X-Files Series


"Hello my name is Mulder." Mulder spoke to the camera, "I've been on the X-Files for over nine years. My sister had been abducted, my father was killed and my mother died… I'm the only Mulder left. I can win this thing because I have the highest IQ. Plus, I have a degree in psychology."

"I'm Dana Scully." Scully said, "I too have lost a sister and a father. I'm a medical doctor and now a lecturer at the FBI. I can win this, because I to am smart."

"My name is George Myers." Myers said, "I do several things around the FBI but my favorite is trying to court Agent…" Thinks for awhile, "Harp or Scully… Harp or Scully… Scully or Harp."

"I'm Agent Michelle Harp. I say that my job at the FBI is gathering Intel and doing background checks." Harp said, "Others might call it gossiping, but I call it Intel gathering."

"I'm Alex Krychek." Alex said, "I killed Mulder's father, Scully's sister and to answer your question… Mulder looks great in red speedos. No I don't think my fake arm will prevent me from winning."

"I'm Craig Taylor." Taylor said, "In fact I'm not sure what I'm doing here… How's it going Krychek? Good to see you again."

"I'm Agent Doggett." Doggett said, "I have lost a son as well. But don't go there. Don't even ask."

"I'm Monica Reyes." Monica said, "I believe in psychic ability, I know what people say about that. Also I love whale songs."

"Dean Fuller here." Fuller said, "Let's go down to the studio he said. Let's watch Mulder make a fool out himself he said. Let's have a few laughs he said. How do I keep letting myself get roped into these things? Damn you George."

A man sits half in the dark and all is seen is him puffing on a cigarette. He throws it to the ground, stubs it out with his foot and walks off.


"Welcome to the Weakest Link." Anne Droidson said, "I ask you questions, for each one you get right the amount increases but if you get a question wrong the amount reverts back to zero. At the beginning of each question you'll be given an opportunity to bank the accumulative amount. That money will be safe but the chain will be broken and the tally will revert back to zero."

Everybody stood at the ready in anticipation for the first round of questions. Mulder looked the jitterier since he was first in the firing line.

"Mulder…" Anne said, "The time-travelling car in Back To The Future was called?"

"Delorean!" Mulder jumped up and down.

"Correct." Anne said, "Dana… When a patient dies, what beginning with R sets in?"

"Rigormortis." Scully answered.

"Correct." Anne said, "This director reached fame for being the worse film director ever."

"Scully…" Myers said, "Harp… No wait, Scully."

"Incorrect!" Anne replied, "It was Edwood D Wood Jr. Harp, when someone hears something and repeats it but with some differences… What is this called?"

"Chinese Whispers." Harp jumped up and down, "I got it right."

"Correct." Anne said, "Alex… In the event of something happening to the government, there's another government set up to take control… What government is this known as?"

"I can't tell you that." Krychek leaned forward a bit.

"Incorrect!" Anne said.

"Like hell it is." Krychek said directly.

"The answer is Shadow Government." Anne ignored Krychek, "Taylor… The fear of spiders is referred to as?"

Taylor's body began trembling, "A-a-a-a Arachnophobia?" Doggett began chuckling to himself and in response Taylor kicked Doggett in the shin.

"Get your emotions under control Taylor." Krychek said to him.

"Correct!" Anne said, "Doggett… The alert given when a child is reported missing is known as a what colored alert?"

"This is damn ridiculous." Doggett spat out, "Amber alert."

"Correct!" Anne replied, "Monica Reyes…"

"Green." Monica said.

"Correct! Dean Fuller… Abbott and who was the famous comedy duo famous for their Who's on First?"

"Costello." Fuller answered.

"Correct!" Anne said, "CSM, Cancer Man whatever? In Roswell New Mexico 1947 the town's people thought that a what crashed there?"

CSM stood there in silence while puffing on his cigarette, "Just answer the question." Fuller said… For his trouble, CSM deliberately gave him a face-full of smoke and Fuller began coughing and the smoke was making him giddy. He turned around and vomited to his left.

"That's my good pants." CSM scowled at Fuller.

"Incorrect!" Anne said, "It was believed to be a UFO. Mulder… According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy what is the answer to the universe."

"Umm… Umm." Mulder thought to himself, "42." He cheered himself.

"Correct!" Anne said, "Scully… What percentage of water makes up the human body?"

"Seventy five percent." Scully answered.

"Correct! Myers… A stringed musical instrument that's almost shaped like a heart is called?"

"Harp." Myers sighed lovingly, "Or Scully."

"Correct!" Anne said.

"What was the question?" Myers asked.


"Bank bank bank." Harp jumped up and down.

"What is the name given to a person who believes that they're a werewolf?" Anne continued the question.

"Fucking crazy." Harp said.

"Damn straight." Doggett commented.

"Incorrect! Clinical Lycanthropy." Anne corrected, "Krychek… A famous horror author is Stephen who?"

"Who cares?" Krychek said, "There's a lot more to life than reading."

"Incorrect!" Anne said, "Stephen King. Taylor… An old B-grade horror movie involving spiders hitching on a small plane to a small town was called what Cargo?"

"Lay off the bloody Spiders!" Taylor shouted.

"Keep your emotions in check." Krychek said.

"Listen to the rat." Doggett said.

"Incorrect! Deadly Cargo" Anne said, "Doggett… In 1984 a movie was brought out about someone killing kids while they were dreaming. He was freddy…"

Doggett's eyes flared up in quiet anger. To prod him to answer the question, Taylor stepped on Doggett's toes as hard as he could, "Ouch!" Doggett called out.

"Incorrect!" Anne said, "Freddy Krueger… Monica…"

"Dolphins!" Monica exclaimed with passion.

"Incorrect! The answer was whales."

"I like whales." Monica commented.

"Fuller… What element does the chemical symbol Po. Capital P little o. stand for?"

Fuller copped another face full of cigarette smoke and he began a coughing fit, "Shit." Fuller said in between coughs.

"Incorrect!" Anne said, "Polonium."

"I'm hungry." Monica said.

"She said Polonium." Mulder said shaking his head, "Not polony."

"Tomayto, Tomarto." Monica said.

"You don't want to start eating Polonium Monica." Scully said.

"Would you lot concentrate on the game!" Anne ordered, "CSM…" CSM just stood there continuously blowing smoke in Fuller's direction, "Do you ever stop smoking?" She asked him.

"No." CSM answered.

"Correct!" Just then the buzzer sounded signaling the end of the round, "Tsk Tsk." Anne said, "Two thousand dollars. Is that the best you can do? God I hope not. It's time to vote off the weakest link." She waited until all the contestants wrote on their cards, "Now reveal who you voted for and why." Anne said.

Mulder held up his card, "I voted for CSM." He said, "I can smell that foul stench of tobacco from here."

"I voted for CSM to." Scully said, "His smoking stunts my growth."

"I voted for Mulder." Myers said, "He's my only competition."

"I voted for George." Harp said, "I think he's making me feel uncomfortable."

"I voted for Cancer Man." Krychek said, "I don't like him."

"I voted for John Doggett." Taylor said, "Because he's an asshole."

"I voted for Agent Taylor." Doggett said, "Because he's an idiot."

"I vote for CSM." Monica said, "He's going to be the next one out."

Dean Fuller held up his card to reveal his name on it, "I vote for myself." He said, "Because I really want out of this hellhole that George dragged me into."

"You can't vote yourself off." Anne said, "So your vote is null and void." CSM held his card up to reveal Fuller then put it down, "With the most votes CSM… According to the team… You are the weakest link… Goodbye."

CSM took the walk of shame calmly and talked to the camera back in the room, "It's easy to see why they voted me off." CSM said into the camera, "They were all intimidated by my presence." He thought for a moment, "Actually I don't like this segment… Give me the tape." This was met with silence, "DO YOU HAVE THE DAMN TAPE?!"