In case the description didn't sum it up. The problem is a rock band. You get to fill in which band they are.
Xemnas sighed to himself. "I sent you two to Hollow Bastion to kill heartless."
Axel and Roxas lowered their heads solemnly. They were standing in a puddle of failure in front of Xemnas' desk.
"And you claim that you failed because...?"
They were silent.
"Please, humor me. Just repeat for the record, why it is that you failed."
Roxas gulped, then muttered something under his breath so low that it wasn't comprehendible.
Roxas mumbled again, louder, but too fast. Xemnas leaned forward over his desk
"One more time."
"We got... served..."
Xemnas sat completely motionless in his chair while he took it in. His gaze wandered around his "office" for a while as he tried to make sense of what they were telling him. Finally he refocused his attention on them.
They both jumped.
"Define 'served!'" He pointed at Roxas as he said it.
"We... uh... we we're gonna... uh... but then these guys were like... Axel should tell you."
Roxas lowered his gaze to the floor again, then nudged Axel with his elbow. Axel sighed, then said, "alright."
"Alright, Roxas. Our orders are to go to the Heartless castle in the area and clear the place out."
"I know you know. I'm just doing a refresher."
"To keep our memories refreshed."
"But we're nobodies. We don't forget things."
"Do you remember what a dykphore is?"
Roxas thought for a moment. "N-no. What is a dykphore?"
"That's what she said."
Roxas sighed, then glanced around the market they were in. A woman in all black clothing was wandering around looking for someone near them, while shopkeepers bought and sold goods. He looked back at Axel.
"Okay... where is the heartless castle?"
Axel pulled the town map from a pocket in his robe. "I guess it's outta' town. Over there, past the valley.
"Let's go, then."
They stepped through a portal to The Great Divide. Roxas looked both directions, then mumbled, "I don't see a castle here." He shot an unimpressed glance at Axel. "Did you read the map correctly?"
"We've gotta go farthe... who are these clowns?"
Roxas followed his gaze. Only a moment before, the valley had been empty. Now, about a hundred feet away from them, was an entire rock band. Roxas' eyebrows raised slightly.
Axel's jaw dropped.
"It couldn't be."
"There's no way," Roxas agreed.
"Besides, what would they be doing here?"
"They wouldn't be here," Roxas responded.
"Go ask them."
"You ask 'em."
Axel pushed Roxas forward. He resisted at first, until Axel pulled rank.
"Do it! That's an order."
Roxas glared at him for a moment, then approached the band, who readied their instruments, except for the lead singer/guitarist, who was empty handed. When Roxas was half-way, and about to open his mouth. The lead singer held up a hand. In a voice that crawled from the deepest pit of hell for the sole purpose of all out, badass, face-melting, utter Rawking, he said,
"You shall not pass."
Roxas, unsure what to do, looked back at Axel. Axel flicked his hand at him, urging him onward.
"Are you guys-?"
"You shall not pass."
Roxas walked back to Axel.
"What did he say?"
"He said he won't let us pass."
"But is it really them?"
"I think so."
Axel stretched his back. "Who would've thought we'd ever get to meet the greatest rock band in the history of the whole galaxy?"
Roxas sighed. "They're impeding our mission. We have to fight them."
"We have to complete the mission."
"Oh. Yeah... Hey! I've got an idea. Why don't we challenge them to a rock off first?"
Roxas removed the hood of his cloak. "Could you say that again? I think I miss-heard you."
Axel socked him on the arm. "Whatever. Check this out."
They turned to face the band, and discovered that the lead singer was already standing next to them. They both jumped.
"We aksept." Roxas and Axel gaped in awe at his ability to make it seem like such a hard "k" sound rather than "cc".
The awe came with an immediate sense of regret that clawed away at their empty insides. The lead singer reached a hand toward the heavens and waited. Roxas and Axel waited as well, fearfully. Very slowly, they became aware of a growing noise in the distance. It seemed at first to be coming from the band, but soon reverberated throughout the entire canyon, shaking the ground, rocking the mountains, and pummeling their eardrums. It was the sound of amplifiers... idling. Then, far away, a flash on the horizon. Roxas glanced at the sky, and blinked when a raindrop hit his face.
"Wasn't it sunny just a moment ago?"
Axel looked up at the now pitch black, rain-filled sky. "Yeah."
He looked back at the lead singer, who was still reaching his hand to the heavens.
"Can we surrender now?"
Roxas nudged Axel and muttered, "get real! We've got a mission to comp-"
A lightning bolt struck the lead singer's hand, causing a three-necked guitar to materialize.
Axel and Roxas grabbed each other for support.
In Xemnas office
"Long story short, he won the challenge."
Xemnas sighed. Then stared blankly at them for a long moment.
"Did it occur to you to fight him?"
Roxas held up a hand. "Actually we di-" Axel jabbed him with an elbow.
"-didn't. No, you're right we should've."
Xemnas glanced between them, then snapped a finger. Xigbar appeared beside him. "Yes, superior?"
Axel repeated his story. Xigbar shrugged.
"It sounds to me like he got served."
Xemnas glared at Xigbar, who continued talking. "Yeah. Wow. I guess the only way to get past them would be to out-rock them, but without instruments they were defenseless."
They all thought for half-a-second.
"I'll call a meeting."
In the meeting hall
The organization sat, fully arrayed, in their respective chairs, all with their hoods on.
"Axel." Xemnas gestured at him.
Axel repeated his story again. When he was done, Xemnas spoke up.
"Am I the only one here who finds this ridiculous?"
The room fell silent; especially Demyx.
"Kingdom Hearts..." Xemnas sighed incredulously.
Xaldin spoke up. "It does sound like the got served pretty hard."
The rest of the members nodded; all but Demyx.
"I even feel a little sorry for the twerps."
Xemnas shot Larxene a surprised glance. They were all serious. They all thought that getting "served" was a valid excuse. As if dignity had anything to do with victory. He thought to himself for a long while, before speaking again. "Very well then. It would appear to be that we have to resolve the problem using different elements."
Everyone nodded except for Demyx, whose hood seemed especially low.
Saix chimed in. "We should present someone who can compete musically on their level."
All eyes landed on Demyx, who was completely still.
"Well, Demyx?" Xemnas glared at him.
Demyx said nothing.
"Do you have any input to this conversation at all?"
Demyx fell over onto his side, causing his hood to fall open and revealing that his cloak was being held up by a stick. He already knew how the meeting would end.
Xemnas sighed. "Find him. Meeting adjourned."
Two Hours later
Demyx ran. He ran as hard as he could. He ran as hard as he could in nothing but his boxer shorts through the streets that never were until he reached the Memories Skyscraper. He tried opening the door. It wouldn't budge. He jerked it as hard as he could to no avail.
"What to do? Man! I can't let them send me up against them! I'm the wrong guy to send. Portals!"
He portaled to the interior of the building. The entire floor, from what he could tell, was an administrative office. He began running throughout the building, looking for the perfect place to hide. He tried the elevator, but it didn't seem right. He crawled under tables, put trash cans over his head, and generally found himself dissappointed, confused, and crazy-looking, but not well-hidden. He seemed to be the only person here, yet couldn't feel safe. It was maddening. It was so maddening that he found himself simply running as fast as he could through every floor, hoping to suddenly spot a place in the corner of his eyes that he could stop and become invisible inside; a perfect hiding place. He rounded a cubicle and flew into an unexpected other person. They both fell to the floor, scattering books in all directions. All Demyx saw of the other man was a cane. He began profusely apologizing as he helped him to his feet.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! I'm running from... wait a second."
The man he had bumped into was wearing blue jeans, a red and white stripped sweater, a red and white striped beanie, and glasses. He hurriedly picked up the books he had dropped.
"Don't I know you from somewhere?"
"No." The man gathered all his books in one hand, grabbed his cane with the other, and sprinted around the corner.
"Oh... WAIT!Yes I-"
Demyx stepped around the corner and saw that the man had disappeared.
He looked back at the ground. There was a single book lying there that the man had forgotten.
"I should have gotten a hiding tip from him."
Demyx looked behind himself to see the entire organization giving him a disapproving stare. Larxene was giggling.
Xemnas threw him his cloak. "Come. We're all going together."
In the Great Divide
The organization appeared from portals of darkness, then glanced about themselves. There was a single child in the canyon with them, playing an air guitar. Xemnas glared at Axel, his eyes bulging like it was a Yen Sid look-alike competition. He broke his gaze and approached the child. He stepped in the kid's way, calling his attention.
"Who are you?"
The child looked him in the eyes for a moment, then exploded, scattering his flesh across them all.
Where he had been standing, appeared the lead guitarist of the most HardKore band ever. The organization was paralyzed with a mixture of fear, awe, and "omigodthatkidjusteploded" written on their faces.
"I am the master of Rawk."
Xemnas didn't argue. "Do you think... maybe... we could... um... go over... there?" He pointed at the heartless castle. "I mean... if that's... ok-"
"You shall not pass."
Xemnas took a cautious step backward, then another, then another until he was back with the group. "Demyx, you're on."
Demyx didn't move. Xemnas pushed him toward the lead guitarist, who made a rising motion with his hand. Dust swirled behind him and formed itself into the rest of his band, who were wielding instruments made of fire. Demyx summoned his Sitar, and tried to smile sheepishly. It came out as a cringe.
"Do you dare to challenge us?"
"Well... I mean... it's not personal. I'm a big fan of you guys and-"
"Then we will drinK your blood as a toast to a more worthy enemy. What do you wager?"
"Uh... if I win... I get to... uh... go over there."
Larxene shouted from the group, "autographs!"
"All of us get to pass through the canyon, and I want autographs for all of us. And... uh..."
"Full-access passes for the next tour!"
"Yeah! That too."
The band members all nodded.
"The deal is fair. If we win..."
He turned to the rest of the band, who murmured amongst themselves. When they were done, he returned his gaze.
"If we win, you will bring us an OrichalKum-plus Shrubbery." The organization gasped.
"What?! Where are we going to get an Orichalcum-plus Shrubbery?!"
"Further more, it must be stained with the blood of ten-thousand Nobodies, and be equipped with treads so we can ride it around. We're trying to one-up the Nights Who Say Nee. Some pyroteKniKs would be Kool too."
"B-but... Nobodies don't bleed."
"We'll see about that."
Demyx looked back at Xemnas, who gave a thumbs-up. He turned back to the enemy band.
"Deal. Let the Karnage begin!"
Poor Demyx. :)
Next chapter coming eventually. I'm trying to think up dialog that has lots of letters I can replace with K.