Mikos Wobble and They Don't Fall Down

Sometimes the miko could be quite bothersome…

Correction, Sesshoumaru mentally rectified. It is actually the miko's acquaintances who can be quite bothersome. He straightened from where he was seated on the miko's couch and scowled as he darkly added, Especially those from before this time.

Whatever further contemplations that were forthcoming were torn from him as the miko giggled and collapsed onto his lap, wrapping her arms around him and planting a rather loud smack on his cheek. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" she sang.

Sesshoumaru almost growled as she began singing that demandable Rod Stewart song that had gotten stuck in her head a few days ago. And whom did he have to think for that? None other than the very same person who had put Kagome into the state she was in at the moment.

Friends…

A few minutes later, bored of singing apparently, Kagome clamored off his lap and began playing with her dogs while he and the cat stayed seated on her couch and just watched her act like an idiot. Of course it is hard to act like anything else when one is drunk.

Kagome's childhood friend, Ayame, had come over earlier this evening. From the scents hanging in the air when he'd arrived, Sesshoumaru could tell that she had been there for some time. He learned, somehow amongst the gibberish aimed in his direction when he'd arrived, that Ayame had received a girl's night out from her husband; a chance to escape the children and have some grown-up time. And how did the woman proceed to enjoy her time away? By getting Kagome drunk off her ass—and herself as well.

Sesshoumaru had seen this Ayame to a cab, with only a slightly false promise of getting her car to her the next morning, before returning to Kagome.

Shaking his head, he caught the miko's eye. "What?" she asked blatantly.

"It is nothing," he intoned evenly.

The miko scowled at him—or tried to. "You're pissed I'm drunk."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Sesshoumaru caught himself before he fell into the game. "You will regret this in the morning."

"Maybe," she gave back in a childish voice. "Of course, if I had something to eat that was greasy before I pass out, then maybe I wouldn't regret it so very much. But I don't and it's all YOUR fault."

He had no idea what she was talking about and told her as much. Kagome placed her hands on her hips and glared down at him—not looking half as scary as she might have wished. "You," she said, enouncing each word as if it stood alone, "Ate. All. The. Cheese. Off. My. Pizza."

Sesshoumaru knew he was guilty and so held his tongue, but, of course, his miko was not finished. She raised her hand from her hip and pointed towards her cat. "And you SHARED it with Sesshoumaru!"

Automatically, he denied such blasphemy—even though it was true. He had been there. The cat had been there. And they'd both been eyeing the delicious spread of double cheese on the leftover pizza Kagome had just left on the countertop… "Never."

"I heard you," Kagome continued with an exaggerated hand-pointing movement that actually made her take a few steps to keep her balance.

"This one will order you pizza, if that is what you wish for," Sesshoumaru replied, smoothly stepping around his being caught acting in accord with his enemy, "But perhaps you should sit down before you fall down?"

Her somewhat pissed-off mood suddenly diverted—mikos were odder than normal when drunk—she gave a laugh and a spin in place. Holding out her hands as if showing an egg shaped body for herself, she giggled, "Weebles wobble and don't fall down."

What?

Once more the miko clamored into his lap, her legs caging his in—which he didn't mind at all. "You're an okay guy," she announced to him with all sincerity, "Despite your faults."

He raised an eyebrow at that. As far as he was concerned, he was perfect. "What faults do you speak of this one having?"

"Oh," Kagome replied with a simple wave of her hand, "The usually megalomaniac sword fetish I'm-Always-Right flaws. But, you know, the sex rules that entire ego out because...wow."

Feeling insulted and mollified at the same time was a weird sensation…and one Sesshoumaru vowed he would think upon at a later time. "We should go to bed."

She drew back as much as she could, a screwed up look on her face. "What?"

"I wish to take you to bed."

"So you can take advantage of me!" she miko quickly assumed.

"Never," Sesshoumaru growled, in all seriousness. The insult was unforgivable—even if his miko was intoxicated.

Almost wilting before his fury—he would never believe her capable of true wilting, drunk or not—she gave a quiet laugh. "But what if I want you to take advantage?"

His interests quickly overrode his fury.

"I would lay you down and do all manner of wicked things."

Her look turned smoldering. "Things I'm sure I would thoroughly enjoy," she replied in a voice laced with lust.

"Most definitely," he assured.

Her head gave a cock to the side, indicating he should make a move. "Then perhaps I need to be shown the bedroom?"

Eagerly, glad that his earlier thoughts on how he wouldn't be getting any because she was drunk were not coming true, Sesshoumaru stood and strode boldly back towards her bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and ignored the pleading whines of Inuyasha and Kouga. Not your night, boys…

He laid the miko down on the bed and slowly began slipping her clothing from her body as she giggled and sighed underneath his touch. The further along he moved, the harder he grew. Then, once he had the miko bared he growled. "You will be appropriately punished for your actions tonight, female."

She did nothing in response.

Sesshoumaru made a motion sure to arouse her attention….and received nothing but a grunt for his attentions.

"Miko?" he prodded, though he internally knew it was pointless.

Her answer was a grunting snore and Sesshoumaru cursed quite brilliantly. His damn female had fallen asleep.

Vowing vengeance, Sesshoumaru plotted—as he situated the miko in her bed so she wouldn't wake with muscle cramps and would be easily able to run for the bathroom—how he would make her pay for the pain he was experiencing now in the morning. Until then, though, he needed a cold, cold, cold shower.

And if that damned cat said ANYTHING about this….

The End.