Airports, Emotions, and Anger
Part One- "Gone"
~It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it~
"I'm proud of you" Alice murmured, so low only I could hear her. I met her eyes as she gave me that familiar grin "You're doing great"
I smiled softly back. How I wish I had the never ending confidence she has always had in me.
We were currently sitting in a crowded airport waiting for Edward and the others to arrive. And the place was packed with bustling humans. Much more than the small high school with the handful of students in each class that I was use to.
The warmth and smell that scorched my throat and pooled my mouth with venom filled every particle in the air… taunting me, testing me.
There was no relief, no corner I could run to, no window to open, nothing to help push back the agonizing never-ending temptations that made up who I was... what I was.
I had to admit though; I was also a bit proud of myself. It seemed I had been doing better in these last couple of days than I had the whole school year.
However, I also knew this wasn't so much due to the fact that I had improved in my self control as I had much more important things to be paying attention to.
The main core of this was currently sitting next to me.
I was confused when Edward had brought Bella Swan into our lives. I didn't quite understand what it was about this girl that seemed to draw his attention. All I could see was the possibility of a threat. Edward was messing in very dangerous waters and I didn't understand why he was willing take so many risks. Risks for everyone and not just himself.
I could somewhat understand the thirst aspect, I have heard of our kind finding humans that appeal more than the others, though I have never experience it myself. But even without that Bella did seem to have a slightly different smell than the other human girls I have come across, but it's so slight to me I wouldn't have really noticed if I wasn't looking for it. They generally all smelled the same to me.
That first day she had been brought to our home I was shocked that the girl was still alive because I did in fact place my own bet on the issue of their "date", but more so than that I was shocked at Edward's behavior…his actions. He had been carefree, excited even.
He was so different from the Edward I had met over 50 years ago. And it all seemed to happen overnight. Literally. I didn't understand it.
I have always been slightly fascinated with Edward because it was almost a relief to tune into him instead of the others. Most of the time I would get nothing from him. I would get the small things that were an everyday occurrence, but nothing strong and clear like I was use to.
It was almost like my ability couldn't work on him properly. The only time anything really strong came through was when he was angry, those were the times I avoided him.
Because his anger, no matter how small, when pushed was nearly over whelming. It didn't happen often but when it did it made up for all the other times he held back.
But everything had changed when Bella Swan moved into our lives. The Edward I knew, the composed serious Edward, was gone. Replaced with a crazed, century old hormonal teenager.
The confused jumbled of emotions that radiated off him these days was nearly too much for me to handle. The range and level changed so rapidly at times it left me disoriented and beyond irritated.
This human girl next to me had had more or less hit his well structured wall so fiercely it all crashed down and everything he had been suppressing through the years flooded through him all at once. And me being who and what I was, unfortunately, felt every second of it when he was around.
When Alice and I had walked into Edward's room that first day, the emotion that hit me was unbelievable. It even over powered the excruciating pain and thirst that radiated from him at having the girl on his lap.
It was Like nothing I had ever felt before. And that was saying something, for I had felt a lot of love in my new life.
The love between Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmet, and then of course my beautiful Alice, they all were strong and potent, but what I felt coming off, not only Edward but Bella as well, was different.
It was just as strong as what I've felt before but there was something unique about it, I couldn't really explain it to myself; it seemed pure... raw almost.
It had taken me by complete surprise and it was scary to think about, especially for Edward. Seeing him so open and free for the first time. I knew that if something were to happen to this human…well it was hard to think of.
I didn't know what he was planning on because we all knew logically this couldn't last, not the way it was. However the frightening part about it was that I had felt the potential and knew it was strong enough to last, under different circumstances. But at this point Edward didn't even consider that as an option.
Later on that same day, while we were getting ready for our game, I had spoken to Alice about it, expressed my slight fear. Because even though the feeling I had felt pouring off Edward was Love, very strong love, I knew it could easily turn to a pain just as powerful, especially when said love rested in the life of such a fragile life.
Alice of course just gave me her soft knowing smile and reminded me of what she had seen, and though Edward was still dead set against it, her vision "remains clear as day".
A soft tapping on the tiled floor pulled me from my thoughts. From the corner of my eye I looked down at the very girl that had changed it all, changed my brother and family irreversibly… regardless of how it turned out now the change had been done.
Bella's small foot had begun to bounce up and down on the ground and as I felt the anxiety rise up in her yet again I exchanged a quick glance with Alice.
I knew this girl had been on an emotional rollercoaster the last few days, but I had hoped that the news of Edward coming back would help to calm her wild emotions. But it seemed the closer Edward's plane came to arriving the worse they became.
They were currently running through her like fire, I couldn't pin point just one. I tried to concentrate on an emotion that seemed the strongest so I would know what to spread towards her to balance it out.
But it was confused mess of
Suddenly she leaned forward, her scent hitting me full force and I was ripped from my focus. I cut off my breathing and swallowed back the venom flowing rapidly into my mouth. Spending nearly two days in a hotel room with her I had become somewhat immune to her scent, but I also knew I was overdue for a hunt.
Still not breathing I watched as Bella placed a white envelope on Alice's bag, her small hand shaking slightly. "My letter" she said quietly.
Yes, there defiantly was guilt there, and something else… regret maybe?
I shook my head slightly, what was it that was making her feel this way? I decided to leave it be, I didn't want to send some kind of emotion towards her and create an even bigger mess. Edward would be here soon and it would get better. Of that at least, I was sure of.
We continued to sit in silence and during that time Bella's anxiety steadily grew. Then suddenly a huge wave of it washed over me, mixed with a rush fear. I looked quickly around thinking she had somehow seen a threat before I did, then I looked to her only to see her turning towards Alice
"I think I'll eat now" she said fast and urgently.
Gently I eased some calm towards her hoping if nothing else it was slow her heart rate. I didn't know as much as Carlisle and Edward when it came to the human body but the rapid patter did not sound healthy to me.
Alice immediately stood up "I'll come with you"
"Do you mind if Jasper comes instead?"
My head snapped up. That one surprised me. I would think she would feel more comfortable with Alice. But then she added "I'm feeling a little…" She didn't finish. I couldn't blame her. Hell, I couldn't even figure out what she was feeling.
Alice looked at me, and reading the question her eyes I gave a slight nod of my head. I was okay and I could handle this. Alice needed to be here when the others arrived.
Staying close to Bella, we made our way through the crowds. I tried to keep my eyes peeled for any kind of danger but the smells rushing towards me were like a blow to the chest. Every time a person rushed by it was another strike.
I placed my hand on the girl's back, not only making sure she didn't get tugged away from me in the crowd, but also to keep myself clear headed. To remind me of what it was I was doing and why.
"Do you mind?" The question was quite and hesitant. I looked down to see wide brown eyes staring up at me and I realized she was gesturing towards the lady's room. "I'll only be a moment"
I nearly hesitated. Alice's words echoed in my ears from that morning 'Whatever we do we can't let her out of our sight Jasper. I don't know how he's going to get to her but the vision is still there, it hasn't changed'
But how could James possibly get to her in a bathroom? After all he would have to go through me first.
"I'll be right here"
And she was gone the door swinging close behind her.
How long did it take a human girl to take care of her business? It had been way too long since I had been human so I honestly couldn't remember.
I was getting a bit edgy now; surely it didn't take this long.
Unless maybe she was getting sick, that really wouldn't surprise me, everything was bound to catch up to her sooner or later. The mind, human or immortal, could only take so much at one time.
I debated on rather or not to check in on her, it was a ladies room after all.
At that moment however an elderly women walked in.
Sighing to myself I continued to wait
It had now been a little over Fifteen minutes and the other women had already left.
Feeling more and more uneasy I made up my mind and walked towards the door. Just as I was about to push it open I heard someone yell my name.
"Jasper…Jasper!" spinning around I saw Alice running towards me, smoothly dodging the crowd that seemed to be moving in the opposite direction.
"Where is she?" she asked frantically coming to a stop in front of me.
"She had to…" I pointed to the bathroom but before I could finish Alice had moved towards the door and threw it open.
Her next reaction made me freeze with dread.
Alice moaned and leaned against the wall before she buried her face in her hands, one hand holding a crumpled piece of paper.
This show of, what seemed to be weakness, coming from my Alice, shook me to the core. And then as I looked through the now open door I saw the red exit sign over yet another door in the same bathroom.
"She's gone" I whispered flatly. It was all I could say.
Three very long seconds ticked by in which neither of us moved, but it felt much longer. I was about to ask Alice if she could see anything else but before I could speak, She straightened up in a blur of motion.
At first I thought she was crying his name in realization that Edward would in fact be here any minute and we would have to explain why Bella wasn't with us. But as I took in her horrified expression, and her wide eyes locked over my shoulder, I knew as I turned around who I would see.
But turn around I did, what else was there to do?
And that's when I saw them walking towards us. Carlisle, Emmet, and Edward, the last of whom searching for a face I knew he would not find.
My body automatically tensed for what I knew was coming.