A/N This was originally written for the J/D ficathon on lj. I wrote for greengrrl with the requirements of 1. first time 2. intelligence being sexy with the optional request of I love the tropes, written from cracky to dramatic: AUs or genderswitch or telepathy or bodyswap or kid!fic or Harlequin.
A/N2 This wasn't my first thought for this story. Credit for this idea goes to one of my cousins. Thank you.
Once Returned to Self:
The sight in the observation room made General Hammond pause. Jack was on Daniel's lap, his head on Daniel's shoulder. Daniel had his arms around Jack's waist and instead of listening to Janet he was openly staring lovingly at Jack.
"Sir?" Sam's voice finally cut through his shock.
"Can they be fixed?" he asked.
"We have had another consciousness share our minds before," Teal'c pointed out.
"Yes, but he didn't take over," Sam countered.
"It must be reversible," Teal'c insisted before he turned from watching his teammates cuddle to look at Sam, "I have every confidence in your ability to fix this."
"That should be my line," Hammond frowned, still watching Jack and Daniel.
If the meaning of his words eluded Teal'c Hammond missed it, Jack had chosen that moment to look at Janet. He smiled apologetically as he told her, "The solution should really be quite simple. As long as our bodies are intact and the 'Gods' are no longer angered with us we'd be more than willing to return to them."
"How do we tell them there are no Gods and that as far as we can tell they're the last two surviving members of their species?" Sam inquired.
"That would normally be Dr. Jackson's area of expertise, but I suppose I'll have to suffice," General Hammond decided before he pointed out, "And judging by the sarcastic way whomever is in Jack's body said 'Gods' I wouldn't put much stock that he or she believes in them."
That decided he headed down to join Janet. After he introduced himself Jack stood and nodded before he said, "I am Jena and this is my husband Laeral."
Daniel or rather Laeral in Daniel's body stood and joined Jena in Jack's body. He too nodded to General Hammond.
"If anyone can reverse what has happened it will be Jena," he reassured.
Jena smiled at Laeral.
"You're so smart, my love. I'm sure you'll have this whole mess figure out in no time," he smiled back.
Jena leaned up and kissed Laeral, "I can only hope so."
Janet and General Hammond shared a look of concern. Though there were two other people in their friend's body, it still looked as if Jack had just kissed Daniel.
Laeral touch Jena's chin, "It's odd seeing you as a male."
"It's odd to be so short as well," Jena frowned.
"Yes, it is," Laeral agreed.
She turned to smile at Janet and General Hammond, "I am certain I can fix this, if I'm given access to our bodies and the devices. Have the consciousnesses of these bodies been transferred to ours or did they remain within their own?"
"There not in your bodies. In fact the life support on the devices is the only thing keeping your bodies alive," Janet told them.
Jena looked over at Laeral worriedly, "Then we don't have much time. Without a consciousness for our bodies the devices are only programmed to keep them alive for a short amount of time. It's a failsafe in case there was a mistake in the reviving process, but…
She paused to stare at Jack's hand, "This happening I hadn't anticipated. Obviously my calculations didn't take this possibility into account."
"Isn't she wonderful," Laeral beamed, "She figured the devices out all on her own. She'll be able to fix this."
He leaned over and kissed Jena's cheek.
"Ah, excused us please," General Hammond stalled before he and Janet stepped from the room. Once the door closed he took a deep breathe and shook his head.
"She's right sir," Sam said as she joined them, "The devices from what I can tell won't keep their bodies alive for more than a few hours."
"So where are Dr. Jackson and Colonel O'Neill?" Hammond questioned.
"As far as I can tell they're in their own bodies," Janet concluded, "They just aren't able to access them. Jena and Laeral have control."
"If she knows these devices as well as she says she does, Jena and I might be able to come up with something," Sam suggested.
"All right, get to work. I want everyone in there own bodies as soon as possible," Hammond decided before he walked away shaking his head.
"Yeah," Janet agreed, "before those two decide to do anything more than quick pecks."
Sam agreed and half an hour later she, Teal'c, Janet and the two aliens inhabiting their friends bodies traveled back to the planet and building that the transformation had taken place in.
"What I don't understand," Sam asked as they entered the lab, "is why anyone would bury a lab inside a cave like this."
"It was one of the many questions I had as well," Jena said.
"You don't know?" Janet asked.
"Then the technology is not yours?" Teal'c added.
"No, it was found," Laeral said, "My team found it. That's how I met Jena, she was one of the scientists brought in to interpret the room, to decide what its use was."
Jena nodded as he ran Jack's hand over a console. She brought up a few readouts and with a frown went to their bodies. They were tall, both at least seven feet with dark black hair and pale purple skin. She touched a wall unit and made several adjustments as she mentioned, "I had my hand in several projects."
"You were one of the best, one of the smartest of our people," Laeral told her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug. Jena leaned into him with a sad smile.
"And look where it's brought us," she said sadly.
"It could've been worse," he reminded.
"How so?" Sam asked.
"One of the artifacts that I was asked to look at proved to be a piece of technology that our 'Gods' regularly used to show how much more powerful they were. Once broken down it was obvious that they were simply a more technically advanced species. When I made this conclusion I was accused of heresy."
"They were going to sacrifice her and offer me up as a gift to the 'Gods'" Laeral told them with a shudder, "But Jena knew how to save us."
"The other scientists wanted to test these devices, very few people knew of their location so I arranged for us to be its first test subjects," Jena frowned.
Laeral hugged her again, then kissed her. She touched the wall panel.
"The destruction of your world could have been retaliation," Teal'c pointed out.
"No," Jena shook her head, "The High Council hadn't made a report yet. They'd only accused me and gave us sentences. They meant my execution to be a show, a surprise."
Laeral squeezed her hand. She smiled at him sadly before walking slowly back over to the console she'd been at before. She turned to find Sam and Janet paused, openly staring at her.
"Is there a problem?" she asked.
Sam shook her head as Janet held back a laugh.
"Sorry," Sam managed, "I'm just not used to seeing Jack sashay his hips like that."
Jena gave them a faint smile and shook her head looking down.
"I too found it odd, but felt it wise not to say anything," Teal'c agreed.
His words were enough to allow all five to laugh at the strange situation.
"I believe I've found what we need," Jena decided when she'd gotten control of herself again. She changed several of the readouts on the consul then waited for Sam to join her.
Sam went over what she'd done and said, "That looks right."
Jena told Laeral where to stand. They put there hands on a panel of the wall. Then Jena asked Sam to move two buttons. The machine whirled, clanged and then Jack and Daniel slide to the floor. The stasis tubes that were holding Jena and Laeral's bodies opened.
Janet rushed over. Jack groaned and blinked up at her. Daniel groaned and shook his head. Jena sat up and sashayed over to where Sam was standing.
"I believed it worked," the tall woman said, "At least I am in my own body once again."
"I am as well, my love," Laeral agreed as he stood.
"Yeah, same here," Jack said with another groan.
Daniel just shook his head and began to stand. He gave Jack a worried look.
"Oh don't look at me like that. You didn't have a woman in your body. You didn't sit on your lap," Jack told him.
Daniel hid a smile and shook his head.
"Colonel, you remember everything?" Janet asked.
"Well duh," Jack told her.
"It was like watching a movie. I could see everything that was happening, even feel it, but I had no say over my actions," Daniel told her.
His statement caused both Jena and Laeral to apologize profusely. The whole incident itself took several days to sort out. Information was exchange, the devices shut down and both aliens decided to remain on their home planet to discover the mystery of what happened to their people. Neither Jena or Laeral seemed to suffer from their time in Jack and Daniel's bodies.
After a week of avoiding each other and both Jack and Daniel decided they had to try and rebuild their tarnished friendship.
"After all if we're not friends," Jack pointed out, "this whole team thing isn't going to work."
That's how Jack found himself pushed uncomfortably into the cushions of his own couch later that night. He glanced at Daniel out of the corner of his eyes. His friend, repeat only friend, was huddled on the other end of the couch, hugging a pillow and looking as miserable as he felt.
Usually by now they'd be in the middle of the couch, comfortable and half all over each other.
Tonight was supposed to be about reclaiming their friendship. It was suppose to be male bonding at its best! He was a man, dammit, Jack reminded himself. He was not some shy, sweet, overly intelligent female alien. He was as manly as they came, even if he hadn't managed to fully rid himself of that sashaying thing Jena did. Annoyed Jack shut off the TV.
"This isn't working," Daniel stated in the quiet that followed.
"Oh really? Cause I was under the mistaken impression that it was."
Daniel gave him a bemused look, "Jack, don't be an ass."
"I got taken over by a woman who couldn't keep her damn hands off you," Jack pointed out, "That gives me more than enough reason to…"
"Taking it a bit to far?" Jack asked.
"Just a bit," Daniel smiled, "It was only for a few hours."
"But oh how those few hours have screwed with us," Jack pointed out.
"They have," Daniel agreed.
"I got used to touching you," Jack admitted with a glanced towards their reflections in the TV. There, he'd admitted it and all Daniel gave him in return was a soft chuckle.
"What?" he demanded.
"You weren't always in my personal space before?" Daniel asked with that cheeky 'I'm pointing out something you already know' look,
Jack wet his lips. That look was always a turn on, but now that he knew what Daniel's lips tasted like, how they felt, it was even more of a turn on.
"That was different," Jack groused.
Daniel raised an eyebrow.
"You're not helping," Jack pointed out.
"All Laeral did was love Jena even more when she pointed things out to us," Daniel said as he threaded their fingers together. Jack stared down as their joined hands. He tightened his hold.
"And since you play as though you're not as intelligent as you are," Daniel continued, "How am I supposed to do the same?"
Jack smirked, then tried to look innocent. Daniel shook his head with a slight smile.
"It's not working, huh?" Jack tried.
"No," Daniel agreed.
Jack nodded, "Right then."
That said Jack closed the distance between them, settled himself on Daniel's lap, knees on either side of him. Jack felt himself relax just that bit more as Daniel's hands settled around his waist. It was strange how that felt so normal after Laeral and Jena.
"How bout you be the really smart on that turns me on?" Jack proposed.
Daniel attempted to give Jack a disapproving look, which only caused Jack to smile.
"Every time I try to explain something you always insist that I talk really fast," Daniel pointed out.
"Only so I have less time to think about doing this," Jack revealed as he leaned in and kissed his best friend. Daniel reciprocated, his hands moving from Jack's waist to cup Jack's face. As Jack began to pull away Daniel recaptured his lips, continuing the kiss.
Jack kissed Daniel's forehead when he pulled away. Daniel smiled.
"Can't not keep doing that after having had that," Jack said.
"Somehow, somewhere in there you made sense," Daniel teased.
"Hey," Jack shrugged with a grin before Daniel pulled him into another kiss.
"Think this is working out," Daniel managed between kisses.
"It is," Jack agreed.
He might not have gotten rid of that sashay, but that would come with time. As long as he had still had Daniel he would find a way to get over that fact that a female so much taller than him had taken over his body.