Okay. So this is an idea I've had in my head for a while now, and I finally decided to put it in writing. Work with me okay?
It wasn't that I didn't just want to live anymore. It was more that I couldn't continue with the pain of going on without him. The pain that hurt me so deep-- I couldn't escape from it in this reality, not really. I blinked away the tears that I never fully shed. My eyes had been cried out.
I stood at the edge of the water looking at the waves. It was calm today, making me think carefully over what I was going to do. The wind howled through the little cove and although I wanted to pull my coat closer to me, I did the opposite. I slowly unzipped my coat and laid it very neatly on the beach. Next came my sweater and jeans-- ending with my shoes.
Standing there looking out at the gray expanse wearing only a tank top and underwear I fingered the golden locket around my neck. The gold felt freezing in my hands and I welcomed the temperature-- it matched the feeling of my heart. Just then snow started to fall from the sky that never held sun.
I lifted my head towards the sky and let the snowflakes caress my skin. Slowly, very slowly I walked into the ocean. The water hitting my legs was cold enough that if I'd had any emotions left I would've gasped. But I stayed silent.
Farther and farther I walked into the frigid expanse of water until my feet could no longer touch the bottom. At that moment I felt the tug of an underwater current, like a child pulling on a mother's skirts. It wasn't rapid or terrifying, the tug that pulled me under the gray waters was loving. As I took my last breath I managed to show an expression on my face for the first time in three months.
As the black water entered my throat, my nose, and my lungs. I didn't fight it. I let the rip tide take me. It was why I had specifically chosen this spot.
No Swimming. The sign had read. Rip Tide Currents.
I could feel my pulse slowing, my body fighting to survive and failing.
My lips turned up into a smile.
Fucking Jacob and his high and mightiness. I wandered to the secluded section of the beach I liked to go to whenever stupid people got on my nerves.
Jacob. God. Why did that kid get everything he wanted? It wasn't like he was so fucking perfect. And now he had to fucking imprint on a fucking leech? Or half-leech. Whatever.
I kicked a log out of the way causing it to smash against another tree with a satisfying crack. I walked onto the beach where I normally went to try to get a hold on my anger. I was glaring out at the darkness and swirling snow when I realized someone else was on my beach.
The fucking nerve of that asshole.
I squinted my eyes to make out the figure. And just like that I felt it. The inescapable pull at my heart. And just for a moment I swear, the world stopped. The snowflakes floated motionlessly in front of my eyes and now I could make out the person perfectly.
She wasn't Quileute, most definitely. In fact, she didn't look like she had an once of Native American in her at all. She was so pale, that if not for the scent I would've mistaken her for a bloodsucker. A cascade of silver curls swirled around her in the breeze. She was absolutely tiny, a girl in miniature. Never was a girl so not my type.
And yet…yet, I knew. I had imprinted on this tiny girl-like fairy thing. And just as I came to this realization time moved forward.
She walked out towards the ocean and I stood in shock-- frozen to the sand. My heart grew cold as I watched her enter the water and just a few seconds later be swept under from the current.
Fucking girl. Hadn't she seen the signs warning about the currents?
But, although I was furious with this girl something forced me to run towards her. I sprinted as fast as inhumanely possible and entered the water seconds after she went under.
I found her, but not soon enough. She was unconscious. I pulled her out of the water and laid her on the beach. She wasn't breathing.
I bent my lips to hers grateful for once for the health class I was forced to take in high school. I let my hot breath go into hers.
She didn't respond and I swore. I just fucking found the girl I was meant to be with and she was going to die? Hell no. I placed my hands on her rip cage and pressed down gently a few times before returning back to her mouth.
She sputtered and coughed, water pouring from her mouth. She was breathing but didn't wake. I didn't know what to do. I had to get her somewhere else--somewhere warm--I pressed her tiny body to my bare chest and ran towards Emily and Sam's house.
I crashed through the door not caring what damage I did. I was frantic with worry. My frenzied eyes focused on Seth and Collin who were sitting on the couch near the heater.
"Fucking. Move." They didn't respond quickly enough for me and I shoved both of them out of the way sending them flying in opposite directions.
"Paul, what's going on?" Sam's voice sounded concerned. I ignored him and Seth and Collin. I put the girl on the couch and hurriedly turned the heater on full blast. I rounded on Sam who stood there with shock on his face.
"Blankets," I managed to choke out for fear of phasing. I was shaking so bad but I wouldn't--couldn't phase so near to her.
Seconds ticked by and finally Sam returned with a mountain of blankets. I placed all of the blankets on top of the girls body. It was no longer still, instead it was wracked with shivers. I laid on the floor next to her holding her hand and watching. The room became stifling and sweat poured down my back but still I didn't leave her side.
Soon after her shivers stopped and she settled into a slumber. I felt her forehead with my hand. Even by my standards she was burning with a fever.
"Will you explain?" It was Sam. He sat across from me in a chair. His expression was one of concern.
I grimaced at him but looking at the girl who slept peacefully in his couch I decided to merit his question with an answer. There was really no need to defy his authority anymore considering he had none. Jacob had fairly replace him as pack leader.
"She…she walked into the ocean. Down where the rip tides are," I felt Sam suck in a breath, "I don't know. I just-- I imprinted on her. And she was so cold, this was the only place I could think of to take her. I'm sorry."
Sam and I looked at each other. I knew what we were both thinking. There was no way that girl could've not seen the signs warning about the currents. They were big and they lined the beach. She had gone into the water knowingly. She had wanted to die.
I stared down at the girl who slept on the couch. Her eyelashes were surprisingly long and dark for someone with such a fair complexion. I wanted to kiss her but refrained. She didn't know me I had to keep reminding myself.
Just great that the girl I imprint on wants to die. God must be laughing at me. What a fucking joke.
She murmured and shifted on the couch and instantaneously all my attention was on her. Her eyes fluttered and opened. I stared down at her and felt Sam's presence beside me.
Her eyes were light just like her skin and hair. An impossible shade of gray. Her little eyebrows frowned. And then she smiled revealing a dimple in her left cheek.
That smile was so beautiful that it made me ache to kiss those perfect pale lips. Her mouth parted and she spoke in a voice that was weak and raspy.
"I knew that I'd see you in heaven, Mikasi." She spoke so softly I almost didn't catch what she said. I started at the name she had used. She smiled again and then her eyes closed. She was asleep.
Mikasi. She had mistaken me for a man named Mikasi. I wondered why I felt so upset that she hadn't said my name-- I hadn't told her my name and yet I was inexplicably jealous of a stranger I had never met.
"Mikasi. That's a tribal name," Sam said sitting back in his chair, "yet, she's clearly not Native American."
I grimaced. What Sam said was true. Did that mean she already had a boyfriend on the Rez? Surely not. I'd never heard of anyone with the name Mikasi. I scoffed at the name, it meant Coyote. What a weak name-- a scavengers name. And yet…she spoke that name with such love, affection and sadness. Who was this strange little person that I had irrevocably fallen in love with? I settled on the floor against the couch and shut my eyes; I was tired from the anger and frustration I had dealt with today. Tomorrow hopefully I would learn what this strange girl's name was and who Mikasi was. But for now I would just sleep next to the girl I loved.
Soooo thats where im going with this. If you dont like it...oh well...it's just an idea i've had rolling around in my head for a few weeks now. i would LOVE to hear from you...so REVIEW. got it?