The time has come.
I am random. Spontaneous, perhaps.
However, dedicated I am not.
Sad to some, others not. Some are content with my carelessness for miniscule priorities.
Don't sit back and relax, the ride isn't too long.
And although I haven't mentioned the weirdness of my mood/myself, it should be obvious by my text.
Yes, why not.
Not quite a New Moon
Bella: There's ANOTHER movie about me? Do I get to act in this one?
Kristen: Uh, no. You don't get to act in any of them, idiot. I'M the actress. Even though I can't act, I'm still the actress.
Director: Let's go, Kristen! We need to finish this movie fast so Rob doesn't age too much.
-they get in position and the cameras start rolling-
Rob: I'm leaving you.
Kristen: What? Why? I just gave you my virginity!
Rob: That's not until the fourth book.
Kristen: Oh. Okay. So, wait. Why are you leaving again?
Rob: I don't want you and stuff. It's not you it's me. I don't know. Whatever will get you the hell off of me. Clingy bitch.
Kristen: Damn. Coulda just asked..JACOB!!
-Taylor Lautner shows up in a millisecond because he mysteriously happened to be running through the woods right next to them.-
Kristen: Uh...Edward left me. I'm all sad and might cut my wrists.
Taylor: Wanna borrow my razor?
Kristen: I was joking.
Taylor: I could do it for you.
Kristen: I was joking, you dumb shit. I just want to hold you so I can feel your big biceps.
Taylor: My biceps don't come until I become a werewolf.
Kristen: Oh, when's that?
Taylor: Next scene.
-Kristen stares at Taylor with her mouth open for 12 minutes.-
Taylor: Stop looking at me like that, freak. You look like a pedophile.
Kristen: I'll stop.
Taylor: You ARE a pedophile. You're eighteen. I'm sixteen.
-Kristen tries to run but fails and ends up falling 39 times. She comes home with multiple bruises and scratches all over her body.-
Charlie: Bella, what did I tell you about rough sex with vampires out in the woods?
Kristen: Vampire? What on earth are you talking about?
Charlie: Don't act like I don't know about the vampire you've been dating.
Kristen: He just broke up with me.
Charlie: Shit. That means I have to see your ugly face more often. Now go make me dinner, Oprah is coming on.
Kristen: I thought you liked to watch sports…
Charlie: Hell no, chica. Oprah is my main girl!
-Charlie snaps his wrists in a faggoty fashion and pulls out a vogue magazine.-
Kristen: I'm gonna go write fake emails to Alice even though that never happens in the book.
I don't know what to do. Every time I sleep, I make weird noises and my dad thinks I'm either constipated or having an orgasm. Know how I can get rid of it? Thanks.
Bella (It's not really Bella, it's Kristen)
Your email has been sent back to its owner, due to the non-existence of this email address, you idiot.
-at Taylor's house-
Kristen: Jake, I want to hear voices, will you help me fix these motorcycles?
Taylor: Will you pretend to like me?
Kristen: Bitch, please. I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling.
Taylor: I'm hot, alive, and unsparkling.
Kristen: I'll take it.
-Kristen and Taylor finish the bikes-
Kristen: Let's do this!
Taylor: Let's bring the bikes up by the cliff so you have more of a chance of dying.
-At the cliff.-
Kristen: How do I start it?
Taylor: I don't know. Push some buttons and turn some knobs.
-Kristen rides the motorcycle professionally.-
Rob's voice: Go faster.
Kristen: Uhh, I'm pretty sure you tell me to stop.
Rob's voice: Why would I want you to survive?
Kristen: Oh. What should I do now?
Rob's voice: Aim towards the cliff.
-Kristen is about to fly off the cliff, but the motorcycle mysteriously drifts to the side.-
Rob's voice: Shit.
-Taylor runs over to Kristen and removes his shirt in slow motion.-
Kristen: Nice 8 pack.
Jacob: Thanks, it's all I have to offer for this movie.
Kristen: All I have to offer is…is…
-Jacob coughs awkwardly and they both look off into different directions.-
Jacob: Truth hurts, bitch.
Until we meet again.
One more thing to take with you.