AUGUST 2008

Song: "Hello Alone" Anberlin

The professor introduced the class: 19th Century Russian Literature. One class I hadn't taken, but I had read all the books, well, I had been alive when they were written. This was going to be interesting. After the silly introductions of names and majors, there was only me and one girl who weren't Russian majors. She was a journalism major, her name was Bridgette and she sat right in front of me.

When is my next class again? 12:20? Yeah 12:20 until 2:30. Then drive like a maniac to work for a few hours. Good thing they are letting me stay until 5:30. It gives me another hour or two of pay a week. I need that.

She thought like a normal college student.

The professor began discussing what the class would consist of and what would be required of us. The basics. I blocked out all the thoughts that were coming to me. Very similar to Bridgette's. Sometimes it was so annoying being able to read minds.

He is so cute. The girl next to me squealed in her mind. Pre-med too. Marry a doctor then get a pool boy. She sighed. Ugh. This was going to be a good class. The professor gave us an assignment for Thursday then dismissed us. Thank God.

Students around me quickly packed all their stuff away. Some debating whether to talk to the professor or not. Some rushing their schedule through their minds.

"Bridgette?" The professor asked. Bridgette's head shot up. This was interesting. I listened to the professor's thoughts and realized she was just wondering if Bridgette had been in her class before. I left quickly and went to my next class, Biology 101, at least the Russian Lit class wasn't going to be as boring as this.

After my third class of the day I went home. I greeted my family: Alice and Jasper were in the living room reading, Carlisle was still at work and Esme was cleaning. I caught a glimpse of Emmett's thoughts and didn't want to know where he and Rosalie were.

I saw myself in a mirror and noticed how black my eyes were. I decided I needed to go hunting tonight and planned to ask Jasper later. I walked up to my room and turned on my stereo and got lost in Debussy. After I finished the CD, my throat was aching and dry.

"Hey Jasper, do you want to go hunting?" I asked without moving. He would hear no matter where in the house I was. Sometimes that was a good thing about being a vampire.

"Sure." I met him downstairs a second later and after he said goodbye to Alice we ran into the forest. I got two deer and a wolf. Nothing too big. Jasper was still thirsty though. We were only out for a few hours. I wish it would have taken longer. All my siblings had a significant other to spend time with. I was alone. But I liked it that way. It was easier to get lost in my own thoughts without other people around.

But it worried my family. They all had mates and thought I should too. Especially Alice and Esme. Esme was worried Carlisle might have changed me too young, before I could develop the need for a companion.

I had my family and all I would ever need in them. I was content with my life. Well, it wasn't necessarily living. We were vampires. We drank blood. We were supposed to drink human blood. Carlisle was the one who had discovered how to sustain his life on animal blood.

I didn't want to be a monster. And this was a monstrous life. Carlisle and I had many debates on this topic. I believed we were soulless creatures damned to this life. He believed it was just another chance to live. Always the optimist.

We got back to the house and I ran up to Carlisle's room. I hadn't talked to him yet today.

Sit down Edward. He thought as I walked into his office. How was your second day of classes?

"Good. The math class might actually be interesting."

What are you taking this time?

"Calculus three. It is the highest offered."

Anything new.

"Not really."

You are pre-med again right?

"Yes. I keep thinking there will be something new, but there never is." Carlisle laughed gently. "I am taking a Russian lit class that I have never taken before."

Russian? A specific century?

"19th."

He laughed again. You were alive when they were all written.

"I haven't read the Pushkin book yet."

'Prose or poetry?'

"Both. But the professor gushed about the poetry. It sounded pretty lovey dovey."

Maybe he will learn something from it. It was Alice. She wanted me to find a partner just like she had. He needs someone. It's not right that he is by himself all the time. How can he feel complete? If I didn't have Jasper…I blocked out her thoughts of her and her love.

Alice or Esme? Carlisle asked.

"Alice." Carlisle got up from his desk and went to a shelf of books. He quickly found what he wanted and sat back down on the other side of the desk.

"Here take this copy. Impress a girl in class with an original." He smiled sarcastically, knowing everyone in the house could hear.

"I don't know how many people are still interested in some of these books." I took the book. "Better get started." I sighed and left with the hefty volume.

I glanced at the syllabus and we weren't going to start on Pushkin until next week. I lay on my couch and opened the book. I didn't have anything better to do tonight, plus it was a good distraction from what my family would probably be doing tonight. Couples.

My two Wednesday classes went by even faster than Tuesday. I only had Biology lab and my calculus recitation. These were the times I really wished I could actually sleep.

I finished the book of Pushkin poetry Carlisle had given me that night. It wasn't bad. A few stuck out. He was definitely good at portraying emotion.