(Summary: Hello everyone! From the loser who brought you another fic that was never historically significant, comes a tale of how the Smashers at Smash Mansion learned the many unique personalities of their comrades and adversaries. It's told mainly through the crazy antics of everyone's favorite Bad-ass Black-Ops secret agent, Solid Snake, and everyone's favorite Aura, um… Kangaroo? Fox? Jackal thingy, uh yeah we'll just go with Lucario, who unfortunately gets stuck as Snake's roommate.)
(A/N: I'll go with the format of introducing each personality separately, which I will name the chapter an adjective of the personality, followed by a related noun. And give a brief bio of what their story is in the fiction, not their actual canonical story. Then followed by a quote that they would probably say. I'd like feed back on this format in the reviews please.)
Thanks to The Earth Alchemist and Dane Tesston for being good MGS fans, and thanks to Shadow-Rukario-chan34276 for at least giving my story a chance and for being the small amount of people who reviewed my earlier story.
(Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, except the story and my auto-pilot imagination.)
Oh, the people you'll meet.
A clone of the legendary, most bad-ass Black-ops dude ever, Naked Snake. He was once hailed as the hero who'd saved the world, now damned as the villain that would destroy it. Now framed, he lost the authorities by moving to the Alaskan wilderness. He specializes in explosives and handguns, and taking down giant bipedal robots that fire nukes and all sorts of other fantastic bull-crap.
"Breaking down the fourth wall, one stud at a time."
The Alaskan tundra seemed so pristine, tonight. It was the cold, slightly dull mixture of blue and white that almost all forms of snow carry, and though the light in the area lingered, white ice sheets protrude into the darkness, dividing it with a white horizon. All, of a sudden, a barrage of moving creatures moved through the snow relentlessly, with chains attached to them, they formed a perfect grid, and behind them, was a medium-sized sled with a man hooded in several layers of clothes. His breath highlighted in the blistering cold, face unseen, and vision disrupted. It seemed all was in order as he held on to the rubber grips on the back of the sleigh. To the man, it seemed like paradise. No one to tell him what to do, no caring for others, just a man and his sled dogs, husking it out in the wilderness, it was perfect. That is, until a loud ringing sound completely ruined it…
"What the hell?" the figure snorted, obviously pissed.
(A screen opens, showing the hooded man in a picture with on the right side, and another man on the other side that looked pretty dorky and like he regularly attended Gundum conventions, and he had glasses on that slide down his nose every time he tilts his head in the smallest manner, even when he tilts his head UP.)
"Hey Snake! I go--" The other man started when he was cut of by the hooded man.
"Otacon, I thought I told you to NEVER call me on the CODEC again! Not after last time." Snake yelled.
"Hey, I'm sorry, gosh Snake, How was I supposed to know you were hiding in the girl's bathroom?"
"I wasn't doing what you were thinking, uh.. um… it was totally Meryl's fault!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just listen Snake, you know that game Super Smash Brothers?"
"Uh.. It's that Nintendo thing right?" Snake answered, kind of bored.
"Yes! Well it seems you've been invited to join them in the Brawl tournament."
"Hold on, you want me, a retired Black-Ops Bad-ass, who has possibly gone senile, and deserves to be left alone in the wilderness of Alaska, where idiots can't call him with radios attached to his skulls, to go with a bunch of hooligans and fight?" Snake retorted. "And the fact that I'm in a different Dimension kind of ruins it too, not all the way, but just a little bit."
"But Snake, you could fight alongside the most well-known group of mascots… ever! Including Mario, c'mon, you know you've always wanted to beat up Mario."
Snake chuckled to himself. Then Otacon continued on.
"Can you imagine, Snake? We'll be famous!"
"We already are famous, as a matter of fact, we're WANTED!!, remember the tanker incident?"
"Oh yeah… well then why don't we just join the Super Smash Bros?" Otacon asked.
"My god Otacon, This is SONY, There's absolutely NO way we're getting to the Nintendo universe." 'What the hell does he think this is? An effin' Fan-Fic?' Snake thought at the same time.
"Well this invitation says that they will have all the explosions, food, and cardboard boxes you could ever want!"
"What was that last one?" Snake propped up.
"Uh… Cardboar--" Otacon restated until he was cut off, by Snake running into the room in which Otacon was currently in, with his sneaking suit on.
"I'll do it!" Snake stated confidently.
The fact that he could run to the United Nations Headquarters from Alaska, get dressed, and disappear off the CODEC, which was implanted into his skull nonetheless, in the time it takes someone to say 'Cardboard' is simply astounding, and aggravating too.
"Snake, How did you-, I mean weren't you just in-"
"What are you talking about?" Snake asked, kind of dumbfounded.
"How the hell did you get here so fast?"
Snake blankly stared around the room.
Otacon was obviously not amused that Snake had some form of teleportation power when it came to offerings of all-you-can-hide-in Cardboard boxes.
Snake decided to continue before some unanswerable questions arose "So how do we get there?"
Otacon took out a flat, small white box, with a large slit in the side and put it on the table
"So what is it?" Snake asked, kind of ticked off that bringing out a box completely failed to answer his question.
"It's the forbidden console Snake, can you feel its strange properties?" Otacon asked, all mystified.
Otacon picked up a chair and hit Snake over the head with it.
"NO, it's a Nintendo Wii you idiot." Otacon stated.
"Oh, uh, yeah, lets go then." Snake agreed, while rubbing the large bump he had on his head by now.
"What about all of your gear?"
"I always carry it with me." Snake answered, in which Otacon wondered how he was supposed to shower.
Otacon then picked up the invitation card and removed a disc with a crosshair, that intersects in the bottom left corner of the CD, and has 'Super Smash Bros. Brawl' written on it. He slid it into the slit on the side of the box and the slit's opening flashed a neon blue. They waited until the screen loaded, and loaded, and loaded.
"What the hell is it loading?" Snake hissed.
"Apparently the main menu." Otacon answered.
"Oh COME ON, the NES was faster than this…" Snake said, annoyed.
The marvelous machine finally loaded… the game and channel page! Otacon picked up the Wiimote and spent 15 minutes and 32 seconds trying to guide the cursor onto the brawl screen.
"Curses!, as a Sony character, any Nintendo-related thing I touch goes haywire!" Otacon yelled, obviously watching just too many cartoons.
"Hold on." Snake said as he grabbed the Wiimote and chucked it at the window, in which sent the machine so haywire, that the cursor landed perfectly upon center of the brawl screen, and as it hit the window, the Wiimote's start button was pushed, and the screen turned black, to reveal… You guessed it, ANOTHER loading screen!
"So Snake, how did you know that throwing the Wiimote and smashing the window was going to work since we aren't Nintendo characters?" Otacon asked, rather impressed.
"Huh? No, there was a fly on the window and I didn't want my to get my gloves messy." Snake answered, rubbing his precious gloves.
"Moron" Otacon muttered under his breath.
After the most spectacular wait in the history of loading screens, the machine's neon blue quickly and efficiently consumed the entire room.
Snake rubbed his head, still noticing a bump from the "Chair incident of 2008". Yeah, Snake likes dramatically naming the smallest events 15 minutes after they happened. He had his own storyline and cast, and a record deal for the soundtrack too, but we aren't getting into that. Snake looked up to notice he wasn't in the U.N. headquarters anymore, by looking at the numbers were arranged on the doors and how many doors there were, it was obvious that this was
"… A cheap motel!" Snake answered without a second thought.
Not quite, the doors were all made up of mahogany, and the doorknobs copper in color, with a luscious shine. Otacon was also no longer with him. Snake had a note taped on his chest that said
'Solid Snake, Your room is number 140.85'
"Hey that happens to be the same number as my CODEC frequency!" Snake said excitingly, completely missing the reference.
Snake glanced up to the door he was situated in front of, which said '140.85' on the top tag, and 'Aura Hall' on the bottom tag.
'It's Metal Gear Solid style Entrance time.' Snake thought as he began crafting his plan
All was peaceful in the empty room of 140.85. The room had the quality as if it had just been made, and inspected within the last week, the scent of paint was also intruding inside of the room. And not a creature make a sound, until..
An explosion engulfed the door and kicked it in the room, straight off the hinges, and a man in a gray sneaking suit jumped a considerable distance to land inside the middle of the room. He landed in a crouching runner position as if he was about to fly off the line of in sprint. He stared at the ground for a few seconds, then dramatically lifted his head in the air, and words appeared out of nowhere as he looked at the screen, tilting his head slowly.
It had gone successfully Snake said to himself, until he realized one very important missing detail, nobody was in the room.
"Damn it, that took me 30 minutes to plan out." Snake huffed, disappointed.
Snake then noticed two beds, one had 'Solid Snake' taped on to it, because who ever prepares Snake's stuff, loves tape. The other bed had a marbleized plaque stating 'Lucario' on it. He stared at it until he came to a realization.
"Cool, I've got an Italian roomy!" then Snake paused when he came to another realization. "Oh crap, that means Mario has another brother."
Snake decided to keep his expectations clear by deciding how the guy was when he actually met him.
Snake looked at the very bare clock on the wall, it was only 3 'o clock, but he wasn't sure if it was A.M. or P.M. now. Nevertheless, Snake wasn't tried anyways, I mean he had the energy to run from Alaska to the U.N. Headquarters in under a second. He decided, he would go exploring, and learn this place, in case he ever made a bad spaghetti joke to his Italian roomy and have to duck out inside a ventilation shaft, just like old times.
"Commencing Operation : Walk around this place aimlessly until I get some answers… Go!"
(A/N: David Hayter is Snake's voice actor, not his real name. I did this because so far, they have always displayed the names of voice actors in the MGS series,
And I can't remember Snake's real frequency from MGS2, and I'm not about to beat half of the game again to find out, so bear with it
Up next to introduce is Snake's victim.. Err Roommate, Lucario!
Read And review please, and tell me how it's doing, It doesn't even have to be critism, I just wanna know if my Humor is funny, a bit too weird, or not aggressive enough, or just plain sucks.)