Yuka held the knife up to the night sky, not yet prepared to go. He wanted his last thought to be a happy one, and he closed his eyes and searched his memory for his happiest one with Rain. And then he found it; in his last life, he was with Rain and Kana. They were laying in bed, and he had his head resting against Rain's chest as he held little Kana in his arms. The bittersweet memory brought fresh tears to his eyes and at the same time brought a smile to his face.

It's an ending I want.

I don't care if it's happy,

I'm just happy it is there.

Yuka thrust the dagger towards his heard, but a strong yet gentle hand grasped his wrist, stopping the knife only inches from his heart. Yuka opened his eyes and looked at the hand, his gaze travelling to the face of it's owner. He met the frightened yet gentle eyes of his lover.

"Yuka, please don't do this," Rain begged, "Maya told me you were playing games again. I don't know how she knows, but she does. Don't do this. You know this isn't what you want. Just drop the knife and it'll all be over"

Yuka dropped the knife and it dropped to the rocks and plummeted down to the river. Yuka broken down into a fit of sobs as he hugged Rain, "Rain, I'm so sorry..."

Rain held the boy tightly against him as he whispered, "Let's go home, Yuka. It's all over now"