Harry jumped up onto the back of Haldir's chair, tail flipping slowly in amusement. "I like him," The cat announced rather needlessly.
Haldir glared. "You would," he shot moving to sit in the chair Harry was perched on.
"Oi, just because you have a stick up your ass..." Harry trailed off, green eyes trained on him meaningfully.
"What would I be doing with a stick there, pray tell?"
"Well, you're gay and judging by your icy front I'd say who haven't had some for quite some time. Never would've pinned you as a bottom though."
"Gay... some? What are you talking about?"
Harry jumped down and pranced to the door, never bothering to look back as he answered. "It's slang Haldir, I could spend all day teaching you but I really don't think you'd pick it up."
"I'm sure." The elf replied, turning slightly in his seat to find where the cat had run off to only to find myself staring at the kitten's raised rear. He shook it slightly from side to side, before jumping straight up and flinging himself into the doorknob. It was pulled down by the kitten's slight body weight and the door opened with a low screech. Haldir watched in slight horror as the kitten made to leave, his mind flooding with possible chaos that could and would be caused by the little evil fur ball.
Haldir made a noise, somewhere between a choke and a strangled yell as he leapt over the back of his chair and placed himself solidly between the kitten and the door. "Where do you think you're going?" The blond demanded, leaning down slightly to bring his scowling face into the cat's line of sight.
"I wanna go explore!"
"You want to go hunt down a chew toy."
"I want to go hunt down a mouse."
"You want to hunt down Seriphan."
"That's a bitch, not a mouse."
The blond blinked slowly, unconsciously standing at his full height as he tried to puzzle out the meaning of Harry's spin of words. He could ask, but the last thing he wanted to do was give the annoying kitten more ammunition. A bitch was female dog, but how was that an insult? Dogs… dogs… dogs… Wait, hadn't Merry once referred to a particularly aesthetically challenged girl as a dog? So, by calling Seriphan a bitch Harry was calling her a dog, which was in turn calling her unappealing?
Haldir turned his gaze down to ask why Harry would call an obviously attractive (although admittedly unpleasant) woman ugly, only to find the kitten absent. He'd been tricked... by a kitten. There was something terribly insulting to his pride about that and Haldir didn't have to think too hard on it to find what he found so displeasing.
He growled low in his throat, stalking out the door, pausing only to glance to the left and right before taking off towards Lord Celeborn's usual haunt.
Harry peeked around the doorframe where he'd hidden, to watch Haldir's retreating back until he could no longer see it. The cat grinned in a rather terrifying manner, a strange hissing noise created by the rapid release of his breath through his teeth. He trotted in the opposite direction, his tail swinging happily through the air.
It was the first time in a while that Harry could remember feeling his age, but at this moment he felt light, happy, and carefree. He almost felt like skipping, but wasn't entirely sure how the mechanics of such a thing would work in his present form.
"Speaking of mechanics," Harry mumbled as he came to the top of an impressive flight of stairs. His tail dropped and his ears angled down and back as the kitten retracted into himself. Each stair was several inches taller than him and made (or at least looked to be made) of polished marble, the least paw friendly surface known to cat kind. He scooted forward slowly, feeling rather like he was on ice, rather than solid rock. Slowly he turned, sliding his rear legs towards the edge first and pausing before very carefully pushing the past the edge. The moment his lost the support beneath them the whole lower half of his skinny little body went over and, with the complete lack of friction between his front paws and the floor, the front half was fast to follow. Harry landed with a loud and uncomfortable plop on the next stair down, disoriented and slightly dizzy but fine none the less.
Lifting his head to glance around, Harry was thrilled to find himself on the stair he'd been aiming for. Hugging his frame as close to the floor as possible, Harry wiggled and pushed until he fell over the side into a pile of fur. He pushed and wiggled his way down four more stairs until the twisted little method he'd developed went slightly wrong.
Harry, having grown cocky with his last six successful endeavors, rolled onto his back and braced his more powerful back paws against the last stair he'd flopped over. Pushing hard in the hopes of going over two stairs at once, Harry apparently underestimated his own strength. Rather than safely flopping down the stairs he went flying, rolling head over hind down the whole set. He landed on his feet, head swimming. Shaking his head wildly to try to dissipate the dizziness, Harry stumbled forward. His vision cleared just in time for him to pitch headfirst towards a closed door. Rather than hitting, however, Harry fell straight through. His uninterrupted momentum kept him moving and falling, through a floor he would have sworn was solid.
Yowling in surprise and fear, Harry fell through a number of rafters, another rather solid looking floor, and yet more rafters before making a safe landing on an unoccupied bed. Shocked and scared, the kitten shivered, burying his head in the clean white linens dressing the bed. He let out a shaky breath, eyes clamped shut and tail tucked down as Harry attempted to calm himself with the scent of the room he'd fallen into.
"Harry? Harry! Please Harry, please."
Harry snapped up, glancing around wildly, looking for the source of the call.
"Harry, there you are."
Cold hands lifted him from the bed without effort, holding Harry inches from a face he knew well.
"What are you doing down here?" Haldir asked, as slender brow rose.
"I was sleeping," the kitten quipped, careful to allow none of his previous fear to show. Haldir, although exceptionally kind to him, would not and should not be concerned with this.
"Why couldn't you do that in my rooms?"
"Beeeeccaaauuusssssseeee," the kitten answered, stretching the word obnoxiously in whining. "You like to pet me when I'm somber. Not that I'm complaining but have you ever tried to get to sleep when someone was lavishing attention on you?"
"Well you do!"
Haldir smirked lightly, drawing Harry safely against his chest. "I did not deny it, I simply surprised you know the word."
A.N. Hello lovies! In honor of my 18th b-day (which was the 14th) I will be updating every single story I have posted here with in the next week! I will also be uploading a few new ones from my monster list of bunnies - chosen for you by my new beta Kanika Keket, who rocks for editing this and for shifting through all my insane ideas. ^.^ I hope you all enjoy!