Neross: Well hello again all my dutiful followers. And how have YOU been? ....Me? How have I been? Well....let me tell you....I'VE BEEN OUT OF MY MOTHER FREAKING MIND WITH BUSINESS THAT'S HOW I'VE BEEN. I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU WORK ON THREE FANFICS, MOVE INTO A DORM ROOM, AND WORK ON FINANCIAL ISSUES ALL AT ONCE!! *pant,pant* Yeah...okay...I've been busy like hell. Feel blessed that I'm updating at all...
Warning: This chapter may contain foul language, sexual situations, violence, adult situations, a big-lipped alligator moment, and inter-species relationships....enjoy my sick little darlings.
The awkwardness that had ensued after Gaz's return stretched on for over an hour as the two boys of the circle seemed to be too nervous to actually talk and Gaz was too busy playing her gameslav to really be bothered. And then, at last, Gaz put away the gaming device and turned to staring down the boys, making them both shudder and exchange a brief look of panic and fear between themselves.
"So..." Gaz started, and that's when the madness broke loose. Broken free of the silence Dib and Zim collapsed into pleas, explanations, and blaming one another for anything and everything.
"It's not my fault Gaz. He kidnapped me honest!"
"The Dib was asking for it he was! He broke into my house!"
"I meant to call but I couldn't figure out how! And then everything was going all crazy! And Gaz! There were explosions torture!"
"And that stinking DWICKY! He's teamed up with the resisty! And they're just so STUpid!"
"And somehow me and Zim got a kid and it's not even my fault! And honestly my head's not THAT big and-"
Finally Gaz had had enough and she reached out and knocked the two Tallest's heads together before sitting there glaring at them again. "Would you two just shut up. I don't really care WHAT you've both been up to bu-....wait..." Gaz paused for a second and then turned a slightly disgusted and slightly furious glance to the two men across from her who swallowed in unison. "Did...did you say you guys have a KID? As in....as in a baby? You guys actually managed to create an offspring? How...no you know what? I don't want the details. "
Dib nervously let out a breath and leaned his forearms ontop of his knees to stare seriously at his sister. "Gaz. I hate to interrupt the whole interrogation thing, but I've got to know. Just how did you get here?"
Gaz simply rolled her eyes. "Tak's old ship. Duh. I mean honestly Dib all these years and you still didn't have it working right? I mean jeez how hard is it fix a space ship?"
Dib stared at his little sister incredulously for a moment, opened his mouth, and then shut it again before elbowing Zim in the side to stop him from snickering at Dib's embarrassment. The irken shot him a glare but it quickly died when he realized Gaz was glaring at them again.
"What I really want to know is what is going on with this kid of yours. I mean seriously...where is this kid....and just how much of your ugly genes did it inherit Dib?"
Dib glared at Gaz and was about to retort when Zim spoke up instead. "Zib is a perfect example of MY superior irken genes. (save for Dib's cursed hippo-sized head that is). And so of course MY genius offspring shall be sent for training and in twenty years She can be rais-" But Zim never got a chance to finish as Gaz had literally forced his mouth shut by shoving a particularly large shoe into his mouth.
"Yeah ...that clinches it. The kid's coming with me. It's obvious green boy's got no knack for child-rearing and knowing YOU." she snapped turning on her bother with a glare that had him searching for a way to climb over his seat and hide behind it. " Probably just let her run off all on her own for the past couple of days. Honestly you're just like dad. "
Dib raised a finger in protest before lowering it in consideration. Maybe he WAS just like his father...but still he hadn't let his toddler just run around unsupervised....wait yes he had. Okay so he was just like his father ...damn. Gaz had a point. "But Zib is an alien Gaz! How are you going to keep her from getting caught by the FBI or something?" Dib asked, honestly a bit worried for his daughter..er...clone.
Gaz stared at Dib incredulously and raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding right? Zim ran through the neighborhood one night in a giant robot without his disguise and no one even noticed. I doubt it'll be hard to disguise the little rug-rat well enough for her to blend in. Besides....if anybody asks...I'll just tell them the truth. She's my brother and Zim's stupid kid. Nobody'll care then."
Dib blinked and then let his mouth fall open in disbelief before he shouted. "BUT THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! First of all we're both guys! And cloning doesn't even exist back on earth yet!"
Gaz rose an eyebrow. "Well I was going to use the artificial insemination excuse...but if you don't think it's good enough then we can always go with the whole cloning thing."
Dib's trap shut good. "Oh...yeah okay I guess that could work."
"Good" Gaz stated simply, standing. "Then I'm taking the brat and getting the hell out of here. This place is less interesting than Zim's stupid base. Where is my hideous niece anyway."
Zim, having finally removed the offense shoe from his throat threw it to the ground and stood suddenly, Dib following his movement due to the way the alien was shooting daggers at his sister.
"Over Zim's DEAD BODY will you be taking my precious little offspring and creation of MY perfect genes! Zib is MY child and she will remain HERE! Where I can keep an eye on her! Where it is SAFE! Your HIDEOUS dirt-ball of a planet is too dangerous and too unsecured to protect OUR. HEIR." Zim ground out glaring at Gaz so viciously that Dib was actually afraid that the alien would hurt her.
"Daily reports and you can visit every month." Gaz stated smoothly.
For a second there was awkward silence until Zim finally replied, rather curtly in Dib's opinion. "You will also, of course, be sending me a detailed description of your security?"
"Robots that feed on human flesh still?"
"Any weaponry above putrid lazer grade?"
"Pssh, each one's been outfitted with at least a level S giga-lazeer and one perpetual energy generator."
Zim was quiet for a moment, still glaring before at last he seemed to give up and turn back to Dib. "I can deal with this."
Dib merely groaned and rolled his eyes before going off to search for Zib.
Neross: What? It's short and sweet because it needs to be. More smut next chapter I promise. I needed to get the horrible taste of fluff out of my system. No seriously, it tastes like some sort of horrible cotton-candy and actual cotton mixture. It's terrible. I do NOT do fluff. *shudders*
Euugh....alright. In any case leave a review or suffer MY TERRIBLE SICKY WRATH!! *hacks in readers general direction* Now if you'll excuse me I have Danny Phantom fanfiction to update before I collapse from fever.