Disclaimer: I own nothing of the NCIS world. It's a pity. A real shame. Oh, also own nothing of the Playboy publishing empire (had to put that in there for the brief mention later)

AN: The only ship in this fic is friendship (cue the groans at the stupid pun)

Deep Six: The Movie

When Tony DiNozzo strolled into the bullpen with a grin on his face and whistling a happy tune, Timothy McGee was worried.

Over the years that they had worked together, McGee had been cataloging Tony's various grins (out of self defense) and the one that DiNozzo wore now was a strange mix between 'I'm really, really happy' and 'I have something to torture McGee with' – the differences between the two were very subtle, but they were there. As DiNozzo gave a very chirpy 'Good Morning' to the two agents already at their desks, McGee's trepidation grew. "Where is our fearless leader this fine and wonderful morning?"

"…in MTAC. Why are you so happy?"

"Because the world is a shiny, happy place, Probie. By the way, you will never guess what I saw when I was watching the news last night."

"Wait. You watch the news?"

"Yes Ziva, I watch the news. This is not just a pretty face you know."

"Was it CNN? I saw that piece on the declining state of the education system and found it most interesting."

"…Okay, so it was the Entertainment news and the channel that it was on doesn't really matter right now. But like you, I saw something interesting as well."

"And what was that Tony. They have announced the latest Miss America?"

"No, that's next week. And personally, my moneys on Miss Idaho."

"Well, as fascinating as this is…"

"Patience is a virtue, Agent David."

"Who said I was virtuous, Agent DiNozzo?"

"…Good point. Anyway, guess which best selling writer has just sold the rights of his NCIS-based novel to a major motion picture studio?"

Tony's grin grew even wider and Tim sat frozen in his seat as Ziva slowly turned to face him. "Why did you not tell us that they were making a movie of your book?"

Watching as Ziva stood up and slowly stalked across the bullpen towards him, idly playing with the letter opener that she had been holding, McGee could only stammer a reply. "I…I never really thought that...that they would…I mean, my book…the deal was only signed yesterday!" Tim trailed off, mesmerized by the movement of the dagger-like object in the hands of the trained Mossad agent now standing next to him.

"Stand up."

"S…stand up?"

"You heard the lady, Probie! Stand up!"

As he rose slowly from his seat, McGee kept his gaze firmly on the letter opener, praying that she wouldn't use it to decapitate him. He didn't know if it was himself or Tony who was more surprised when she proceed to put down the letter opener, lean over and gently hug him.

"Mazeltov, Timothy. Congratulations."

And with that, she gave him a brilliant grin, went back to her desk and carried on with her work leaving a smiling Tim and a dumbstruck Tony. Realizing after a couple of seconds that she had heard nothing more from her colleagues, she looked up to see that McGee had sat down again and was now smiling at his computer, but Tony was still standing up, staring at her.


"…You hugged him."


"…but, you hugged him!"

"I offered him congratulations, as any good friend would do, DiNozzo."

"…but…you hugged him! You never show affection to anyone! Why don't I get an occasional hug?!"

"Tony, the day you have your written work published anywhere outside of the Playboy Letters to the Editor section, I will hug you. Okay?"

Ignoring the snickering coming from behind McGee's computer screen, Tony grumbled as he went back to his desk. Muttering about the unfairness of teammates in particular and life in general, he suddenly perked up as a thought crossed his mind.

"Hey! Who do you think will play me in the movie?"


AN: Well….what do you think? Should I leave it there or should I expand it into a story about how the NCIS team react to what they hear coming out of the movie set? So many possibilities! Also, Mazeltov is Hebrew for congratulations (Thanks ME Wofford!).