Title: November Rain
By: MrsHeleneSnape / Mrs Helene Snape (on AFF)
Warnings: Angst, Preg, Death, LM/HG

Disclaimers: The characters belong to JKR and the song is property of its writer (perhaps Axel Rose? - I can't be certain) I make no money from this work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

Song: November Rain
By: Guns -n- Roses
Year: 1991

A/N: The story switches back from the past to the present somewhat often. For easy clarification, flashbacks will be noted in italics. The lyrics are noted in bold.


It was raining. That was not an unusual occurrence in London. But the rain of the chilly November coupled with her location made it all the more unbearable.

Hermione was in the wizarding cemetery in London, seeking out a particular marker. She released the breath she was holding as she quite literally stumbled across the headstone she was looking for.

Lucius A. Malfoy
Beloved Fiance
Father
Friend

As she ran her hand across his name, she began to sob and reminisce on their brief life together.

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained

The first time he really looked at her was at the private party Draco was throwing for him. Draco had invited Hermione in an effort to cheer his father up after the divorce. Narcissa had been completely ruthless during their divorce proceedings. She had hired investigators in an attempt to uncover infidelity or other nefarious activities on Lucius' part. All the investigators found was a more efficient way to burn through the money Narcissa paid them. At the end of the mudslinging, Narcissa barely walked away with half of what she was promised in the betrothal contract.

But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

Hermione had felt the obvious spark shared between herself and Lucius when he held her as they danced. It was all so exciting and new. She knew that he was still reeling from his very messy divorce, so she didn't want to rush him.

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change

But she also didn't want to give him the chance to turn tail and run. She silently thanked Draco for making her come to Lucius' divorce celebration.

And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

Hermione breathed deeply as she stood in the rain looking down upon the cold grave of Lucius Malfoy. It was unbelievably ironic that the day she finally chose to visit Lucius' grave was the one year anniversary of the happiest day of her life.

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

They had begun a tentative relationship shortly after Lucius' divorce party. They took comfort in each other's presence, simply for the fact that they each had first hand knowledge of the pain the other was going through.

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

Hermione had been dating Ron for several years after the fall of Voldemort. When she unintentionally became pregnant, Ron morphed into a person she no longer recognized. It was when he became verbally abusive that Hermione drew the line. His anger at her for some unspoken transgression became so intense that the stress caused Hermione to miscarry during her fifth month. After the loss of her baby, she didn't care if she ever saw Ron again. So they both avoided each other and moved out of their shared flat.

Hermione's depression over the loss of her baby and her relationship with Ron began to spiral out of control. It was when she was at her lowest point that her co-worker and friend Draco decided to take drastic measures to bring Hermione and his father out of their respective darknesses.

If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine

Hermione and Lucius became infatuated with each other. They couldn't put a label to what their relationship was. All they honestly knew was that they cared for one another in a way they never had for anyone else before. They wanted to put into words how they felt, but they believed that the moment their sentiments were spoken aloud, the deities above would intervene in a cold and calculating way.

So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain

They were afraid. Well and truly afraid. So they held back on the proclamations of their mutual love.

Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

"If only I hadn't been so stubborn" Hermione thought angrily as she reflected on the past. "Then my love would be here with me, body and soul, instead of rotting in the ground. I would be warm in his arms, safe in his bed instead of walking alone in this unbearable November rain."

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

"I need sometime by myself Lucius."

"Is it something I have done Hermione? Is there a particular reason why you are leaving me?"

"Oh Lucius! It's nothing like that. I'm not leaving you. NEVER! I just need sometime alone to sort out some difficulties with my Gryffindor friends. Is that alright with you?"

"Of course. How foolish of me to assume. We all need some time on our own to reflect and work through things. Take all the time you need and let me know if you desire my input."

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you

Hermione had listened to her so called friends rant and rave at her when she told Harry and the Weasleys that she was dating and living with Lucius.

"Are you out of your bloody mind Hermione?" Harry raged at her. "It couldn't have been worse if you had told us you brought Snape back from the dead so you could shag the greasy git. This is the worst kind of betrayal. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive you for it. If you continue your relationship, if you can call it that, with him then our friendship is over. He has done entirely too many awful and deceitful things for me to get past" Harry said pointedly as the Weasley clan all nodded in agreement.

But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Their harsh words broke her heart. But she refused to allow those narrow-minded simpletons to dictate her life. She knew it would take time for her to move on from the hurt, but with Lucius by her side she had no fears.

Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

"I have something I need to tell you pet. But I am uncertain how to say it without making you cry. So I need a little time to myself to work out how to say what I need to say. Please tell me you understand?" Lucius told her on a cold morning in early November.

"Of course I understand your need for solitude to collect your thoughts. You extended me that courtesy so I would feel horrible if I didn't reciprocate the gesture. All I ask is that you keep in mind that no matter what happens...I love you Lucius Malfoy" she proclaimed before she kissed him and left the bedroom.

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh

After a long week of reflection, Lucius approached Hermione on bended knee, ring extended, and asked her to be his wife while he declared his love for her.

"I was so worried Lucius" she said shakily as he placed the engagement ring on her finger. She noticed the pensive look in his eye and asked "Is there something else you need to tell me?"

"No. Nothing that can't wait another day" he said before he kissed her and pulled her towards their bedroom for an impromptu celebration.

I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame

A week later, Lucius broke to Hermione the news that he had been agonizing over for weeks. He took her hand in his as they sat on the sofa in his study. "I'm dying Hermione. I have been to healers all over Great Britain and the continent and no one can explain my illness. All that is known is that is some extremely rare and dark curse that has lay dormant for years. For reasons they can't understand or explain, it has activated and is causing me to very slowly deteriorate away from the inside out."

"Oh gods Lucius! How? Why?" Hermione sobbed.

"I don't know how or why. It's possible that the curse was somehow connected to my dark mark and it activated when the Dark Lord took my mark with him at his death. What I do know is that I love you still, regardless of our new circumstances. My healers have told me I have approximately a year, give or take. I want to spend as much time with you as possible before the end. Please?" Lucius practically begged of her.

"Of course! You know I could never deny you anything Lucius. Whatever you want or need from me, just ask" she told him as she continued to sob into his shoulder.

So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way

Even though they had a finite amount of time left to be together, they lived like they hadn't a care in the world. They wanted to fill their days, weeks, months with enough love and happiness to last two lifetimes.

One brisk October morning, Hermione awoke to find that Lucius hadn't moved since he fell asleep after their gentle lovemaking the night before. When she realized he would never awaken, she cried. She cried in sorrow for the love she had just lost.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she grabbed her wand, whispered the pregnancy detection charm and cried once more. This time in joy as her stomach glowed a deep blue. She sobbed at the realization that she and Lucius had created a new life on the last night of his.

She buried him in a quiet ceremony two days later with only Draco by her side.

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Six weeks after his funeral, Hermione found herself drawn to his grave in spite of the pouring rain of the cold November.

When she bent down to kiss his name on the stone marker, she then knew she would be okay. Yes she had loved, lost, loved again, and lost once more, but those experiences made her a stronger woman. She knew her mourning, much like the rain, wouldn't last forever and she would learn to love again. She placed a hand on her slightly swollen belly, whispered her love and thanks to Lucius for the new life he gave her, and disapparated away.

November Rain by Guns -n- Roses

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine

So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own

Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame

So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one