Summary: Sasori lives alone, and has never wished for anything more than having a partner. One day, he rescues a faulty cyborg from being reduced to scrap metal, and buys it without thinking of the consequences that would follow. What will happen?
To Love a Cyborg
Sasori Akasuna, 19 years old, a college freshman and die-hard FiERY! fan - that's me. I love to eat spicy rice-cake and fried glass noodles, but screw that for now. I'm currently at the rich boy Uchiha Itachi's house, playing blackjack. And I'm losing terribly, seriously, horribly. Damn that Uchiha, he insisted on sitting just opposite the mini water fountain with goldfish, so that luck would "face" him. And indeed, luck is getting to him right now. Screw those rich people and their idiotic fengshui knowledge.
"Open your cards, people," barked Hidan as he put on this I'm-gonna-win-you-all-for-sure face. He scowled as he saw Kakuzu's fine set of cards, knowing that his money was gonna be sucked up again. Cursing, he kicked the older man's leg and went on to have a look at Konan's cards. It was another beautiful set.
"Ah, you fuckers did me in again!" he muttered as he tossed a few coins her.
"Get lost, you asshole; I ain't no fucker," replied Konan indignantly. She looked at my set of cards and sighed.
"You're gonna be bankrupt soon, at this rate you're going," she said as I bit my lip.
"I'm already bankrupt, thanks to that Uchiha over there, with his stupid fengshui." I threw my cards down and stupid Hidan, like an eagle, swooped down eagerly and grabbed my coins. Fucker.
"Your luck doesn't seem very good tonight, my friend," retorted Kakuzu as he took a mouthful of coke, and choked.
"Whatever! I'm not gonna play anymore, anyway. I've got a book review to turn in," I said irritatedly, putting my wallet back into my bag.
"Going so soon, Sasori?" The stupid Uchiha made my nerves explode. He had the cheek to say that, that bastard! I gritted my teeth and nodded, fishing my pocket for my house keys. Good, they were still there.
"Want me to send you home? I've just polished my sports car this morning you know."
My eye twitches. "No thanks, Itachi. I'll make my way home myself, thank you very much." With that, I grab my bag and storm out the large door. Man, how bushed I am. Having to deal with that sissy Hidan's cursing and kicking, and idiotic whining? How lucky can you get, huh? HUH?
Ugh. Must be the beer than I downed just now. Itachi said that it was specially imported from England, and forced us all to drink one whole glass of it each. It's a good thing I'm still sober, or I wouldn't be able to walk home.
Wait, am I sober or not? OK whatever.
It's already midnight, and the city clock is chiming. I make my way past the crowd of people (who have just celebrated their happy hour) and colourful neon lightings, and dive straight into a familiar alley which will take me to my apartment really quick. Though it's a little risky and dangerous, but I really want to get home fast. Then, when I get home, I'll fix myself a cup of tea and then go to bed straight. After all, tomorrow's Saturday. Good.
Just as I pass by the fifth trashcan of the alley, I hear a voice come from the one of the shop backhouses of the alley - it seems to be a middle-aged man's voice. Being curious, I edge closer towards the half-open door and make my way into the dimly-lit room. Soon, two figures come into sight.
"I'm sorry my dear, but you will have to go. Your circuit isn't functioning well, and you can't talk. I don't know what's the problem with you. Tomorrow, the scrap-material boss will come over to take you. I will have to shut off your power-system for eternity..." A man wearing a navy-blue cap said solemnly as he wrote something on a post-it and stuck it to the wall. Beside him, there was girl pulling and tugging on his hand, as if she was begging him to do something. But the man merely shook his head.
"No, Deidara, I'm really sorry. I'm not earning enough money to make ends meet, and no one will ever buy you in this state. I can't fix you either, so you will have to be scrapped."
I watched as the girl's blue eyes fill with horror and despair. But I didn't understand anything at all. Scrapped? How could he possibly scrap a human? This was too much!
I stepped forward and looked at the man, who was surprised to see me. Ha, this will teach you to lock your doors properly, you old geezer! The girl turned to look at me with her already tear-filled eyes.
"You can't possibly scrap a human, you idiot!" I yell as a point an indignant finger at the man, who seemed confused for a bit. But after a minute or so, he got what I was trying to tell him, and laughed a little.
"Young man, you think that Deidara is a human?" he asked me. I nod quickly, and it cost me half my pride, I think.
"No, no, Deidara's not a human. This fellow here is a cyborg," he said, smiling, pointing at the tear-eyed girl, who looked at me curiously.
My eyes widen considerably. This thing is a cyborg?!
The man laughs at my expression. "I can see that you are a noob when it comes to mechanics and technology, my friend," he said gently, "don't worry, I'll fill you in. Deidara here is a cyborg, and is part of the All-in series. Which means the cyborg can do many many things, such as cleaning, cooking, doing your homework, defending you, helping you fix things...and stuff like that."
I blink. I think Itachi has these things. He showed me two of his cyborgs last Friday, and man, they were super cool. But his was something like the Computer-series, and in fact, they could programme the house lighting system perfectly well. Talk about wow.
"So, since this cyborg is so great, why don't you keep it?" I ask.
The man's smile fades a little. He sighs and folds his arms. "You see, this fellow's practically useless and destroyed. The inner-system is wonky, and the circuit is completely done-for. I don't know what happened, so I can't fix it. But the thing is, Deidara's still alive and well, though the body is practically ruined...I would very much like to keep this fellow, but I need money to keep this shop going, and this fellow will never be sold, ever, with his current condition."
I find myself thinking fast. "You could keep him as a shop assistant."
The man shook his head. "Deidara can't talk. Also, my shop doesn't have many customers, and I can manage by myself already. What I really need, though, is money. That's why I've got to sell him." With that, the cyborg beside him starts to cry, though the sobs can't be heard. My heart nearly breaks at the sight. Well, I'm a sucker for sympathy. That cost me dearly, though.
Unable to take it anymore, I cry out, "I'll take this fellow, just don't scrap her!" The truth was, I couldn't bear to see a cyborg, alive and happy-looking, being sentenced to eternal sleep, because she was faulty and couldn't be sold. If she was still alive, she had to be saved. Definitely.
The man looks at me, even more surprised than before. "You don't look like a rich kid, and Deidara's original price is a bomb. I don't think you'd be able to afford him, but I do need some money, and I do think you'll be the only one willing to buy him - "
"Cut the crap, how much do you want? I'll see if I can afford it."
"...two thousand five hundred dollars."
At that point, I nearly scream out with horror. Daylight robbery! Two thousand five hundred for a freaking cyborg! It was going to be a tough decision, between my principles and my desire to buy that game console I had always wanted. I only had three hundred dollars, just enough to buy that video game console...
But I choke when I hear what this fellow's initial price was - twenty-thousand five hundred and ninety-nine dollars. A computer never cost this much!
"You see, with all his programming ruined, he's only worth this much now. I've really made a huge loss this time - his previous owner, the son of a rich family, apparently managed to kick him down the stairs, and after that, the mechanism got ruined," said the man.
I gagged. Sickening rich boys, ill-treating their little playtoys and stuffed animals! Not knowing the reality and hardship of life - when I was young, I got my first teddy-bear from a second-hand shop. Damn those assholes. Their teddy-bears must have been made of gold bars.
"But the scrap metal boss won't pay you that much either, mister," I said, taking out my wallet, "I'll give you everything I have here! Three hundred dollars."
"...that is two hundred dollars more than what the scrap-metal boss promised me..."
"Please, mister, don't let your flame of humanity within your heart die," I pleaded, using the phrase I had learnt from literature class. Good thing we learnt "Little Apple Pie" for english literature.
The man seemed to be taken aback by what I said. Good. Hopefully he would change his mind.
"...but - "
"...fine, fine. I'll accept this offer. But on two conditions - do not ask me for a refund for Deidara, and treat him well, okay?" the man finally relented. I sighed in relief and nodded.
"And, Deidara may go bonkers anytime, are you sure you can handle him?"
I nod fast. I'm just too desperate to save this cyborg from being smothered and scrapped by the scrapping machine. "Yes, yes." I hand the money over to the man, who bows.
"Thank you very much. Now, I will tell you a few things about the cyborg, as seeing how noobish you are in this - "
"Don't call me a noob," I say irritatedly, my lip twitching.
It turned out that Deidara the cyborg did not need recharging, as the cyborgs of that series were special in some way. Also, cyborgs didn't need to eat, though they could. After giving me the instructions manual on how to take care of Deidara, the man bid me goodbye and said something which shocked my body and soul.
"Just thought that I would let you know that Deidara is a guy, not a girl. You've been addressing Deidara as a "her" from just now till the present, so...yeah."
Shoot. I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
Mother and father in heaven, do you think I have made the right decision in buying this cyborg?