A/N: I own nothing.
A/N2: Bear any mistakes in this story, English is not my first language.
Rated M for intense sexual content, don't read if you don't like it lol.
Reba Hart entered her own house and slammed the door shut, letting out a sigh.
She felt sorry for Barbra Jean, that fight with Brock she had witnessed had been bad. Brock was really going through a hard time, and Barbra Jean's blurting out stuff could get very annoying sometimes, but that didn't mean that he could just go around and yell at people. As much as he might be troubled and upset, that was just plain rude.
Lost in her thoughts, she grabbed the newspaper sitting on the small table in front of the couch and sat down on her favourite chair, randomly opening the newspaper and starting to read, trying to get her mind off the whole Brock and Barbra Jean thing.
But there wasn't much she could do not to think about it. As much as she told herself the whole thing wasn't going to affect her, she knew she was just fooling herself. Of course it was going to affect her. The mere fact that Brock had been diagnosed with depression and was taking pills was going to affect her.
Because it meant that when they had gotten separated and then divorced, that wasn't because their love was gone or because it was over between them. It was just because he had a trouble that he never worked on. And even though she knew that it was wrong, the door that separated her life with Brock from her life as a single woman was never truly closed…and it kept cracking open a little more every day, even though she wanted to close it and lock it and never open it again.
She wanted to defend herself and protect her heart from breaking even more than it already had, but she couldn't help it. And her will got weaker and weaker as the door got more and more open wide, showing everything she wanted to keep deep in her soul and never face again.
Reba sighed, and suddenly her train of thoughts was interrupted by her son coming down the stairs, looking for Van.
"Makes me so angry…" Jake hissed through gritted teeth, standing in front of her.
Reba frowned, "What did he do?"
"He used up all my mousse." Jake pointed at his hair with an angry face. "I can't go to the playground like this!"
Reba bit her lip and forced back a smile, putting the newspaper down on her legs, "Well, honey, wear a baseball cap…"
Just at that moment, Van came down the stairs, and as she heard them argue, Reba slowly lost interested in what was going on between them, until…
"Hey, Mr. H…" Van leaned against the chair in front of Reba, facing the door.
Reba felt her heart jump in her chest and the air next to her move as Brock rushed inside and glared at Van.
"Get out." Brock addressed Van angrily before turning to her, glaring as he waited for her to speak.
"Well…" Van made a face and looked at him. "I see where Jake gets his temper from…"
Reba jumped slightly when Brock raised his voice, pushing Van out of the way. She watched the young man leave the house through the back door and gave Brock a cold stare, tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair, "Well, you're just yelling at everybody today, aren't you?"
"What the heck was all that before with the baby stuff?" Brock glared back at her, ignoring her sarcastic comment. If she only knew how he really felt…
Reba sighed, "I didn't know she was gonna blurt it out!" She had to admit it, it was a pretty big thing to be told like that as soon as you walked into your house.
"Well you didn't stop her!" He yelled.
'What?' Reba thought to herself, feeling her patience starting to run short, anger boiling inside of her, "That's not my job!" She yelled back, getting up to face him. "You two people are the ones comin' barging in my door!" She glared at him and walked around the couch, putting the newspaper away. "I thought when I raised you and got you remarried you'd be more independent." She couldn't help but add, almost forcing back a smirk.
She waited a few seconds for him to say something, but when he didn't she felt herself get even angrier, her temper running loose, "And don't you come in here yellin' at me. I'm not Barbra Jean and this is not your house!"
Brock scoffed, "Oh calm down… I can't talk to a hysterical woman."
As soon as his words sank into her mind, Reba gasped in shock. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't believe he was pulling out the same stupid excuse. The one he pulled out every time they argued back when they were married and the same one Barbra Jean claimed he used with her too.
She felt offended and outraged, and she felt angry too, which was never good when it came to Brock, so she thought it better if he just went away, she needed time to cool off, "Get out of my house." She coldly said, walking to the front door. "Get out."
Brock shook his head, "No, I'm not going."
Reba still glared at him and opened the door, waiting for him to get out or go on talking.
"You do things to make my life miserable because you resent me…" Brock started, looking straight into her eyes, "…and I'm not leaving here until we straighten things out between us."
Reba slammed the door closed and looked at him in shock. Now he wanted to sort things out. Now that everything was gone and it was so messed up. Now that he was with another woman, out of her reach. Now that they were divorced and as much as she tried to, she just couldn't move on.
"Where was that attitude three years ago?" She bitterly asked, walking over to him and still glaring at him.
Brock nodded and sighed, "Okay, you know what? That's what I wanna talk about."
She felt her heart jump in her throat and stepped closer to him, pointing her finger at his throat as tears threatened to dwell up in her eyes and she furiously blinked them back, "Do you? Do you really wanna do that? Because if you open that door, I guarantee you're not gonna like what you find behind it!" She swallowed hard and stared into his eyes.
"I know I won't."
The door was there and he knew it. And he probably knew that it wasn't completely closed either, which made her weak to him. And she hated being weak. She was always the strong one, the one who knows what to do and what to say. The one who gives comfort when other people are upset or in trouble. And to admit that she was the one in trouble, sometimes, it just killed her.
"You did me wrong…" She went on, her voice filled up with emotion. "Flat out wrong!"
"I know I did." Brock's answer was a little more than a whisper, but she heard it as clearly as if he had shouted it out at the top of his lungs.
He knew he did, then why did he keep on torturing her, playing mercilessly with her heart? Didn't he know that she had not moved on? Didn't he know that she still wished he was there by her side every night?
"Then why are you keeping doing that?" She asked in a whisper, biting her lip to avoid tears from falling. "You should be at your house, you should be working things out with Barbra Jean… you should leave me alone, Brock… I'm not your wife anymore, we lost that chance and now it's over… we lost everything we had and we can't bring it all back… You can't turn back time…"
"But if I could I would turn it back…" He answered, taking a step closer to her. "Because I do think I made a mistake, Reba…"
"You…what?" Reba stepped backwards, shocked. No, this wasn't really happening. It couldn't be really happening. It was just a nightmare. Or a beautiful dream. Anyway, she was gonna wake up soon.
"No no no, you can't destroy someone's life and then just say you made a mistake. It wasn't a mistake, Brock, it was a decision…"
"It was the wrong decision… can't you see it, Reba? Ever since I got together with Barbra Jean I've been miserable…and always hanging around at your house…" He stepped forward again, forcing her to step back.
Reba shook her head and brought her hands to her head, walking as far from him as she could until her back hit the front door. "You made a commitment, Brock… you made a decision and made a commitment, you can't just say you think it was wrong and turn it all back… you can't expect that people will be glad to go with your decision this time… You don't have that power over anyone else's life…"
Brock sighed, "I know it sounds selfish, Reba… but please, I wanna talk about it… I want to explain…"
"What's to explain? You're being your usual egotistical self, it's as clear as day." Reba glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Okay, maybe I'm being egotistical… But what I want to explain is that I just need to know, I need to hear something from you…" He looked pleadingly at her and stepped even closer.
Reba frowned, puzzled, "What-"
"You said that there is a door…" Brock started, taking a deep breath, "And you confirmed what I thought… I also think that door isn't completely closed, yet…but I don't know how far open it is…that is what I need to know. Is it open enough to let me back in?" He looked straight into her eyes as his words faded in the thick silence around them.
Reba swallowed hard and looked away, unable to hold his gaze. What was she supposed to answer to that? Did she know how far open the door was? Yes, she did. But she didn't know if she was ready to accept the truth, and she was definitely not ready to let him know that the door was still wide open, waiting for him to walk back in and lock it behind his back.
His voice snapped her back to reality and she looked up, her eyes meeting his. The tension between them was strong, the air seemed thick and heavy, almost too much to breathe.
She felt her throat get close and tight, and her chest started to rise and fall quickly as she tried to take in sharp breaths, never getting all the air she needed. She knew she was about to have a panic attack, it wasn't the first time it happened, but she didn't want him to witness it.
"Reba…are you okay?" Brock frowned and looked at her, worried, walking closer to her as he saw her struggle to get some air, clutching her chest with a painful look on her face.
Reba held up her hand to push him back and tried to focus on her breathing, but all she could do was hyperventilating, and that wasn't any good in that situation. Her throat got even tighter and she tried to swallow, but it was hard to do so. In attempt to calm down she leant against the door and she felt her body start to slide to the floor as the air left her body almost completely.
Before she knew it, Brock's strong arms were supporting her waist and his lips were pressed on hers, trying to breathe some air into her mouth.
She didn't know how long they had been like this, stuck together with their lips connected in a chaste, saving kind of kiss, it just seemed like hours to her. The only thing she knew was that slowly her arms had moved up like as if on their own command and were now wrapped around his neck as the kiss turned into something light years away from a chaste, innocent way to help out your friend.
As his lips slowly massaged hers and he pressed her gently into the door, Reba realized that she had to put a stop to this madness. But she wasn't ready. 'Not yet…' She told herself, as she kissed Brock back, sharing all the passion and lust in that one kiss. 'I will stop it…but not now… I need a few more seconds…only a few seconds…'
But a few seconds became a lot more as the kiss went on and on, and she utterly enjoyed every second of it. She had missed him so much, but she remembered exactly how soft his lips were and the perfect way they fit with hers. She remembered the wildfire inside of her every time their lips touched, how her skin burned wherever his hands connected with her body.
And she also knew that she was never able to resist, so she couldn't let herself just go with the flow, she couldn't let his hand sneak further up underneath her shirt. She had to stop it all, and she had to do that quickly.
"Brock…" Her voice was a little more than a whisper, a quiet plea for him to stop before it was too late.
"Where are the kids?" He mumbled against her neck, ignoring her silent request. He moved his kisses up her neck and nibbled at her earlobe, smiling against her skin when he felt her scratch her fingernails against his covered chest.
"Out…" Reba heard her voice answer like from a distance, as a deep moan escaped her throat.
That was it, it was the end. She had her time to think and her time to stop and she didn't. She could fool herself and say that she wanted to stop but he didn't let her go, but she knew that wasn't true. She didn't want to stop. In the back of her mind a voice kept telling her how wrong it all was, but she subconsciously pushed that voice farther and farther, not wanting to listen to it. She thought that if she didn't think about it, it wouldn't have been so wrong. But it was and she knew it. It was just her heart…she couldn't control her heart and her feelings. And those were the ones who pushed her forward.
Her heart pushed her to kiss him and let him have his way with her, her mind told her to stop and tell him to leave her alone before they made a huge mistake. She knew she could control her mind and push her thoughts aside, was she ready to do the same thing with her feeling all over again? She had been pushing her feelings aside for the longest time now, she had given up everything for somebody else's happiness, she had accepted decisions without even react. Shouldn't she do something for herself, for a change? Couldn't she let out her feelings and do what she felt like doing instead of what was right?
After all she was only human, there was only so much she could take. And with him right there in her arms, kissing her neck like it had happened countless time before, she wasn't so sure she was ready to put her feelings aside once more.
As her mind still tried to shout for her to stop, Reba realized her heart had won when her hands ran down Brock's chest and gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head.
"Good girl…" Brock smirked and pushed her jacket off her shoulders, trailing kisses along her jaw-line.
"Shut up…" She moaned and glared at him, grazing his chest with her fingernails and running her hands up to his neck, tugging at his hair and pulling his head closer for a deep, slow kiss.
He broke the kiss for a second to pull her t-shirt over her head and immediately pressed his lips on hers again, brushing his tongue against hers as the kiss got more and more heated.
"This is so wrong…" She mumbled, throwing back her head as he moved his kisses down her neck again, unclasping her bra and pressing his mouth on her breast.
"Yet it feels so good…" He replied with a smirk, licking her nipple and sucking gently at it, before nibbling at it with his teeth.
"God…" She groaned in pleasure and squeezed her eyes, biting her lip. "I hate you…" She pressed through gritted teeth, clenching her hands around his shoulders.
He chuckled against her flesh, "I know you do…" He mumbled, moving his hand up to caress her other nipple, which hardened in response.
"You are such an ass…" She moaned, arching her back to press her breast firmly into his mouth as her breathing got faster and heavier.
"You just love to insult me, don't you?" Brock chuckled and switched breast, biting on her nipple and tugging at it gently as he pinched the other red, swollen nipple with her fingers.
"Yes… oh god…" She dug her fingernails into his shoulders and took a deep breath, tugging roughly at his hair and pulling his head up, "I want you now, Brock…" She breathed against his lips, causing him to smirk as his hands worked their way down her body, quickly opening her jeans and pushing them over her hips.
She kicked her shoes away and shrugged off her jeans, unbuckling his pants and pulling them down his legs along with his boxer shorts. She then brought her hands up to his shoulders, pulling him close for a deep kiss as she wrapped one leg around his waist, ready to feel his hands sneak under her thighs to lift her up. So she was totally taken aback when instead he took her hands in his and moved them above her head, pinning her even more into the door.
"What are you doing?" She asked, frowning confusedly.
"I just wanna have some fun…" He smirked and kissed her softly, moving one hand down her body to rip off her panties. Then, still pressing her hands into the door, he pulled away a little, checking her out. "You are so beautiful, Reba…so stunningly-"
"Enough pillow-talk, I don't need that…" She harshly cut him off, causing him to smirk.
"We have no pillow…" He pointed out, stepping closer again and kissing her neck.
"You know what I mean… I am not the kind of woman you can- ahhhh!" Her sentence faded in a loud cry as he entered her without warning.
"I know you are not the kind of woman a man can sweet-talk to his bed…" He panted, stilling his movement to let her adjust to the new feeling. "I had no intention to…"
"Good…hmm…" She pressed herself harder against him, struggling to get her hands out of his grip, wanting to touch his body. "Please, Brock…" She looked pleadingly into his eyes.
"What is it, baby?" He smirked and started to move with slow, deep strokes.
Reba let out a loud moan and threw back her head, closing her eyes, "My hands…please…"
"Not yet, sweetie…be patient…" Brock increased the speed of his thrusts a little and kissed her exposed throat, sucking hard on her skin and smiling against her neck as she growled in pleasure and frustration. "Do you like it, baby?" He whispered in her ear, licking her earlobe.
"Yes…" She moaned softly and once again tried to free her hands from his grip, but with no success.
"Tell me what you want to do…" He went on, trailing his kisses down her neck again and gently biting on her shoulder.
"I want to touch you…" She rasped out, gasping in pleasure as he moved faster and harder. "I want to touch you so badly…please…"
Brock smirked and moved his lips further down, capturing a nipple between his teeth and gently nibbling at it as he let go of her hands.
"Oh god, yes…yes…ohhh…" She immediately wrapped her arms around his head, hugging it to her chest as she wrapped her legs around his waist and slammed her hips against his.
He wrapped his arms around her upper body and pressed her up into the door, slamming into her hard and fast, feeling her walls start to clamp around him as she got close to her climax, "Come on baby… let go for me…"
"Yes…oh my…Brock…hmmm…" She moaned loudly and scratched her fingernails along his shoulders, starting to tremble in his arms as she felt her orgasm approach. "Harder, Brock…please…oh yes…yes…that is the spot…" She let out a little scream as he increased his pace and hit the right spot which caused her to climax immediately, crying out his name.
"Brock… oh yes…god…yes…" She held tightly onto him, shaking badly as she came hard.
"Yes…hmmm…god Reba…" He panted and buried his face into her chest, kissing her breasts as he let go as well, emptying himself inside of her and pressing her even more into the door, trying to catch his breath.
They just stood there still connected for the longest time, until they finally took control of their breathing again, then Brock carried her to the couch, falling on top of her and kissing her softly.
Reba kissed him back kind of uncertainly, looking away from him.
With his heart falling down in his stomach, Brock looked at her, turning her chin to make her face him again, "What's wrong?" He asked in a small voice.
She chuckled at the irony of his question. What was wrong, he asked? Well, she had just killed her rationality, let herself go like a tramp and to add to it all she had just had sex with her ex-husband for whom she still had feelings. Did it really looked all right to him? Was he dumber than she thought or he just didn't care if he hurt the feelings of everybody else around him?
'Wait, that's right…it was sex…meaningless sex…I don't care, he doesn't care…we just couldn't control ourselves…like wild animals…' She felt a tiny bit relieved at the thought, but couldn't help making a face. She didn't really want it to be just sex and she knew the odds of it being meaningless were very very few. But still…
"Nothing is wrong…" She forced an unconvincing smile on her face and gently pushed him off her, sitting up on the couch and picking up his large t-shirt from the floor, covering herself. "It was just sex, wasn't it? We have nothing to be sorry for…" She said in a small voice, though she hoped it would sound confident and cool.
Brock sighed and nodded, "Of course it was just sex…" He replied, looking into her eyes.
Reba looked away, and felt her throat get tight as she felt like crying. Telling herself it was just sex and she didn't care was one thing, but hearing him confirm the dreaded truth was all a different matter. She didn't want him to think it was just sex. That meant he really thought she was acting like a slut and that he really didn't care. He just needed someone to relieve his stress and he just caught her moment of weakness.
Suddenly she felt herself get angry at him for everything that happened, "So all the talk about being sorry and knowing how you hurt me…that just didn't mean a thing to you, did it? Of course, you have a wife you can make love to, you can only have sex with your ex-wife, right? You're just-"
His warm lips pressed on hers interrupted her rambling with a breathtaking kiss, and Reba felt herself respond to the kiss immediately, even though she still wanted to be mad at him.
"Of course it was just sex, because making love is very different from what we had here a few minutes ago…" Brock whispered against her lips as they broke apart, breathing hard.
Reba looked at him curiously, frowning a little.
Brock smiled, "Let me show you what making love is like once again…" He caressed her cheek and gently pushed her back on the couch, making her lay back down and laying on top of her, kissing her softly.
"Brock, we shouldn't-"
He shut her up with another sweet kiss and smiled into her eyes, "Just stop thinking for a while… that is what making love is made of… you and me alone in the whole world, taking time to please one another… slow kisses and touches…" He moved his lips down her neck as he went on talking, his hand sneaking down her body and lightly touching her clit.
"Hmm…" She let out a soft moan and her eyes fluttered shut as she threw back her head, granting him better access to her neck.
"The sounds of pleasure echoing in our ears…slowly tasting each other's skin…whispering sweet nonsense… that is making love, baby… that is showing your love and devotion to the most important person in your life… showing her you love her without words… gestures are often worth a lot more than words…" He kissed his way up to her jaw and cheek, moving his lips to hers and kissing her slowly.
Reba's eyes filled up with tears at his words. She could feel it in his voice and see it in his eyes that he wasn't lying. He was serious when he said she was the most important person in his life, and even though she knew how messed up their situation was, she also knew they could find a way out of it if they really wanted to be together again. If they really loved each other enough to fight for their love.
Brock smiled tenderly and wiped away a few tears rolling down her cheeks, "I mean every word, Reba… everything I said, I mean it… I love you…" He smiled again and captured her lips in another sweet kiss.
She smiled up at him and caressed his cheek, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him softly, "Then make love to me… show me that you love me as much as I do…" She whispered in his ear, feeling her heart melt with tenderness when he grinned at her, kissing her deeply once more as he slowly thrust into her body.
'If she doesn't know where he is I'm gonna call the police…' The blonde woman told herself as she walked quickly up to Reba's back door, barging in without knocking.
A little startled by the weird silence into the house, Barbra Jean Hart made her way into Reba's kitchen, trying to catch any sound.
And the sounds she heard made her heart stop dead in her chest.
Tears filled her eyes as she walked up to the window separating the kitchen from the living room, the sounds of moaning and panting echoed in her ears loudly, making her feel like she was going crazy. And there they were, on the couch in each other's arms, making passionate love.
Her husband and her best friend.
She stared at them silently for a few seconds, her breath stuck in her throat and tears stinging in her eyes, then she just turned around and walked out of the door. That was it, she knew the moment would come sooner or later. She knew Brock was not in love with her, and she was sure Reba still had feelings for him.
Actually it didn't really surprise her, she expected it. And she thought it would hurt a lot more, but it really didn't hurt that much. It hurt more to think she would lose Reba's friendship than the fact that her husband was cheating on her.
Maybe she was never really in love with Brock either and she just hadn't realized it before. And maybe it was better this way, they would be better off without each other.
She wiped away her tears as she walked into her house and pulled out paper sheets and a pen from a drawer, along with a thin folder.
I know how awkward it would be to talk to you right now after what I saw, so I'm writing you this letter. I don't want you to think I am mad at you or anything, because it's not true. Maybe I am just a little upset or disappointed, most of all in myself because I wasn't able to understand everything a lot earlier. Anyway, I think this is where our roads part and I really do think it's for the best. I've kept these divorce papers for quite a while now, maybe because I wasn't really sure if I loved you enough to stay married to you. You just need to sign them and that's it, the divorce will be final short after that. I also signed papers to give you custody of Henry, I already know I won't stay in Houston and I don't want to take Henry away from you and from everything he knows and loves here. I am not giving up on my parental rights, though, so I'll still want to see him every now and then.
I hope everything works out fine for you, and I want you to know there are no hard feelings on my side. We both are grown-ups and we know when it's time to say goodbye. I know you were never really in love with me and I wasn't in love with you, so I do think we are better off this way. See ya.
She read the letter and smiled a little, somehow sadly, as she got up and folded it, leaving it on the kitchen counter along with the divorce and custody papers. She had a lot to do before everything was sorted out, but she knew she could do that. Now everything seemed different to her, and though she was upset, she was also somehow thrilled at the thought of going away and being free again.
She could do everything she had always wanted to do and she wouldn't have to feel sorry or guilty for anything or anyone.
Brock would be happy with the woman he loved and she would still be looking for the man she had always dreamed of.