Okay...this is pretty new for me, it's inspired by an awesome friend, Courts 'cos she can damn write anything, and by the fabulous Song Mountains By Biffy Clyro.

Warning: Angst, tearjerky I guess, violence and they're in a pretty deep dark place here in season 3, swears...

Disclaimer: nahh I do not own em...as long as I have breath in my lungs and a beat to my heart I'll only ever obsess over them...sigh.

Summary: Sam can't handle Dean going to hell for him, Dean can't handle someone who actually cares...Angst, Limp, drabble, fluff...song fics on each chapter, they're all a bit different, depending on the songs. Snapshots of memories for the brothers.

No spoilers, unless you count before the season 3 finale...if you haven't seen, don't read unless you want to, I'm not getting flamed!

Thanks, on with. Chapter one Mountains...

I took a bite out of a mountain range, thought my teeth would break the mountains down.

Let's go, I want to go all the way to the horizon.

" I wanna' gooooo...pleeease Deany...pretty please...why can't we just go to the fair, look at the pretty colours...and all the fun rides..."

A five year old Sam grumbled from his spot in the back of the Impala, next to Dean. Little chubby fingers smearing the glass as he pointed.

"I already told ya Sammy...dad said we couldn't leave the car, he's working and he doesn't want you to get hurt." Dean smiled down at his baby brother, clothes a little baggy and hair a shaggy curled mop.

Sam pouted his lower lip, shaking it up at his taller brother, fringe already shading his young eyes.

Dean shook his head, a sad chuckle on his lips.

"Dad's working over there, we promised to stay put. Have to do what dad says, right?"

"But...dad won't mind if we have a little fun...pleeease Dean...I promise not to get chocolate on your comic books again...I mean it." Sam's face was a picture of pleas and begs, but they didn't bounce right off the elder hunter, Dean knew of Sammy's fears and he knew their dad was afraid too, afraid because kids were being taken and around Sam's age. John had left them well within a safety circle in the Chevy, even with the brightly lit fair in view, Dean knew of the dangers. It wasn't worth it, even if Sam wanted to leave the car.

But Sammy didn't know about all the big bad scary stuff that lived in the world.

Not yet.

He was still too innocent to understand what went bump in the night, and Dean wanted it to remain that way.

"Nah Sammy, c'mon it's almost your bedtime, take a nap and when you wake up, I promise we'll go to the fair..." Dean winked and Sam's smile even at five beamed up at him.

Resting into a more comfy position, Sam laid his head on Dean's lap and closed dark brown lashes with a sleepy sigh, freckles dotted and faded around his small face.

Dean looked out into the night, wishing their dad back, wishing him safe.

I took a drink out of the ocean and I'm treading water there before I drown.

Let's dive, I want to dive to the bottom of the ocean.

Sam dreamt of sea breeze and bright coloured sand castles along an endless stretch of beach, he could feel the sun on his face, hear the splash and splosh of fish diving out of the sea, Sam giggled behind his hand as he saw birds fly above him, summer-salting in the air and ducking in and out of winding loops around each other.

They each left a wave of colour in their wake of blues and browns and Sam stared up in awe.

The sky started to dot green and spread until almost zoom-in's of Dean's eye's looked down at Sam.

"Hey kiddo' you okay there...?" Dean smiled, helping Sam sit up.

"D-ean...? Deeaan!" Sam shot up, fatigue almost vanishing as he jumped on the back seats. "CAN WE GO TO THE FAIR...PLEEEASE!" Sam jumped.

"Now Sammy...I promised we'd go to the fair...I never said this one..." Dean winked with a devilish smile and grabbed Sam by the belly, tickling him as Sam shrieked in delight.

"So...not this fair...?" Sam asked, eyes boring into Dean.

"Well...turn around and close your eye's, I'll be back in just a minute..."

When Sam heard the car door shut his tiny toddler heart leapt into his throat with a whimper.

"No...Dean..." Sam's palms faced the window as he watched Dean eaten up in a late night crowd outside the tent opening of the entrance to the fair.

Tears formed in Sam's eyes and he slumped down the window, onto the seat.

"Daddy said not to leave...but Dean's gone...Dean l-left m-me..." Sam hiccupped a sob and scrubbed small fists into his eyes when he heard the car shake and the creak of leather in the front, moving away his small hands, Sam's red-rimmed eyes opened on his dad and Dean turned to face him.

"Sammy...? you okay buddy?" John asked, frowning slightly.

Sam flicked toward Dean then his dad, tears patting onto his legs.

" I thought...you'd left me...a-a-and you'd g-g-gone..." Sam sniffed.

John's heart broke for his youngest and Dean scooched back over into the back seat with Sam.

I took a ride, I took a ride, I wouldn't go there without you.

Let's take a ride, we'll take a ride. I wouldn't leave here without you.

"I'd never leave without you Sammy...never." Dean held him close.

John leaned over and rubbed Sam's shoulder, smiling down at his youngest. "I promise Sammy, we'll never leave without you. Now let's take a ride..." He smiled.

Sam sniffed again and leant onto his brother.

John passed a large brown paper bag over to Dean, then started the engine and skidded off.

"Told you we'd go to the fair..." Dean pulled out a large bag of cotton candy and gummy worms, as well as some stuffed toys for prizes.

Sam squealed with excitement, bags crisping as the dove for the candy.

"Even if it is in the car..." John winked from the rear-view mirror.

Sam's giggle and pearly smile, candy all over his face, will never leave Dean's memory, nor will the blush to their father cheeks when he smiled...really smiled for the first time in a long time.


next chappy, new song...:D

love to know what ya think!

thank you