Never Poof Itachi into Sailor Moon
" Stupid emo brother of mine ! I hate him ! He's a nooby retard ! "
Kisame rolled his eyes as he looked at Itachi. " What are you bitching about now ? "
Itachi huffed. " It's always Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke ! Ohhh, Sasuke's parents got murdered. Sasuke left the village. Sasuke tried to kill the stupid blonde haired kid with that demon fox in him ! Sasuke nearly killed us all with the measles ! I'm sick of it ! And why should he have fangirls ?! He's emo ! "
" Dude...you're emo, too. "
" So ?! I don't have fangirls ! " Itachi spat. " And did you know that Sasuke really has blonde hair ?! Yeah. He just bleaches his hair. That's not emo at all ! "
" Gosh, why don't you just end the vendetta with your damn brother already ? ! The rest of us Akatsuki members are starting to get really ticked off ! "
" So ?! I don't care ! "
" Pein will hurt you, though... "
" Pein's an asshole. He can go to Hell. "
Kisame sweatdropped. " Man, you're such a prick at times. Why don't you go and torture another anime series ? "
" Fine, then ! I WILL ! "
Itachi looked around his surroundings. " So...I guess this is the modernized version of Japan, 'cause the Hidden Leaf Village is a dump. "
" Hey ! Are you Uchiha Itachi ?! " a voice asked.
" Yeah. "
" Holy cow ! Hi ! My name is Ami ! "
Itachi stared at the girl called Ami. She had short blue hair and blue eyes. He sweatdropped. " Hey, I know. Aren't you one of those Sailor Senshi ? "
" Yep ! I'm one of your fans ! "
" Great. My fans are nothing more than a bunch of insane f--king nerds. Whoopee. "
Ami smiled. " So...you want come with me to Usagi's house ? I have to babysit Chibiusa. "
Itachi shrugged. " Okay, but I swear to Bob that if you put me in a DiCdubbing, I will kill you. That also applies for Cloverway, too. I'm not gonna get cut scenes and dub alterations ! That's not how Naruto characters work ! "
" Nope. Rei burned down DiC and Cloverway. They actually tried to get rid of Sailor Uranus 'cause of the name. "
O.o " It's a planet, though. "
" I know. Stupid dubbers. "
The emo guy nodded. " You know what ? You're a lot more spunky than I thought. I'll go. "
" Good, 'cause you didn't have a choice, anyway. "
" So...you're Chibiusa ? " Itachi inquired.
Chibiusa nodded. " Yep. "
"...I don't like your hair. "
" Why...not ? "
" It's pink. "
" You don't like pink ? "
Itachi shook his head. " It's evil. "
The pink-haired girl smiled evilly. " Okay, then. I have a surprise for you, then. "
(Five minutes later...)
Ami opened the door and gasped. " Chibiusa ! What the heck did you do to Itachi-kun ?! "
Itachi was rocking himself back and forth as he was dressed in a fluffy pink tutu and a pink shirt. Chibiusa grinned. " I gave him pink things. "
" NO MORE BUNNIES ! NO MORE BUNNIEEEEES ! "
Ami sweatdropped. " Itachi...you okay ? "
" NO ! THAT BITCH PUT COTTON CANDY IN MY HAIR ! "
Chibiusa huffed. " Hey, this is a PG house, Uchiha ! I'm like, young ! I can't hear evil words ! "
" Whatever ! I don't care ! I'm an Akatsuki member ! "
" Really ? "
T.T " Yes, Ami. Really. "
" Cool ! I started the Sailor Moon branch of the Akatsuki ! "
The blue haired girl stripped off her normal clothing to reveal a black robe just like Itachi's. Itachi sweatdropped. " What the hell happened with you being a single insane nerd ?! "
" Loooooove ! "
" Well, who else would be in the Akatsuki in this stupid show ?! " Itachi demanded.
Ami grinned. " Rei. Seiya. That nerdy kid Umino. We're all cool. Oh, and you joined, right, Chibiusa ? "
Chibiusa nodded. " Yep. The Akatsuki is 'dawning' on a new era ! Soon, we will dominate the anime universe ! " (A/N : Akatsuki is Japanese for dawn. :D)
" Lady, that has got to be a very good pun on Japanese words. I HATE PUNS ! "
(Few days later...)
Kisame sweatdropped. " I'm guessing that Sailor Moon anime was that evil and fluffy. "
Itachi slowly nodded as he chugged out of his flask. " Yeah. They use...puns. "
" D-wow. That's horrible ! "
" I know. "
" So...you're going back to the whole vendettta-on-your-stupid-brother thing ? "
" Yeah. It's what I do best, right ? "