August 19, 2008

Today is my birthday! I'm twenty-five!

Twenty-five? I feel much older than that.

People at twenty five go out, have fun, have "normal" friends. They have an actual life and an entire future to look forward to.

I'm lucky I'm still alive. After last year I can hardly believe I'm here, writing this entry.

This morning I woke up and Jack told me I had a wrinkle. I think he wanted revenge because last week I spotted a new grey hair.

He was freaking out!! I swear, he's so gay.

I don't mind a wrinkle, I think my body is too young compared with what I've experienced.

I can't wait to look a bit older, a bit more mature.

This year no big party. Not like last year.

I mean, we miss Tosh and Owen and we're still grieving our losses. I don't feel comfortable celebrating my life when not so long ago two of my best friends died.

So, tonight is Jack and me. Just the two of us.

Jack said he had a surprise for me. Last time he said that it was all a bit sticky and uncomfortable, but I think he has something sweet planned.

He can be surprisingly affectionate when the mood strikes.

He's been a bit emotional around me today, he had that funny look on his face and I know he's scared of seeing me age.

Sometimes I wish he could age, because I don't want him to wake up next to an old me one day.

Right this is supposed to be my birthday! I should be happy and glad to be alive, and I am!!

PS : Gwen got me a coffeemug with a picture of me on it! I love Gwen, I really do, but she needs a private Shopping Assistant !!