Okay, well this isn't really a 'crack-fic' because it's not crazy, and you will understand it, but it's dedicated to-guess who?-a friend named Natty. It's just about the mission of her dreams. I'm hoping she can pull it out one bad day and feel better.
I don't own anything... well, I kind of own the mission and K but that's about it.
Natty froze upon hearing her name. Who could've snuck into her apartment? Who was right behind her? Were they ready to shoot? Slowly, she turned around in a battle stance, ready to fight the woman-it was obviously a woman by the voice-if need be. But seeing the young brunette with an envelope in hand, and in no way ready to attack, Natty relaxed.
"Who are you?"
Without missing a beat, the girl said, "Call me K."
Fine, okay, so she had a name. "And why are you here? How'd you get into my apartment? And how do you know my name?"
Only answering the first one, she replied, "I was sent. To give you this."
Curiously, Natty grabbed the yellow manila envelope. However, she knew not to open it with… K around. "Who's it from?"
Finally, a new assignment! She'd been waiting for another one for days… worrying that after last mission's screw-up, she might be benched for a while. But it wasn't her fault. It was that little betrayer—
"Are you going to open it?" were the words that interrupted Natty's thoughts. There was that girl, K… she hadn't left yet. She shuffled awkwardly. "No. You know the rules."
The girl laughed, amused. "I'm higher ranking than you."
"Is that so? You're how old, exactly?" She couldn't hide the amusement and sarcasm from her voice.
"That's not important. I was trained young. I could tell you the mission right now."
"What is it?"
K grinned mischievously. "Kill Bryce Larkin."
There he was. The mere sight of him caused a surge of anger to erupt from Natty. He was a liar, a thief, a betrayer, a cheat… and he deserved to die. The damn bastard betrayed her, the CIA, the whole freaking country! He'd been with Fulcrum all along, and now she couldn't wait to get her hands on the weasel. Plus…
He cheated. A few missions ago, they'd been partners. And then… well, things just fell into place, and he asked her out. They'd been dating for two months, when last mission, he'd… run off with some Jill woman. Turns out they'd both been Fulcrum, but before Natty could do anything about it, she'd been shot at and barely escaped. Mission failed and heartbroken Natty. She swore to herself she would never let a man take advantage of her like that again. But she wanted to hurt him; she wanted to hurt him so badly…
Her hand itched toward her gun. She had to make this quick and without any mess… making sure the silencer was on her gun, Natty quickly rolled, ducked and weaved her way through the hall, her stealthy moves not being caught on camera. She could see the back of his head now, and it was clear that there was someone else. They moved around a little… there! Shit, it was that Jill girl! She almost grumbled but caught herself and instead moved toward the door. It only took one second, but at the end of that second, Natty had Bryce in a headlock, a Desert Eagle pressed against him, while Jill looked at them in fear before pulling out her SPAS 12.
Damn, Natty thought. This might be tricky.
She kicked Bryce in the groin, and he gasped and fell to the floor. While Bryce was falling, Natty swung her leg and kicked Jill in the head so that she crumpled to the floor as well. Taking both guns, she aimed one at Jill (making sure that the silencer was on) and shot.
She turned to Bryce now. "That was for cheating on me. And this…" She raised her gun. "Is for betraying all of us."
"Please," he begged, still recuperating from her kick. "I… they forced me! I didn't… Don't shoot me!"
Natty erupted in laughter, her eyes gleaming, before suddenly becoming serious, with no emotion. She brought the gun to his head level, all the while watching his quivering eyes. "Too late."
"Good job, Agent Awesome. You successfully terminated Bryce Larkin, and the other one who was Fulcrum…"
Graham nodded. "I have another assignment for you."
"Already?" She was almost leaping for joy. Natty wouldn't even have to stay in her apartment for more than an hour!
"Yes. You and…" He looked down at his paper. "You and Agent K will report to the airport in three hours to board Flight 107. She will come to you soon with a full briefing. Good luck."
"Wait!" she called out before Graham could sign off of the screen. "How… how old is Agent K, exactly? Isn't she a little young?"
Graham smiled. "Why don't you ask her?" The screen went blank.
"Yeah, why don't you ask me?"
Natty turned around, startled. Damn, this kid kept popping out of nowhere. "How did you get in my apartment? Twice?"
K rolled her eyes with a smile and handed her one of the packets in her hand. "That doesn't matter. What does matter is this mission… apparently we have to go keep watch over some man with a bunch of secrets in his head."
This time, Natty didn't hesitate to rip open the envelope and pour the contents into her hand. There was a picture of a man with curly brown hair, plus enough information on him that it scared her on how they got all this. "Charles 'Chuck' Bartowski."
That was when K said the exact thing that was on Natty's mind. "He's kind of cute."
"Even so, you know the rules. Asset-handler relationships are completely out of bounds."
She looked once more at the picture and assignment. They had to make sure that no one harmed the… Intersect. And they would go on missions if he ever flashed. Okay, that didn't sound too hard.
"But if that rule ever changes…" K started.
Both looked at each other and at the same time called out, "He's mine!" before collapsing in a fit of giggles, which was so unlike both of them. Anyone that could make her laugh, Natty noted, was considered a friend in her book.