Yes, my title is absurd and has nothing to do with the story. You got a problem with that?

Sharpay lived her life in sorrow after a science geek married the love of her life. She had nothing to do, and survived only because she lived with her successful brother Ryan. He had developed into a huge Broadway star, and married his high-school girlfriend, Martha. One day, Ryan kicked her out of the house. She searched desperately for a way to win Troy's heart. She could do what she did many summers ago. Yes, that plan would have worked if it weren't for those lousy dance numbers, Gotta Go My Own Way and Bet On It. "But can I remember the words to the song we sang? "na na na na na na na na na na na,

You peeling mucas with,

na na na na na na na na na na na,

You pee on mentos with,

are the purple in,

You scarf down pudding on Thanksgiving,

That's my pudding!

And when I dream I sleep in my bed,

I like pillows!

Nope, can't remember the words. Maybe that fortune teller will help me."

Sharpay walked up to an ugly old lady with a bunch of warts and asked her to help her marry Troy.

So, this wart lady sent her back in time to right before Troy and Gabriella first sang together. Sharpay got on stage and sang with him instead. So, when she got to her time, she found out that she was Mrs. Bolton, the millionaire.

Then, she caught this terrible disease that Gabriella would have caught, but Sharpay had to listen to the wart lady. (A word of advice: Don't listen to wart ladies. And get me a soda. NOW!)

Sharpay lay on her deathbed, worrying that she would die with a big zit on her nose. Then Fred Fred Burger came in, and Sharpay knew that she must have been hallucinating, but she listened to him anyway. "You will die in seconds. Is there anything you want before you die?"

"Yes. I want fabulu- uhhhhhh..." then, she died.