A/N: All because Jericho didn't wear pants. And I think I'm getting an obsession with Lance Cade. Yesterday, there was some guy mowing the lawn on a tractor and he looked just like Lance Cade. I actually yelled out the window, "LANCE CADE IS THAT YOU?"
And because I miss Randy Orton :(
"I know you're sad that Randy Orton got in a car accident, Chris, but do you really need to keep up with the trunks? You aren't original anymore!" Lance sighed.
"Lance Cade, this defying that you like to do so much is really getting on the nerves of the Messiah of the Sparkle. Do you remember what you used to be before you joined me?" Jericho asked.
"I was a cowboy," Lance said, looking down at the ground and shuffling his feet.
"Yes, you were a Big and Rich wannabe that was stuck with a singing cowboy that liked Clay Aiken a bit too much, if you know what I'm saying," Chris said, now using animated arm movement to express his point.
Lance guessed he must still be watching the Olympics.
"Trevor wasn't that bad," Lance said.
"Then why did you turn on Trevor Murdoch? Why did you defy Trevor Murdoch? But I know that you will never defy Chris Jericho like that. Do you know how I know?"
"How do you know, Chris?" Lance really wanted to make a smart ass comment, but he could only handle so much backtalk about glitter a day.
"Because, I just do."
Lance nodded at Chris. What kind of an answer was that?
"Stand with me, Lance Cade," Jericho commanded, calling Lance over to him in front of the full length mirror.
Lance obliged. He secretly wondered if he would shower him with glitter and then command him to take another shower using glittery shampoo.
"Look at us, Lance Cade. Remember what you used to be. Look at yourself now. I refined you into a GQ man. I went from a crazy rock god to an even better god. Y2J is dead. The Messiah of the Sparkle is just being born." Chris started to crack his knuckles.
"Chris, you're scaring me."
"Good, Lance Cade, good. Sparkles should scare everyone. Randy Orton wasn't wearing a sparkly helmet, and look what happened to him."
"Chris, I really don't think you should blame a vehicular accident on a helmet."
"Maybe if he wore some sparkles, other motor vehicular drivers would have seen him and he wouldn't have flown 300 feet!" Chris yelled, stomping his foot with the last word.
"You really miss him, don't you?" Lance asked with sympathy.
"I think we should visit him. I can sign his cast and make it sparkly."
"Somehow, I don't think that's going to help him get well sooner."