Hi! Well, let me explain this.
It's 1:30 A. M. and I'm high on sugar.
So I decided to make a fanfic about the Straw Hats in a reality T. V. Show.
This is total crack and it's supposed to be crazy and rule breaking. So don't complain.
A tall, blond, green-eyed teen aged girl is sitting at a desk, inside a T. V. Studio.
? ? ? :"Yo! I'm Diana (DEE-ana) Fernandes Mourão. But you can just call me Erase. Or Diana. I really don't give a shit. Anyway, welcome to Reality Fic. The T. V. show that takes 20 characters from One Piece, sticks them in a mansion together and tortures them. Each chapter is a day, and every seven days, three of them get a penalty. At the first penalty they get a warning. At second, a week in Detention. At third. . . They're off the game. There are two special rooms in the house. The Room and Detention. The Room is a confessional. They will expose their darkest secrets to you, the reader. In Detention, punishment happens. They can go to Detention by penalties or faults. Faults are when they brake the rules. The rest will be explained as the game proceeds. Now let us meet the contestants. 10 male, 10 female. "
She snaps her fingers and 20 arm chairs appear on the room.
Erase:"First, the boys. He's 17, owns his own ship, and is a captain! Give a warm welcome to. . . Luffy! "
Luffy walks into the room and sits on a chair.
Erase:"Hi Luffy. The next boy is a 19 year old that works as a First-Mate. He's really good with swords and his name is Zoro! "
Zoro walks in and also sits on a chair.
Erase:"Aw, you look so cute with those little butter knifes. "
Zoro:"Shut yer trap before I cut your head off. "
Erase:"Yeah, whatever. The next boy is, in my opinion, the hottest, cutest, handsomest cook ever, he's 19 and a great kicker. Heeeellllloooo, Sanji! ! "
Erase:"You can't kick a girl, right? "
Sanji:"That's right. "
Erase:"Goody! That means that I can abuse you all I want, and I won't get my ass kicked! "
Erase:"The next dude is a cowardly sharpshooter and he's 17! Say hello to Usopp! "
Usopp:"I'm not cowardly! "
Erase:"Pff, yeah right! Next! 15, doctor, cute! Heeeeeeeee's Chopper! "
Chopper(Doing his little squiggly dance. )"I won't get happy, even if you call me cute and doctor. "
Erase:"Yeah, whatever ya say. He's a 34 year old shipwright. Franky! "
Erase:"Err. . . O. . . Kay. . . Anyway, the next guy is a. . . 86 year old skeleton musician? Geez, Where did we get these guys? "
A brown haired teen, with a head piece appears.
Chase:"In a shonen anime. "
Erase:"Chase, that was a rhetorical question. "
He quickly left.
Erase:"Next one! He's 20, he's literally hot and he's a Commander! Ace! "
Ace:"Hi there! "
Erase:"Hi. This one is smoking! Literally! Smoker! And I think he must be forty or something. "
Erase:"Last boy! He has a square nose! Kaku! "
Kaku:"Hey, how's it going? "
Erase:"Great, thank you. How 'bout ya? "
Kaku:"Same old, same old. "
Erase:"Anyway, that's the last boy. Now for the girls! She's 18, a navigator and a thief. Nami! "
Nami:"Isn't self-insertion a fanfiction taboo? "
Erase:"Read the author's notes, baby. Next, 28, archaeologist. Robin! "
Robin walked in, waved to the readers and sat on a chair.
Erase:"The next one is a secret agent but she has experience as a secretary! Kalifa! "
Kalifa:"Good afternoon. "
Erase:"Good afternoon. The next one is a marine with a horrible fashion sense! Tashigi! "
Tashigi:"I don't have a horrible fashion sense! "
Nami:"Yes, you do. "
Erase:"Exactly, Nami. Thanks for supporting me. The next girl is also a marine, she's about Smoker's age and she refers to herself in the third person. Say hello to Hina. "
Hina:"Hina is very happy to be here. "
Erase:"Uh, yeah, whatever. . . The next one used to be fat! I don't know what diet she used but I want it too! "
Nami:"Yeah, you need it. "
Erase:"If you don't shut up, you'll start the show in detention! Anyway, here's Alvida! "
Alvida:"It's a Demon Fruit. "
Erase:"Cool. Anyway, the next girl is from Usopp's village and she's studding to be a doctor! Kaya! "
Kaya:"Hello, good afternoon! "
Erase:"Hello. The next girl is 16 and a princess! Vivi! "
Erase:"Hi. And the next girl is. . . Is. . . Chase, why isn't anything written on the cards? "
He walked over to her and whispered something.
Erase:"What do you mean by "There isn't anyone else. "? ! Not one? "
Chase:"The rest weren't viable candidates. "
Erase:"Viable? Viable! It's a damn reality show! I didn't even know we had standards! "
Chase:"Well, we do. "
Erase:"What are we going to do, now? "
Chase:"Maybe we could call someone? "
Erase:"Err. . . Oh, I know! Characters from my comics! Yeah, that'll do! Can we have a break please? "
Devil Fruit! Devil Fruit! Devil Fruit!
Eat a Devil Fruit and you'll gain super, awesome powers!
Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Devil Fruit Inc. isn't responsible for side effects such as becoming a hammer.
Zany Electronics is proud. Proud for serving your electronic needs for 20 years!
And I'm here to announce our new electronic wonder!
Our awesome 20 inch plasma!
Only for. . . 300SC!
Get it in our stores and in any electronic store!
Zany. Bringing you electronics.
The newest Ruby model is here!
The Ruby 360 sneakers are here and they're better than the rest!
With new technology and a new design!
(A guy wearing the shoes runs around the world, stops suddenly and makes a 360º spin and just keeps running)
Ruby. For you.
End of commercial break.
Erase:"Okay, we're back! Now, the next girl is 18 and a character in my comics! She's studding to be a lawyer in some of the comics and fighting evil in the others! She's Jamie! "
A girl with dark blond, long hair, green eyes, spiky bangs and punk clothing walks in.
Jamie:"Yo! Wazzup! "
Erase:"Wazzup! The next girl is 20 and another character in my comics! She's also studding but to be a biologist! Her name is Amber! "
Another girl, with short, brown hair, amber colored eyes and wearing glasses and simple clothes walks in.
Amber:"Hum, hello. "
Erase:"Hello. With this we end the introduction! Now let the game begin! If you don't mind you will go outside now. "
The group did has they were told. Outside was 20 black Opel Astras with painted windows in the back doors and 20 men in black suits. The men escorted each one to a different car and drove off.
Back in the studio, Erase turned to the cameras.
Erase:"Now, there are lots of shit we didn't tell. "
She took a black envelope out of her pocket.
Erase:"This is one of them. The drivers were instructed to give them a envelope just like this. In the inside there is a message. And this is it:
If you are reading this, then you are near the house. There are things we didn't tell you and one of them is that you are going to have partners. You and your partner will have to do tasks. Together. And you cannot choose your partner. We already chose him/her for you.
Thank you for participating and good luck.
Turn this over for the name of your partner. "
Now, they must be near the house. And there are hidden cameras in the cars. Let's take a look. And see what they think of the partnerships. "
Nami is reading the letter calmly. She turns it around.
"Sonofabitch! Sanji? "
Sanji is reading with an eyebrow raised. He turns it around and goes heart-eyed.
Robin turns it around.
"Ah. Luffy. "
Luffy turns it around and grins.
"Yay, Robin! "
Kalifa turns it around and raised an eyebrow.
"Kaku. Interesting. "
Kaku turns it around and smiles.
"Oh, good! Kalifa. "
Hina turns it around and frowns.
"Hina is not happy. "
Smoker turns it around and groans.
"Dammit. I got Hina. "
Kaya turns it around and smiles.
"Great, I got Usopp! "
Usopp turns it around and grins.
"Alright! Kaya! "
Alvida turns it around.
"Who's Franky? "
Franky turns it around and raised a eyebrow.
Vivi turns it around and smiles.
"I got Chopper-kun. "
Chopper turns it around and also smiles.
"Phew, I thought I was going to be with someone scary. "
Amber turns it around and starts shivering.
"The. . . The. . . The skeleton! "
Brook turns it around.
"Yohoho! I am so lucky to be with such a beautiful lady! "
Jamie turns it around and smirks.
"That Ace guy, huh? Hehehe. . . "
Ace turns it around.
"Jamie? The hot punk chick? "
Tashigi turns it around and her jaw drops.
Zoro turns it around and his jaw also drops.
All the cars stop in front of a huge mansion. Everyone comes out and gather around a fountain. A jeep appears and Erase jumps off it.
Erase:"Yo! Is everyone happy? "
Nami:"I'm. Going. To. Kill. You. "
Erase:"I'll take that as a "no". Anyway, I'm here to explain some more stuff. Each day there will be a task. The winner couple gets a prize. Now let's talk 'bout money. "
Nami grinned widely.
Erase:"Yes, money. Our currency around this parts is Scales(SC). You earn money by doing various stuff. Once a week, a taxi will come here, to take players that want to go shopping. But only 7 can go. And now the house. In the left side is the girls bedroom an the girls bathroom. Guys can't go in there. Also, in the left, is the lounge and the storage room. In the right side there is the guys bedroom and bathroom. No girls. Also, kitchen and dinning room. In the middle there is Detention, The Room, three private rooms and another bathroom without restrictions. "
Nami:"What's the private rooms for? "
Nami:"Huh? Oh. Oh! Wait, who do you expect to. . . You know. "
Erase:"What? Have sex? Sleep together? Fuck each other? Forn-"
Nami:"Yes, that! "
Erase:"Dunno. Anyway, it's getting late. Now I want you to go inside and take turns at The Room. Then you can whatever the hell you want. "
Everyone nodded and went inside.
This is going to be awful. I know it. I can't do it. I can't work with Sanji! He's annoying! Yeah, some people think he's sweet, but I know he just wants to get in my pants.
Oh. My. Gawd! Nami is such a bitch! Was that commentary about my clothes really necessary? I get the announcer, it's her job to be mean! But Nami? It feels like I already have an enemy and the game hasn't really started yet. And worse, I'm stuck with that green-haired idiot! This couldn't get worse!
This isn't good. Look, I can't stay with Tashigi. She reminds me too much of someone I lost. Please, I can't.
I have no idea who that Alvida chick is!
Yeah, I'm happy. VERY happy. It's like a dream come true. But I'm kinda worried about that "abuse" comment earlier. I'm afraid of what she'll do to me.
I don't know why I'm doing this. My life feels so empty so I thought joining would fill that but. . . I don't know.
Hina is very annoyed. Very annoyed.
I'm going to die. Wait, maybe I already died. And went to hell.
This is going to be interesting. I just know it. .
I don't want to stay with that skeleton. He's scary.
Yohoho! The house is full of girls!
Meh. I don't really have anything to say.
I hope there's lots of meat!
I find this interesting. It'll be a different experience.
Squee! Choppy is so cute! I'm glad I got him.
I'm glad I'm with Vivi. All the other girls, except Robin, are scary. Especially Nami.
This is going to be fun!
I'm glad to be with Kalifa. It's better than to be with some stranger.
Kill me now.
End of confessions.
So? How bad was it?