Reasons Why Sakura Haruno Is Really, Undeniably Cool
written by Sakura Haruno
& Ino Yamanka, bitch!

1) She's best friends with Ino Yamanka. You're just so freaking shameless, seriously. Hey, there's no point in lying, is there?

2) She's a proud catholic, yo! Yeah, and she goes to youth group and choir and every freaking Sunday she— Ino, so do you. And I love church. And so do you. I know, I know. I'm just building up dramatic effect.

3) She has the most beautiful voice in all church choir, and probably the school as well. Ino, stop. I'm not that good. You're too modest. We can't put that on this cool list.

4) She listens to good music. Yeah, okay. Hey, what was that about? I mean, your Christian rock is pretty cool, but some stuff is like…what? Like what? All your weird British-pop bands. And let's not forget Madonna. …whatever…

5) She is undeniably and irrevocably in love with Sasuke Uchiha. Ino! Ew! I am SO not! I mean, that was so ten years ago. Old flames just don't die out! …yeah, they do. Well we'll just have to see how the cookie crumbles…


(Listless Casualties)

/pose one/
flash a smile and pull a Shakespeare


It all started many, many, many years. Ya know, when I was young and cool shows were present on Nickelodeon, not showing crappy things like iCarly and The Mighty B. It was a time in the 90's, and although the fashion was terrible with the long wool skirts and baggy sweaters that just weren't flattering, it was a time of good music, peace, and love.

It was a time to be in Mrs. Uchiha's religion class, held at our church every Friday night at six-thirty. I'd always sit next to the handsome stud that ended up stealing my heart.

But enough with the emotional crap. I'm old enough and smart enough to know that fairytales are for idiots.

And before you start judging me and going, "Oh goodness, here's another girl who hates love and all that clichéd stuff", you should know that the last thing I'll ever be is clichéd. And I don't hate love. I just think fairytales are for people waiting around for something better.

And romance, well, don't even get me started. I love it, but not in the sickening kind of way.

Hm, and what could you stereotype me as?

Oh, I don't know, a teenage girl?

…that didn't take long.

(or that much work)

But stereotypes are also for idiots. I mean, really, everyone is different, and you can't be put in a group.

Or you can, but they're still not cool.

They're as cold as hot chocolate.

(and yes I went there)

Psh freaking yeah.


Reasons Why Being Catholic Pwns All
written by Sakura Haruno
& Ino Yamanka

1) All the volunteer work looks so good on your college application. Ino, you're so incredibly shallow. What, it's true?

2) There are many good-looking men there. …They're priests. EW, not like THAT. I meant ones you also volunteer. Like who? SASUKE. …die…

3) You have something to believe in, and therefore a purpose in life. Like screwing Uchiha Sasuke senseless? We're in church right now!

4) You get total brownie points from the 'rents when they know about your hardcore religious tendencies. Seriously, you're so going to hell. Oh, I know, darling.

5) You can see Sasuke Uchiha. Holy freaking crap Ino! Just because we used to be 'childhood sweethearts' so does NOT mean that we can be together now. I mean, you know who he is! …your future husband?


"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Yo bitch, it's me—well you know who.

So guess what? Tonight, there's this carnival down at the beach, and I'm pretty sure that we have to go. They will be there, but that's technically not a bad thing.

And when you say 'love ya, sweetie!', that is to ME, your HOME GIRL Ino, right?

OR Sasuke.



"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Stop embarrassing me, please. But anyways, it's Gaara, and we should go to the beach tonight. Call me back, alright?"


"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Okay, so Sakura, this is Tenten, and you're my lesbo lover, so therefore you ARE my home girl. Seriously.

But anyways, I'm sure Ino's already called to invite you tonight, and let's not forget the boyfriend, but I'm still here to remind you because I love you. Seriously.

And Ino keeps saying that Konoha will be there, which is like, sigh, terrible. Whatever.




"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Um, hey, it's me, Hinata, and tonight's the thing at the place and all that jazz. You coming, right?

And if so, PLEASE come to my house. Kiba asked me to go with him.

-insert squeals-

And I don't like youknowwho. Seriously."


"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Hi sweetie, it's your father, and I love you too! But I just wanted to tell you that I'll be coming home late again, okay? Call me if you have any plans."


"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Yoooo, it's me, you're home girl Sakura, like, for real now.

And yes, I'm calling myself, but that's only 'cause I'm in the living room on the house phone, and I really, REALLY don't want to go to my room to get my cell because there's a Ting-Ting interview on VH1 right now, but I wanted to remind myself to get 'That's Not My Name' on my iPod.

Oh, and that tonight, I need to make plans. And to wear my new denim mini skirt with the pink scarf my cousin got me the other day.

AND to paint a picture of that bird by my window that comes every morning—which is why I'm spending my Saturday morning getting up at six so I can get the picture.

And maybe to talk to my dad about his single streak.



Love ya gal, and talk to ya later!"


"Okay, for serious, cotton candy is like, a gift from the freaking gods." I shouted in between the stuffing of fluffy, pink stuff in my mouth. Once the paper stick was completely free of all sugary and delicious things, I threw it into the barbwire can next to us, licking my fingers."

Ino snorted. "We all know that fried Oreos are totally king. I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Ew, I don't want to sound like a health freak, because we all know that I'm not, but a fried Oreo sounds like a heart attack. Seriously, gross. And I don't like Oreos anyways. I'm more of a sweet, not chocolate kind of girl."

Hinata giggled. "Only you would hate chocolate." Kiba—who is super hot and smoking, if ya didn't know—just smiled, gripping her hand more. And I'm like—inwardly, of course—awing my head off. They're so super cute, and like, all those wonderful things.

And yes, Ino things that she belongs with someone in Konoha (ewewew), who's name rhymes with Karuto, and has blonde hair and deep blue eyes and is the epitome of 'loser' (and is best friends with my childhood sweetheart—not that it matters or anything), but she thinks that about me too, so I must defend Hina-chan.

"Kiba and Hinata sitting in a tree," Tenten sang giddily in my ear as I laughed. Both looked at me, but I waved my hand, dismissing any worries—or taunting.

A snort was heard from ahead, but I could recognize that unattractive sound from the nostril area from a mile away, in a crowd of pigs (not that there was a difference between the two). "Well look what the tide washed in."

"What are you doing here, dick-wad?" Ino asked, venom dripping on every word of her speech.

"Anyone is welcome." A delicious, manly, and all-together-wonderful voice said above the crowd, and I just had to look up and come face to face with the most handsome man ever created—besides Gaara, um, of course.

But this man, well, he was special. He was the Mary to my Joseph, the God to my Jesus, the Holy to my Spirit, and the Father to my Son.

But it's not like I like him or something—especially not love.

"I know that, but what gives you the right to come up to us? We're just walking around and having a good time." I came in, because like, MY man was talking, and, as fate would have it,—seriously, Shakespeare was one smart and cool dude—I had to retort to him, symbolizing our perfection as a couple.

And yes, I do know that I'm a whore because I happen to have a large crush on Sasuke Uchiha, while also dating Gaara Subaku, but hear me out. I've denied this little infatuation because we're supposed to hate each other—our schools anyway. It's this whole feud that has to do with who plays soccer better and who can run faster, who has a better chemistry teacher and whose violin is more in tune.

Those silly little things that cause schools to go fussy and do stupid things that cause all this idiotic hatred.

And the reason why Sasuke-kun and I can't get together.

Because I'm pretty sure there's a fair chance that he likes me back. He always agrees with me (okay, not really, but when I mentioned the whole 'we're just strolling' thing, he nodded) and smirks a lot, which is undeniably sexy.

And we used to date!

Okay, not really. But I'd always kiss him on the cheek in religion, and he'd always hug me and blush, and I'd always purposely forget my religion book just so I could sit next to him and share it with him and whenever he'd read, with that manly voice of his—and yes, we were five, but it doesn't matter!—I'd swoon.

And that, my friends, is eternal love.

So as Ino and Neji yell at each other while Hinata keeps sneaking glances at Naruto even though she has her arm wrapped around loverboy and Tenten snorts obnoxiously at this 'lovers spat',—did I mention she hates even the thought of anyone getting together through the opposing schools—I glance at Sasuke and roll my eyes.

And my response?

That incredibly delicious and scrumptious smirk.

My heartbeats increasing way too rapidly for anyone's own good and a blush is appearing on my face. I hope that it's still dark enough so it doesn't show my obvious excitement.

The bickering was hurting my ears—and making me feel terrible for having a crush on Sasuke—so I said, "Yo, guys, I'm going to go check out the mirror house." I grabbed the popcorn bag out of Ino's hand and headed towards the house, where I would reflect (haha, get it?) on my life and how fucked up it is.

I entered, looking at my appearance. My artsy bun was still intact, but the shoes I was wearing were killing me. I took of the threatening, white heals and placed both in my hand, choosing to not notice any more flaws and walking off.

And as I ventured farther into the room, to my stupidity, I realized that all I'd be noticing was flaws.

"You know, you're really not that fat."

I turned my head to see my black-haired enemy, but we're really secret friends (kind of), who are going to be secret lovers one day that will not inevitably lead us to our death.

'Cause we're not that kinky.

(or uncreative)

"Why thank you Sasuke. It's nice to know that I'm not that fat, but still indeed fat." I rolled my eyes, still walking from mirror to mirror, noticing more and more things wrong about me. When the hell did I get that pimple? And why oh why didn't anyone tell me that my teeth had some cotton candy in them.

Sasuke scoffed from behind me. "That's not what I meant."

I laughed lightly, bitterly, in that I-love-you kind of way that always makes me regret being a woman—giggling is a natural gift, didn't ya know? "What are you doing here, anyways? Shouldn't you be talking about how the ref at the last game was so totally not fair, or something idiotic like that?"

"You know I don't care about that stuff." And as he said that with his—still—manly voice, I looked up in the mirror, only to see him. And his reflection is just as wonderful as him—but what do you expect from an Uchiha? Like, if you go to a dictionary and look up the word 'perfection', a picture of Sasuke Uchiha will be there.

My breath catches in my throat when I see him behind me in the mirror. With him this close, I can see that there are no flaws located on his porcelain-like skin, and I'm so totally jealin'.

"Why do you think our school fights so much? I mean, we're really not that different." The thought of only watching him in the mirror leads me to turn around, leaning my back against the glass.

He shrugged. "We have better school colors?" I laughed as he let out a smirk. "I don't really know, actually."

"I know! It's just so stupid, that I can't even take it sometimes. I mean, people can't be friends from each of the schools, and I'm so sure that this is going to be like Romeo and Juliet, or—oh lordy, lordy, lordy—Westside Story. Someone's just going to die, I just know it."

Sasuke looked up, his eyes boring into mine. "We're friends." Leave it to a man to take the least important part of the conversation and revolve his statement—the superior one, of course—into something completely different.

I smiled at him. "Really now?"

He snorted. "Of course."

"Just friends, right?"

He paused for a second, but then nodded.

And holy freaking crap did I want to shoot him at the moment.

How could he not sense the obvious chemistry between us? The fact that our past shall become the future? That he's undeniably sexy and I'm breathtakingly beautiful. That God wanted us to get together, and to triumph over this freaking hatred.

It's like we're on a mission from God…

(and yes, I do happen to love The Blue's Brothers, and all other wondrous 80's movies)


I can so sense a bottle of Viagra coming my way tonight…


Reasons Why Doing Nothing On A Friday Is So Totally Boss
(even after you go out for a night on the town)
written by Sakura Haruno

1) Um, chyeah, no annoying friends here to complain and bitch about how you're in love with Sasuke Uchiha—even if it's true.

2) You get to watch all those really cheesy shows on TV, but are still utterly amazing like Fresh Prince and maybe even some Full House—with the dad, of course.

3) You can wear whatever you want (jammies with Madeline on them—and yes, they still fit from five years ago) while vegging on the couch and mooching off your fridge's leftovers.

4) You don't get so drunk off your ass from the beer in Ino's fridge in the basement, or the rum and cokes that Tenten happens to make flawlessly—oh, and no hangover the next morning! BONUS!

5) You won't be with your boyfriend Gaara and your secret crush Sasuke Uchiha.


If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar:
for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
-John 4:20


Yo, it's Julia, with a new story!

This one probably won't be updated for a long while, only because I want to finish my other stories before school comes, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. So I hope you like it and all that jazz.

Oh, and on a side note, if you're not Catholic (and if not, pray tell what you believe in), don't hate this story because of it. I happen to be proudly Catholic, so I respect other religions. And if you happen to diss them, I WILL fight back. But anyways, it may be a reoccurring theme, but it won't dominate the story. It's kinda just like, a way that everyone in the story is alike.

And just saying, there will be a happy ending (you guys know me too well for that) and tons of cuteness. They'll most likely get together in the next chapter, but it has to be rushed. You'll see.