Suena: I dont own Inuyasha
Pain crossed my chest, an ache that had me gasping for breath. My heart felt constricted, my body begun to shake as if I was going into a panic attack.
"Rin." Sango nudged me, it wasn't a rough movement in the least, yet it had me toppling over.
"Are you okay?" Kagome asked looking in the direction I was staring, she took in a sharp breath, then stood up stiffly, hands set defiantly on her hips.
Sango smirked at the approaching men.
"Hey Sango,….Kagome." Inuyasha greeted his eyes assessing Kagome from top to bottom.
"Hey Sango, your looking fine girl." Miroku gave a low whistle and circled the tall brunet before winking at her.
A deep blush erupted upon her face, "Idiot."
I tried to turn around and walk away before he showed up, I tried to sneak away before I had to feel the full impact of seeing him, but it was too late.
"Um so I'm going to go to the bookstore real quick. I'll meet up with you guys in a sec. okay?" I said backing away.
Turning I ran smack into a hard, yet soft, warm, chest. My heart quickened, I knew this chest, I had run into so many times, I knew the scent Polo cologne with a hint of something else, never was quit sure. I lost my breath when a pair of hands gripped my shoulders and pulled me away.
I wanted to smack them away, just so I could stay in that embrace for just a bit longer, but knew all too well of the consequences that would come from that. I let them pull me away.
The heat rushed up to my cheeks and I begun to apologize, "I'm sorry Sesshomaru! I'm sorry!"
He fixed me with a hard stare.
Immediately I stopped talking and walked back to the others. Sesshomaru pushing me forward his palm on the small of my back.
I could feel a new blush cross my rosy cheeks.
Thoughts raced across my mind, pictures of us raced across my mind.
I couldn't allow him to keep touching me, otherwise my heart was bound to fly out of my chest and through the ceiling. My nerves were shot to hell and I felt like I couldn't even stand.
I walked faster and stepped to the side out of his reach.
Sesshomaru glared at me his eyes scrutinizing me, my short legs unhidden by my usual pants, why did I pick today of all days to wear shorts, my torso not as thin as most girls, my hair, short, shoulder length dull brown, bangs over grown, having been uncut for three weeks they were always in my eyes as they were now, and finally my face, big cheeks, large light brown eyes (my only good feature) and a stubby little nose with a stubborn chin.
I wasn't much to look at, hell I was as normal looking as it got, painfully normal at times.
My heart fell to my stomach when he dismissed me in the blink of an eye.
Of course. I wasn't expecting a standing ovation or anything like that, just hoping.
What was I thinking anyway? He was in love with Kagura, a senior that was currently dating Naraku, the schools all around wiz and all around star basket ball player.
She was beautiful, short hair that framed her fairy like face, a small sculpted nose, with deep hazel eyes that looked almost maroon in some light. She had no flaw a graceful body, the one a dancer needs, a ballet dancer, and she came with boobs unlike most ballerinas!
I couldn't even hate her because, well she rocks.
She helps Kagome Sango and I out whenever were in a bind, gets us all invited to parties and enjoys making us all laugh.
So really what comparison am I to THAT?
Startled I looked up at Sango and smiled, "Hey what's up?"
"Well nothing much sleeping beauty except that we have to go, come on. Inuyasha is having a party tonight and said were all invited." She pulled me out of the mall Kagome hot on our trail.
That night I sat looking at myself in the dresser mirror. My glasses were replaced with new contacts, while my shorts and shirt were traded in for a pair of Levi's and a button up baby blue shirt. I smiled though tears were silently sliding down my cheeks. 'As always, this is as good as it's gonna get.' I thought before wiping away the tears and smiling.
Kagome sat on her bed, as she applied her finishing touches to her make up.
When she looked up I felt envy overthrow my heart. "Oh Kagome, you look so pretty! Inuyasha is going to fall over himself when he sees you!" I gushed grinning.
She looked at me an expression of pity on her beautiful face. "Rin, speaking of falling over yourself, what happened to you today?"
"Yeah, you were fixing to ditch us right there! Is…is it because of Sesshomaru?"
Shame, "I'm sorry guys. I just, I didn't want to see him." I looked around at each of their faces, pity.
Pity was all I saw.
"Rin, you know maybe I can introduce you to Kohaku, my younger brother, I mean he is a little bit younger than you but only by a month!" Sango exclaimed looking me dead in the eye.
"Oh that sounds like a great idea, Sango!" Kagome responded throwing her hands up.
I looked at the two girls, both were striking beauties, both had all they wanted within their grasp, then I turned and stared at myself in the mirror once more.
I had nothing, I was nothing.
I didn't come from a rich family, I didn't have once thing about me that wasn't normal.
Me? Tears stung my eyes once more, I was a monster. I couldn't love, my heart hurt too much to be able to fully love someone. THAT is why Sesshomaru doesn't want me. He didn't deserve me, he never did anything bad enough to have me dumped with him for the rest of his life.
I looked back at Sango and Kagome who both stared at me with expecting eyes.
"No, I don't want another man to break me even more."
"What do you mea-" Sango was cut off mid sentence by a shrill honk.
"That's the guys, come on let's go!" Kagome rushed grabbing both our wrists and all but pushing out of the house and cramming us into Inuyasha's bright red Mustang.
He looked back at us and gave a smooth smile, "Hey guys, ready to go?"
"Yes yes now hurry up and drive." I said waving my hand.
"Hello Sango, Kagome, Rin." Miroku grinned.
The drive was 15 minutes and completely and utterly boring.
Kagome chatted and batted her eyes at Inuyasha the whole ride there, while Sango playfully slapped and flirted and talked with Miroku.
As always I was the fifth wheel.
The house was beautiful, itself but with the climbing vines and Roses surrounding the property it was magnificent.
Three stories with an attic and a pool out back.
Of course with Inuyasha's Dad being a well known Plastic surgeon while his mom was a Brain surgeon this house was probably an easy thing to get.
I smiled and thanked Inuyasha when he opened the back seat for me, but he didn't hear me, in fact I don't think he would have heard anyone or anything at that moment. He was dumbstruck by Kagome.
His eyes gazed adoringly at her, taking in her beautiful curves well curled hair and big doe eyes.
I felt want slap me across my face. Oh how I wanted someone to gaze adoringly and lovingly at me like that.
But I knew what would come of that, the only thing that ever comes from loving someone. Pain.
I looked away from the couple and turned to Sango only to find her wrapped in Miroku's arms her eyes closed her face content, again I felt that all too familiar ache.
I ventured up the steps by myself and knocked.
Kagura answered the door, she too looked like a gem.
Her short hair was pulled back into a bun her bangs framing her heart shaped face, long thick lashes out lining and widening her already big eyes.
"Hello Rin! How are you?" she looked behind me and giggled, "Guess their all a little busy, eh?"
I turned back to my friends and laughed, "Yeah, I'm good and how about you?"
She shrugged and shut the door behind me.
The house was packed, people stood on the dance floor bodies so close together it looked like they were connected.
Kagura had gone back to Naraku and was talking with him so that left me the odd one out once more.
I sighed and went to the kitchen.
Beer was being served.
May as well drink for tonight only, not like you have school tomorrow.' I thought to myself before drinking my first of many beers.
On the third bottle I was thoroughly bored with the party and was walking around the house admiring the pictures and paintings that decorated the large expance of white wall.
I Had made my way up to the attic my beer was long gone, but I hadn't found a trash can to dump it in so I still had it with me. I opened the door and smiled.
A small lamp in the far right corner gave off enough light to see the quaint room.
It was peaceful with paint and paintbrushes stacked on a small table near a vast canvas that had the beginnings of a painting on it. A telescope was fastened by the window that over looked the vast estate that the Taishos owned.
I took a quick peek into it and gasped, the milky way was able to be seen.
Tears pricked my eyes, I had never seen something so beautiful. I smiled and moved it up a little to gaze at the moon.
Startled I jumped up succeeding in knocking over the telescope and making myself lose my balance.
Sesshomaru caught me before I could hit the ground, but sadly he didn't catch the telescope, and now it lay in two peaces on the floor, it's lens lay on the floor a few inches from the body.
"Crap." I jumped out of Sesshomaru's arms and bent down to pick up the two objects. My heart was already pounding.
He staggered as he got up, I then realized that he was drunk.
"Sesshomaru, how many beers have you had?" I asked looking at the chair a few feet away. "Do you want to sit down?"
He growled at me glaring, "Im not drunk Rin." He replied emotionlessly.
I felt a thrill rise up inside my body when I heard that feral growl, but taking another look at him I smiled inside my mind, he was swaying.
"Ah but still, it's a comfy chair!" I sang out chair and hopped up and down showing it's comfortable.
He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, " Rin do not bounce on that chair it's an antique and you might break it." He said rubbing his temples.
I felt my heart throb painfully in my chest, he thought I was heavy enough to break the stupid chair, I wasn't THAT fat! "yeah. Sorry." I murmered getting up.
I walked to the other side of the room and sat on the window sill, it was cold outside, the autumn chill taking effect. I loved it.
Looking at Sesshomaru's reflection in the mirror I felt sadness wash over me.
He could never love me, this man of so many words that were silently spoken through suck expressive eyes.
Sesshomaru looked vulnerable drunk, his hair swaying in the gentle breeze the overhead ceiling fan gave off. I wanted to touch it, to run my fingers through it, to kiss him.
I shook my head chasing away those thoughts when one wormed it's way out and full force into my mind.
Sesshomaru is drunk.
He is not sober
Before I lost my courage I strode over towards him, my hips swaying more than usual while I hoped they gave off the same effect Kagome does when she gives her hips more sway.
He sat in the "antique" chair still rubbing his temples.
I leaned over making sure to huff a gentle breath in his ear, "What are you doing?" I asked placing my hand casually on his shoulder.
I didn't know what I was doing, it was a crazy thought and stupid thing to go through with it.
Sesshomaru stiffened, every muscle within his body freezing.
I felt my rebellious side growl out, "No." I wrapped my arms around his neck in a lose embrace, running my palms over his chest, and then over his shoulders.
He hissed his head falling back.
I felt excitement buzz through my system.
I didn't know how fast Sesshomaru was, one moment he was in the chair the next he was across the room panting his golden gaze fixed on me.
"Little girl, do you know what game your playing?" He growled, his fists clenched.
My courage fled, and I was stripped of my self-confidence.
I felt very ugly in that moment, Sesshomaru sneering at me disgust etched so clearly in his yellow glare.
"I'm sorry." I whispered heading for the door, tears already flowing down my cheeks.
"No." He grabbed me before I could even reach the knob and held me up against the wall, his body mashed up against mine, fitting me in all the right places.
"Oh…" I felt the moan escape me, when he bucked rubbing himself against my thigh, he was aroused.
I blushed as I felt his length pressed tightly to me.
Sesshomaru glared at me, "You started this, were ending it." he murmured, his breath tickling my ear, before he delved his tongue into it.
I felt a jolt of energy and excitement race throughout my body.
He kissed my neck and sucked on my earlobe.
His teeth grazed my bottom lip before he kissed me.
It felt so right, to have him kiss me. His tongue teasing my own, showing me how to kiss.
I'd never kissed anyone in my whole life, it was wonderful, so powerful to feel it.
Of course Sesshomaru has had countless girlfriends so he was probably used to it.
He sucked my bottom lip once more before letting go.
"I've always wanted to do that." He whispered his breath a little ragged.
"Huh?" I asked dazed.
"Suck on your lip," He took my lower lip in his mouth as if to prove a point and sucked it gently.
I moaned and held his face.
He let go and kissed a trail down my neck, it took awhile for me to notice but by the time I did I was already shirtless and soon to be bottomless.
I felt self conscious and grabbed for my shirt once more.
"W-wait!" I got out from beneath him and pulled the sleeves on and buttoned up three of the ten bottons when Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around me in a strangle hold and laid me back down on the floor.
"No Rin." He murmured. His hands pushed my shaking ones away, he kissed me again while he unbuttoned my shirt once more, the pushed the sleeves off.
He closed his eyes when he looked down at me.
I looked away ashamed. My body wasn't beautiful at all to him. I tried to see myself through his eyes and what I saw, I didn't like.
Breast, way to big, and a plump but not chubby or fat tummy. Great. He had to close his eyes in disgust.
A tear slipped out, I couldn't help it.
I had always day dreamed about how it would feel to make love to Sesshomaru, to him though this was just sex, to me right at that moment, it was making love, beautiful passionate love.
He licked away the tear.
Licked it, didn't catch it on his finger and taste it, no he bent down and licked the side of my face.
I blushed. "Sorry."
Annoyance overtook his face, "Stop saying that word, Rin."
"Sor- uh okay." I looked away embarrassed.
He looked into my eyes while his hand ran over my stomach and over my breast.
He squeezed and I saw stars.
"S-Sesshomaru…"I called his name and held onto his arms.
He stared at me before pulling me up against him in a sitting position.
His hands roamed my back and I felt it as he unclasped my bra.
Laying me back down he removed my bra and stared down once again.
I looked into his face, and saw nothing that could tell me of what he thinks of me.
Emotions welled inside me. I had wanted Sesshomaru for so long it was pathetic, and in the end I was getting him for only one measly night.
I would take it.
He leaned forward and lapped my nipple once, and it was all it took for me to call out.
He hushed me clearly amused at my reaction.
Sesshomaru ran the very tip of his finger around my nipple and then grabbing it.
Leaning forward once more he licked around the dark ring the blew cool air successfully making it hard, I reached around grabbing a handful of hair and pulling him to me, he latched on to my breast and sucked.
It was a very intense feeling, and it had me bucking up against him.
Sesshomaru kissed me once more before his hands traveld south.
He unzipped my pants then unbuttoned them.
A new blush surfaced when he pulled down my plain cotton white under wear. I wished I had a pair of sex red panties with a matching bra then.
How odd to feel embarrassed about wearing plain white under garments, I shook off the thoughts and watched.
Sesshomaru took out the rubber band that held my hair back and starred.
I felt a lot of things at that moment, so many emotions swelled inside of me.
I wanted to go hide under a rock, to go and turn out the lamp so he couldn't see me for who I really was.
Nothing could have prepared me for the words that escaped his lips in the following seconds.
"Rin…" He buried his face in my neck inhaling my scent, "you're so beautiful."
I laughed then as sadness crashed inside of me.
I reminded myself that he was drunk and had no idea of what he was saying.
He spread my legs and settled himself between them.
I wasn't expecting him to flip us so the yelp that came out was justified.
"Hush, Rin." He growled glaring at me.
I sat on top of Sesshomaru, his body so touchable, so undeniably handsome, his face held no flaw and here I was sitting on the gods masterpiece!
Leaning to the side I tried to get off, but Sesshomaru held me in place.
"No, Rin." He murmured, running his fingers through my hair and pulling my down towards his mouth.
The kiss was once again explosive and on my part innocent. His tongue coaxing mine out and into his mouth where he sucked on it and then returned it far too early.
He stopped the kiss holding my head in his hands.
That bowled me over.
I begun to tremble all over, I couldn't touch this man, he was too…perfect.
"What?" I asked, maybe I had heard the wrong thing.
Then again, maybe not.
I tried once again to get off but once again Sesshomaru stopped me.
"H-how?" I asked.
He held my wrist in a light but secure hold and pressed it against his throat.
Letting go he let me do the rest.
I pulled off his shirt, he leaned up to get it over his head.
He was breathtaking. Better than any water fall and ocean and sunset and sunrise on the face of the earth.
His chest was a light tan, his abdomen a maze of expanse muscle and power.
I had to touch it, I couldn't help it. My hands had minds of their own, one was tracing his stomach muscles while another was gently gripping his biceps.
I looked up to him but was surprised, his eyes were closed.
He had just called out to me.
I felt happy then so content.
I laid down pressing my cheek against his breast bone listening to his heart.
'He's not yours for the taking, only for tonight.'
The thought crossed my mind so fast yet it left a lasting impression.
I was off him faster than he could keep me from getting off.
He looked at me one eye brow raised.
I looked away embarrassed.
'Only for tonight.'
The thought was back and I knew it spoke the truth.
Sesshomaru was not mine for the taking, only for tonight.
I smiled and walked back to him, though I felt like crap.
Reaching out I unclasped his pants and pushed them down.
He did the rest, taking off his boxers and letting me stare in awe.
"Come here, Rin."
I was at his side in a mili-second.
Sesshomaru pushed me back down on the ground, spread my legs and before I could stop him had his fingers deep inside of me.
My body was humming with pleasure.
He seemed to be concentrating, his fingers were diving in and out of me, I was bucking with him, moaning out his name.
I felt my body clench and suddenly I became very hot.
Panting, I gazed at Sesshomaru.
He was looking at me.
I groaned wondering what he saw.
I felt my blood boil before it all built up in one earth shattering moment.
Sweaty I lay beside myself seeing stars.
Sesshomaru wrapped my legs around his waist and in one swift movement was inside me.
A soft pop was heard and pain flowed through me.
"Ack!" I groaned.
Minutes passed and I wasn't sure if the pain had subsided.
He made a small movement, and I moaned.
Within seconds he was pounding into me, his thrusts deep and intoxicating.
I felt myself begin to climax once more, my muscles clenching inside my stomach.
Sesshomaru reached between us, his fingers stroking me, before he became still.
A low hiss escaped his mouth, his seed spilled into me.
He pushed himself up and off of me.
Sesshomaru reached from behind the sofa in the middle of the room pulling out a big bark blue blanket.
I wrapped myself in it and laid down, I didn't know Sesshomaru was going to lay down with me as well.
Nor did I expect him to wrap his arms around me and fall asleep like that.
We made love 3 more times that night, our minds lost in the passion and throws of sex, my heart was lost as well.
I knew it was just sex to him, and he was merely getting rid of a need, but I was making love, I was not just having sex, I was giving away my heart.
I was too ashamed to return to school, so I moved to a different town to live with my mother.
Nine years have passed since then, and I have become older and wiser
Of course having a child to care for will force you to do that.
Nine months afterwards, I had a baby girl. He doesn't know about her, and if I have it my way, he never will.
I often hear about him, on the radio when I'm driving to work, or on T.V. when I watch the news, he hasn't married, but from what I saw Kagome has married his younger brother Inuyasha and Miroku has asked Sango to marry him.
They don't know where I am. I didn't tell anyone. Of course now I must go back, but only for a couple days, my father passed away and I must attend his funeral and clean out his house.
I don't think it will be too long a stay, but I'm not looking forward to it.
Suena: Well I don't know if I'm going to leave it like this or continue on with a story. Thank you for reading.