Title: Reaction Time
Author: Neko-Jin of the Stars [Neko Condemned]
Summary: It's Shinra, and it's boring, of course someone has to intervene. Queue Reno self proclaimed Master of Disaster!
Warnings: Some bad language [mainly on Reno's part] , violence in some chapters and a lot Reno bashing. gradual RxT, and an obscene amount of stupid pranks.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from any of the Final Fantasies. Unfortunately
[I own my fantasies, but those are completely different! And quite possibly X-rated!]
Towering well above the ignorant masses, Reno grimaced and smeared a shaking, soaking hand across his rain drenched face. The futility of this small gesture was not lost on the morose Turk as his hand reclaimed its correct purchase on the gun, the rain still pouring down around him. Shifting restlessly he tried desperately to think of something that might lift his depressingly low spirits. He'd already tried mentally pasting Tseng's face onto every possible target. Obviously this plan of action had to be quickly discarded when the rising flush in his face began to spread to . . . . lower regions. Groaning, the red head arched his back whilst lying flat on his stomach, pushing his knees harder against the sodden stone floor.
Trigger finger itching, Reno just knew this wouldn't end well if he didn't get to shoot something soon. After another half an hour of unrelenting concentration, just as he was getting into the swing of things, a familiar vibrating in his pants pocket dragged him back out of his reverie.
"The hell is it now yo?" He snapped.
"Just checkin up on ya buddy." Rude replied, not in the least offended by his counterparts sudden onslaught of bitchiness.
"Aw shit man, sorry! Didn't mean to bite your head off yo it's just, it's been a really long day…." He trailed.
"Well, I thought this might….lift your spirits…..shall we say. Why don't you use that super scope I know you 'borrowed' from the company, and just attach it to your sniper. You done that?"
"Errr, yeah. Rude what the hell are you-"
"Right, now turn to the south facing side of the building and stare directly ahead of you. You should be looking directly at a restaurant called La Doré Chocobo."
"Yeah, ima lookin at it…." Reno fumbled the gun a little at the almost girlish giggle emanating from Rude's end of the line. This was getting…….Odd.
"Look at the third floor, through the furthest eastern window and just you tell me what you see." Rude ended in typically cryptic fashion. Sighing, Reno raised his gaze silently revelling in this newest of distractions.
The he saw it. His worst nightmare confirmed.
And then he actually dropped the gun.
"Shitshitshitshitshit RUDE I FRICKIN' HIT SOMEONE!" The red head screamed down the phone, already disassembling the gun and forcing it roughly back into it's case. "THE WRONG SOMEONE! PART OF A GANG SOMEONE!" He added quickly for emphasis.
"Reno calm down…..Just take deep breaths and try to get out of that building as quickly as po-"
Bullets cut short his words and Rude knew instantly that Reno was in serious trouble. Knuckles whitening as his fist clenched the handset, he listened intently to the tinny shrieks and crackling cries of terror and despite the static Rude knew none of them belonged to Reno.
"Reno, Reno answer me! Say something, I can't tell whether you're dead or al-"
"DIE MOTHER LICKERS!!!"
The line went dead.
About to place his phone back in his pocket, Rude paused, thanked his occasional flash of foresight and began to dial a number.
"Hey. Is this the clean up crew?"
Slinging the empty case over his back Reno gathered the newly re-assembled sniper rifle in both arms and descended the spiral stairs three at a time, ignoring the twinge in his ankle when he landed on it awkwardly. Grinning through the pain he raised the weapon to eye level choosing to ignore the scope in favour of his own lenses. He heard the rest of the oncoming gang well before they were even aware what they were up against. They thought he was just a twat taking pot shots from the Church bell tower.
Well. They were half right weren't they.
Lifting the gun he pulled hard on the trigger and shot the unsuspecting, gun wielding stranger straight in the face. Not bothering to hide his unbridled joy he leapt over the still falling body, continued charging down the stairs and took out another hit in one swift, fluid motion. Flying down the stairs, hands a blur, he competently reloaded his gun, targeted his next victim and burst through the church doors not once faltering as he took the shot. Wiping a spatter of blood from his luminescent skin, he glanced at the carnage by his feet and smiled as the rain washed it nearly all away. For a second, he almost lost himself in the swirls of claret, when just in time a poorly aimed pistol whip at his face yanked him out of his trance. Blowing the mans brains all over the pavement Reno slung the rifle over his shoulder and side stepped over the bloodbath.
Peeling off his sodden jacket he felt the skin drying on his bones as the rain eased off and disappeared. Glancing at the sky and the steady stream of scarlet flowing freely from the chapel doors, Reno just knew today could only get better.
And then the cleanup crew arrived.
And he almost felt disappointed that they were erasing his hard days work.
Then he remembered the gun on his back, and realised he didn't have to stop working if he didn't feel like it.
Today, Reno was putting in overtime.
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Neko-Condemned: :O Oh my. Trusting Reno with a gun was never the smartest plan of the century was it now?
R n' R please, I like hearing your feedback :3