What I got instead of Power
My name is Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail, also known by any of the profanities that your little minds can come up with. I have read Harry's books, which he dictated to that muggle woman who got them published. I was very surprised to see that Harry toned my begging and crying down a lot. A LOT. I know that you all hate me and hope that I kick the bucket some day soon and that I pay for what I did, and believe me I am. The only reason that I betrayed James and Lily was for power. I'm sure a few of you can understand can't you? No? Oh well it was worth a try. So anyway I betrayed my best friend and his wife for power which I am know starting to regret. If you've read 'A day in the life of Voldemort' or 'Voldemort's Sick Days' then you know what that guy is like. And for all those that hate me out there and wish me a lifetime of torment and suffering, then my tale shall not disappoint you....
I really wish that Harry had minded his own business and let Remus and Sirius kill me. I could still get my wish though. If all this ends soon and Sirius is acquitted of murdering me the first time, then he can come kill me in a crowded place and no one could touch him. Double Jeopardy (There's a movie about that). Not that anyone would care that I'm dead or anything...
Since Barty Crouch Jr. is dead I get to take his punishment, oh joy, bathing Voldemort (shudder). The guy's got a soap for every part of his body. EVERY part if you get my drift hint, hint, nudge, wink. Not only that but he brings his stuffed pink bunny into the bath with him, and he won't stop singing Britney Spears. It gets worse...I then have to robe him when he gets out and do his hair. The Master is also spoiled, if he doesn't get what he wants he uses the Cruciatus Curse, and sometimes he forgets to take it off someone. While I do his hair he watches the Teletubbies. I think he's going to lead us against them next (as if Barney wasn't bad enough...it took us 4 HOURS to take that purple thing down and we suffered heavy casualties). And then to make me suffer more I get to cut his toenails (I think he purposely lets them grow that long) Cutting his nails is like cutting steel with a sponge...impossible. And then for a treat, he tells me that I can read Lucius Malfoy's love letters out loud to him. And of course you are all laughing at me safely in front of your computer screens...whatever those are. And then he makes us dance. Last week it was River Dance. WITHOUT the Imperious Curse. And of course he wants it FLAWLESS (can you say Cruciatus?) I'm still limping, and we can't forget his bedtime musicals now can we? Grease. He's all tuckled into his bed, with pink robe, nightcap, bunny and all. He also likes threatening us to do it right. Lucius Malfoy was cast as Sandy and guess who I was.....guess.........I dare you.............DANNY! That bastard made me be DANNY of all people, I wouldn't have minded if Narcissa Malfoy was Sandy but LUCIUS!
I swear that guy tried to shove his tongue down my throat.... do any of you remember that scene in Grease when they're at the movies? I was sick for a week. My life is hell and I have no power yet. Voldemort said he'd give us power but I don't think I believe him. The guy says a lot of things. Like when he told Bill Clinton that no one would find out about Monica. And then he keeps bragging about how he's going to kill Harry Potter and when. The only time I had ever seen him keep his word was when he gave Evgeni Plushenko voodoo powers to prevent Alexei Yagudin from claiming his 4th World title as #1 in the Men's free skate. Have you ever wondered about Evgeni's weird hippi half-job haircut? Voldemort told him it looked good.
My suffering is endless.

A/N and disclaimer: It has been a long time since I wrote an HP fic. You probably won't get the end unless you're skating fan. I wrote this one really quick so I'd have a HP fic to put up b/c I've been working on my Andromeda fic 'Future Bound' for the past month or two. ~Vee~
HP belongs to JKR