Bonjour awesome people who havent abandoned me! :] Ok, ok, so i havent really written this story for... like.... a year... and a month.. or two... :] BUT, now i am, and its going to be awesome! So, thanks for staying true to the story and dont forget to REVIEW! :] P.S. I think i made it up to you guys, this chappie is REALLY looooong. :] :]
"Alice, is this really necessary?" I asked as we walked in to Toys R Us.
"Yes Bella. They destroyed my game! My favourite game. Now they must pay."
We walked straight past the greeter and Alice grabbed a buggie.
"Are you really planning on buying that much?" I asked, looking at the size of the cart.
"Yes." Alice replied, zooming down an aisle.
"Ok..." I muttered to myself. I really didnt even want to know what she was planning.
I looked through the aisles until I found a dress up section.
"Well, the boys do need new outfits."
I grabbed a Grim Reaper mask for Emmett, a creepy little girl mask for Jasper, and a Frankenstein mask for Edward.
I went right past the girlie princess outfits, then stopped, thinking about Renesmee.
I wish I had gotten my own cart.
I haden't gone that far had I? I must be pretty close to the front.
I went out of the aisle and saw books.
"Ok... other way."
I turned around and found Stuffed Animals.
"Probably shouldn't bring any of those home...." I said to myself, turning around again.
After twenty minutes, I sat on a computer chair shaped like a flower.
"They should make a GPS for this store." I muttered, looking for my cellphone.
I speed dialed three. Alice.
"Uhh... Hello?" The voice on the phone asked.
"Alice, save me. I have no idea where I am, and...." I stopped, hearing video games in the background.
"Alice, where the heck are you?"
"Oh, uh, some kid challenged me, and I couldnt say no."
I rolled my eyes. Stupid competitive vampires.
"How do I get back to you?"
"well, what quadrant of the store are you in?"
"uh.... like Im really supposed to know that?!"
"Oh. Ok, uh, what section are you in?"
"Uh, something that has weird shaped computer chairs."
"Ok, I know where you are. You beside the flower chair, the baseball chair, or the star chair?"
"Ok, take a right."
This is why I need Alice. She is my GPS.
"Now you should see a whole bunch of GI Joe's."
I scanned the shelves.
"Yup. What now?"
"Kay, go all the way down the aisle, take a right, then you'll see the electronics section. Im in there."
"Ok... Yea, I see it."
"Good, see you soon, I have majour ground to make up! Bye!"
I still fid it weird that Alice would accept a video game challenge, but hey, who am I to judge?
I walked through the arch into the video game section. Emmett and Jasper would love it here. Maybe I should get them something as an apology for this afternoon... I looked through the crazy amount of products, trying to remember what console they had.
"Can I help you?" Some voice asked me from behind.
I spun around a saw Mike Newton.
"What are you doing here?" We asked at the same time.
"Oh, uh, I kind of work here now."He said, looking embaressed.
"What about the sporting goods shop?"
"Oh, yea... I kind of, uh, had issues, so my parents kicked me out. But you look awesome." He said, his eyes tracing up and down my body. "Even better than before."
My eyes went wide. He knew? How could he know?
"Uh.. what... what do you mean... before?" I asked, nervously.
He looked confused.
"Oh, well, you know, you look even better than you did in High school... what did you think I meant?"
Luckily for me, Mike's walkie talkie sputtered.
"Mike, we have a problem. Some crazy lady is making kids cry by beating them at video games. Can you handle it?"
"Yes sir, right away."
Oh god, that 'crazy lady' was probably Alice. Stall Bella, stall.
"Uh, so, Mike," I said, stepping in front of him. "Exactly what kind of trouble did you get into?" I winked at him.
"Oh, uh, you know..."
"No, I don't believe I do."
"Well, kind of like you and Edward."
"Oh! You got married? Why would that be a problem?"
"Oh, no. I, uh, kind of got this girl preggo." He laughed. "And then we got married. Like you and Cullen right?"
I told Edward this is what people would think about us getting married.
"Uhm, no Mike, Edward did not get me 'preggo' before we got married. That happened afterward."
"Oh." He said looking uncomfortable. "Well, I should probably go check on that lady.."
"But..." I said, grabbing his arm. "We haven't talked in so long! Your hair grew!"
Good job Bella. 'Your hair grew'? Awesome.
"Uh, yea." He looked over my body again. "You changed too."
"What do you mean?" I asked, stepping back a step.
"Well, you got, uhm, hot."
If I could have blushed, I totally would have.
"Hey, you even got that blush under con..."
"Mike," I cut him off. "You should probably go deal with that disturbance."
I followed him, having no idea where I was going otherwise.
"Excuse me ma'am," Mike said, tapping alice on the shoulder. "Can I please have a word?"
Alice turned around suddenly and glared at Mike.
"IM BUSY." She screamed, then turned back to the game.
A loud noise game from the screen, along with an explosion and Alice did a victory dance.
"HAH! I beat you again, you little snot kid! HAHAHAHA!!!" She hopped up and down and pointed at the little kid.
"Ma'am, please stop or I will have to restrict you from the video game area."
She stopped her dance and looked at Mike.
"Alice?" He asked, looking surprised.
"Oh... Hey Newton.."
"Uhm, Well, this is awkward." I said, going towards Alice.
"So... how did the whole 'marry Jessica cause her eggo is preggo thing work out?" She asked.
Mike stared. "How did you know about that?"
"Yea, Alice," I whispered. "How did you know about that?"
"Come on Mike. I have facebook. I know things about you that even you dont know."
Well that's a little creepy.
"Uh.. right... Just dont bully the kids anymore okay?" Mike asked before running away.
"Why do they always run away after I say stuff like that?" Alice asked as we walked toward the check out.
"Maybe because you sound like a stalker. And remind me when we get home to block facebook from Renesmee kay?"
We walked to the check out and saw Eric Yorkie bagging in the next lane.
"Is everyone from Forks High working here?" I asked Alice.
"All I know is that Eric, Mike, Ben, and Jessica do," Alice answered, "But who knows, Jessica may be on mat leave."
"Yea, thats starting to get really creepy now."
We unloaded all of the stuff from the buggie onto the checkout counter. For the first time since I left Alice, i noticed what she had in there.
"Alice," I asked, holding up a jar. "What do you need 3 liters of alien slime for?"
she laughed evily. "You'll see Bella... MUHAHAHA."
"Ok..." I said, putting the jar on the counter.
"Two thousand, three hundred thirty three dollars and five cents."
I looked at Alice. "How could you possibly spend so much?!"
She giggled and handed the clerk her platinum card.
"I'll need ID please."
"What?" Alice asked, staring at the clerk. "Do you not think Im Alice Cullen or something?"
"Well ma'am, I need to check, it's for customer safety. So, ID please."
She turned around. "Bella, all I brought was that credit card."
I sighed, "Here, use this one and here's my ID."
"Uhm, do you have a second piece of ID Miss Swan?"
"Hmm Miss who now?"
"Miss Swan. Is that not your ID?"
I looked down at the card I was holding. It was my driver's license... but when the renewed it, they used my old picture and name apparently.
"Oh, sorry, there was a mix up, Im Mrs. Cullen."
"Yea, well, I need to find a card that matches the name on the ID."
"Excuse me, but its all simple. Im Mrs. Cullen, the DMV messed up."
"Can you prove it?" She asked, staring at me
The clerk grabbed the phone. "Security to aisle two, security to aisle two."
"What do you need security for?" I asked, turning around to see that two tall, muscular security gaurds were standing behind us.
"These two dont have matching ID and card. I think they stole this Visa."
"What?!" Alice yelled, grabbing the girl by her shirt.
"Come with us." A gaurd said to me, while the other one grabbed Alice.
"THIS IS INSANITY! I DEMAND TO SEE MY HUSBAND, FATHER, AND BROTHER! HE TOOK 2 YEARS OF MEDICAL SCHOOL AND ONE SEMESTER AT HARVARD LAW!"
Well, I hadn't known that about Edward. But then again, she could be talking about Emmett.. Or not.
"Al, calm down, its a silly misunderstanding."
"No talking punk." The gaurd said, leading us to a tiny jail cell.
"Aw, come on, this is ridiculous."
One gaurd shoved me in, while the other carefully placed Alice down, then ran out before she could attack him.
"Do we at least get our phone call?" I asked, putting my purse on the bottom bunk bed.
"No. you have to stay in there until the police come first. Now, give us your purse."
"I dont think so." I said, pulling it back into my hands.
The gaurd reached his hand in, and grabbed one of the straps. "If you dont want me to break it, give it to me."
I almost laughed. As if I couldn't tear it right out of his hands! I could over power him easily!
But a little voice inside my head thought: but Alice could have easily gotten out of the gaurd's hold before, and she didnt.
I glanced at Alice, and she gave me a look that said 'let go.'
I sighed and handed him my purse.
"Good. Learning to respect the law."
"You're not the law." I laughed. "You a mall cop. Like that movie... what's the guy's name? Paul Blart! Thats what you are. Mall cops are those guys who couldn't become real cops."
"Just for that," The taller gaurd said, rummaging though a drawer. "You can wear these."
Alice scremed when she saw them. They were the old fashioned black and white striped prison outfits that you only saw in movies. They had to be at least 5 years old.
"No." I said, backing away from the suits.
"Yea, well, you have to or we can send you to real jail." He said, opening the cell door. "There's a bathroom right over there."
I picked one up, gave Alice a look and sighed. We had to do this.
"Hey girlie, just because you're pretty doesn't mean you have to be stupid. Turn around."
I did as I was told and felt cool metal slip onto my wrists.
"Seriously? Its not like credit card fraud should be dealt with this severely."
"AHA! So you admit you did it!" The gaurd at the desk yelled.
I sighed. "No, we really didnt do it."
"Well no matter what," The gaurd closest to me said. "You have to wear these. So go." He pushed me towards the bathroom and opened the door.
Ew. Nice bathroom. You could definitely tell that boys used it, it smelled awful. I looked at the handcuffs. I could break out and climb out the window. Hmm, but what about Alice? I could always come for her later... Although, the gaurds had my purse. And my purse had my car keys. Darn. And I couldn't really run along the side of the highway without being seen.
I pulled on the outfit and came out.
The gaurds laughed and Alice stared in horror.
Come on, could it really look that bad? I looked down at myself. Yea, it could.
I walked into the stall, the gaurd took off my handcuffs and then took Alice to change
"oh, excuse me," I said to the gaurd at the desk. "I didn't catch your name."
"Alex." He said, going back to his newspaper.
"Alex. Hmmm, such a hot name. Anyways, Hot security gaurd named Alex, can you find my birth control pills? I forgot to take it today after I ... well, you know." I winked at him.
"Uh.. sure, I guess that would be ok."
"Thanks." I said.
Obviously, I didnt have birth control in there. I didnt need them. Im a vampire. He woud never find them, and I had a plan.
After a couple minutes of searching through my purse, He gave up. "Uh, I cant find them."
"Oh there probably in the secret pocket." I giggled. "Here, just bring it to me and Ill find them."
Alex stood up and brought the purse over to me. Ok, this was gonna be the hard part. I somehow needed to grab my cellphone without him seeing.
I reached up and grabbed his biscep. "Oh my, Alex, do you work out?"
"Uhm, yes ma'am, yes I do."
"I can tell." I reached into the purse.
"Oh, gee. I cant find them. Oh well, Advil works just as well."
Again, another good line, but it was the only think I could think of as a sub in for Birth Control.
"Advil can do that?"
"Only.. uh, child's advil." I said, putting the bottle over the cellphone. I thanked the lord that I kept advil in here in case anything happened to Renesmee.
"Oh, Ill have to tell that to my girlfriend." He said smiling.
I slipped the phone into my bra before he could look and put the advil back in the purse, pretending to swallow a pill.
"Thanks." I said, smiling.
"No problemmo." He said, going to sit at the desk. Then, Alice came bursting out of the bathroom.
"Ok, No. I REFUSE to wear this. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen. CALL MY LAWYER!"She was kicking as the no-name gaurd carried her into the cell.
"Alice," I vamp-whispered to her. "I have a plan. Just stick it out until tonight ok?"
I looked at her and she nodded.
Now all I needed was the cover of nightfall. And preferably some cool Mission Impossible music.
Ok! So I hope you like, NO, loved that chapter. It was really random, I know. But hey, what fun is life/fanfiction without a little dose of random? Ok, maybe more than a little dose. So, I have some news! Some of you may have already gotten this message, but please please please check out my new website! It's all about my fanfics, where they started, some fun facts, info about me, and Q & A page, and even some ductape. So please, please visit it!! here's the link -- .com/bluecrayon1101/fanfic