A/n: This song popped in my head, literally out of nowhere. And this idea came while i started singing it. This is a crazy random, pointless story; but it made me giggle while I was writing it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Edward, Emmett, or Jasper. Also, I do not own 'Brother For Sale' that is The Olsen twins.
"Jazz, Please just once and never again."
"Emmett, never call me Jazz again and no."
"I'll do it without you."
Emmett stood next to Jasper in the Cullen living room and took a big breath.
"Well, we think this world Is a real nice place.But we think that it's a crime. That we should have an older brother."
"Actually Emmett he's my younger brother, your older."
"Don't spoil it, Jasper."
"Who picks on us all the time. So, next time he's sleeping in his room."
"He doesn't sleep Emmett."
"We're goin' to sneak in and tie him. Then we'll take him out into the street. And see if someone will buy him."
"Jasper let me sing."
"Brother for sale. Only fifty cents. Brother for sale. He's not a big expense. You can hug him."
"If you want to hug a cold piece of rock."
"You can bug him You could buy or rent. Brother for sale, Only fifty cents."
"Hey, would anybody like to buy. A slightly used big brother?"
"Younger for me." Jasper piped up.
"He's my big brother, and stop intrupting me."
"Even if you have one now. Trade him for another."
"He will help you with the chores. And he's fairly clean. The only problem is, sometimes. He can be so mean!"
"He is more sad then mean."
"JAZZ" Emmett said glaring at him.
"Sorry," he said laughing at his other younger brother.
"Brother for sale. twenty five cents. Brother for sale. He's not a big expense. You can hug him. You can bug him.You could buy or rent. Brother for sale, twenty five cents"
"If mom knew we were selling him .We would really get it."
"You are selling him, I'm not. You can face the wrath of Esme."
Emmett ignored Jasper and kept singing.
"Buy him now, don't pay 'til June On approved credit. Buy him now, and we'll tell you. What we will do, mister. We'll even throw into the deal. Our little baby sister. "
Jasper glared at Emmett.
"I don't think so Emmett, we are not giving Alice away."
"Of course not Jazz, I was talking about Bella."
Jasper smiled and joined in.
"Brother for sale. Only ten cents. Brother for sale. He's not a big expense. You can hug him. You can bug him. You could buy or rent. Brother for sale, Only ten cents."
Emmett started dancing around, and Jasper just sat on the couch, closing his lips.
"He will always pick you up. When you take a fall."
"No, he usually hits you or something and makes your fall."
"And he's good at showing you. How to catch a ball."
"Yeah, because he runs the fastest and shows off."
Emmett paused and smirked.
"He always tells these funny jokes. And does this crazy dance."
"Emmett, Edward is the least funny person I have met in my entire life and he doesn't dance."
"Hey, wait! He sounds like a pretty nice guy... Let's give him one more chance."
"Emmett, you know you weren't really selling him right."
"Our brother's not for sale. Not for any price. Our brother's not for sale. We guess he will suffice. We like to hug him."
Jasper rolled his amber eyes and looked at Emmett.
"Dude, you can hug him if you want. But I'm not. So no we."
"We like to bug him."
"Yeah playing with his emotions is kinda fun."
"He's really rather nice. Our brother's not for sale. Not for any price!"
"Whose rather nice?" Edward said walking through the front door.
"You are." Emmett said smiling.
Edward looked over to Jasper.
"Do I even want to know?"
Jasper laughed and just shook his head.