Reason: I have a newfound respect for Jacob Black.
Time Frame: Beginning of Breaking Dawn. This is my own rendition of how Bella's meeting with Jacob went.
Inspiration: Congratulations by Blue October. Song is cut for my own purposes. I recommend listening to it while you read this, if you can read while music is playing.
( ( Congratulations ) )
I came to see the light in my best friend...
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been.
My chance of being open was broken-
And now you're Mrs. Him.
( ( Jacob Black ) )
The smell of Forks filled my senses. It was... the smell of home. With the fragrance came memories. I hadn't been here in weeks... I had... disappeared after recieving the wedding invitation to Bella and Edward's... ceremony. I had lost. I had lost what was most precious to me, and the way Edward acted about it made me... angry. He was too nice... too much of a gentleman. He didn't rub it in my face, no. I thought he would, and at this point, I wish he had.
Because now I could see what Bella saw in Edward that she couldn't see in me. She saw a man, not a boy.
I ran faster, harder, until I got back to my house in La Push. Bella's wedding ceremony was already taking place. It was August thirteenth after all. I may be raging with jealousy, but with all I had heard from Seth and Sam, she was missing me.
And I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't missing her as well.
The pack knew I would be coming home today. They had heard my planning. My father was not in the house, and for the first time in weeks, I phased back into a human. I stumbled around like an idiot at first. How strange two legs felt... how in the hell was I supposed to balance? I slipped on a pair of pants and ran upstairs to my room. I caught a look at myself in the mirror, too.
My hair was really long. Perhaps I grew it out for Bella, since she liked it long. I didn't really know, but I did know that I looked like I had spent weeks in a cave without food or water. I took a pair of scissors and sliced the long hair off, leaving me a little more decent than before.
Who was I kidding? I still looked like a mess.
Funny, it looked like I had lost the only thing in my life that held meaning. I took a clean black t-shirt, a clean pair of jeans and I looked myself over in the mirror once more, running my hand through my hair. I looked half decent. I looked a bit more human. Not like that was going to change anything, anyway. After messing with my hair a little bit more, I secured my extra set of clothes, then phased as I ran straight to the Cullens.
Edward would know by now of my arrival back in Forks. Sam already had the pack on full alert, in case I decided to freak out and ruin my best friend's wedding. Hey, ya never know. I've been very irritable lately. Who knows?... maybe if the punch is the wrong flavor, I'll get angry and phase.
Am I pathetic or what?
When I was close enough to the reception, I phased back and slipped on the dark t-shirt and jeans. Clothes felt so strange on me. I looked through the shadows for Bella or Edward. I found them a ways from me, their backs toward me. Edward was pointing to a glass that showed his reflection.
He was "dazzling" himself, I knew it. Pretty boy...
But then I realized the woman... the dark-haired beauty... that stood by his side, also gazing into the glass. Was that really Bella?
'Edward...' I called his name in my thoughts, and I saw his head snap around and look towards me. He smiled and turned back to Bella, speaking closely to her. He gracefully danced with her in my direction. My heart rate picked up a few paces. She looked so beautiful. Edward walked her into the darkness and towards me.
"Thank you," Edward said to me. "This is very... kind of you."
"Kind is my middle name," I snickered. "Can I cut in?"
Bella's hand flew up to her throat, and it looked like she was choking for a second. Can I be first in line for CPR? Edward shot me a glare and growled at me.
"Jacob!" she choked, her breath uneven. "Jacob!"
I would never get tired of hearing her say my name, "Hey there, Bells."
Edward steadied her until she fell into my arms. I pulled her close, despite how much she smelled of vampires. Of Edward in particular. Ugh. I could only imagine how much they were touching each other before I came here. I looked up to Edward and he had a triumphant smile on his face. He knew how jealous I was.
Then, sadness entered his eyes. His moods changed so fast I could swear that he was constantly PMSing. He scowled at me, then looked to Bella.
"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor," he murmured, and I knew he was leaving us, giving Bella a gift of his own.
And then he turned and went back to the reception area.
Bella was crying, and I held her closer.
( ( Is that seat taken? ) )
( ( Congratulations. ) )
( ( Would you like to take a walk with me? ) )
"Bella..." I whispered. "Don't cry."
Her head was on my chest and my arms made a cage around her. I never wanted to let go. It dawned on me that this was possibly the last time I would see her with color in her cheeks... life in her beautiful brown eyes...
"May I have this dance?" I whispered in her ear.
She nodded and wrapped her arms around me as we swayed gently. We weren't on the dancefloor, but what did it matter? I was with her, she was with me... and that's all that mattered.
"I love you, Bella..." I whispered. "Please understand that..."
My voice was low, pleading.
"I know..." she whispered, gripping at the front of my shirt.
I closed my eyes. "Don't cry..." I repeated, my arms tightening around her. I made sure I wasn't too tight. I didn't want to crush the delicate flower, I could only appreciate it.
"I'm happy, Jacob..." she said, pulling away to look me in the eyes. She wasn't lying. Her eyes were alive, a fire was burning behind them. "I'm so glad you came."
I don't know why her words hurt me so much.
( ( My mind it kind of goes fast . . . ) )
( ( I'll try to slow it down for you . . . ) )
And then I knew what her words hurt me so much. The truth hit me hard. I had lost.
She was Mrs. Cullen, not Mrs. Black. And it burned me, deep in my being it burned so badly. Like a searing fire I would never be able to put out. I swallowed hard, the gentle music flowing around us.
I did not want it to end. Not now. Not ever.
"Can we stay like this forever?" I whispered.
"Jacob-" Bella warned.
"Oh I forgot..." I mumured. "I saw forever in my never. Your forever belongs to him now..."
"Please don't do this..." she replied.
"Stop it!" she cried, upset with my apologies. I cringed. "I don't want you to apologize to me as if you did something wrong! Don't spare my feelings tonight... I'm not worth it."
She sobbed louder. She was always so harsh about herself. Unnecessarily harsh.
"Don't you say that," I scolded. "You are worth so much more than you think."
( ( I've been wanting to give to you for years . . . ) )
( ( My heart. ) )
"Is there a problem?" a voice suddenly came.
Ugh, stupid bloodsucker... always ruining the moment.
"Edward?" Bella questioned, pushing away from me. No, no no no! Not yet, Bella, please!
She went right into his open arms, and he smiled at her. She smiled back at him and he caressed her hair gently, a nice gesture, at least that's what it looked like. But I knew what he was doing. He was ridding her of my scent.
... and replacing it with his own.
He shot me a warning look as he kissed the spot under her ear and trailed down to her lips. This was disgusting! Why was he doing this now? In front of ME?
"Okay you two, break it up."
Edward growled low.
"Bells," I pleaded. "Would you take a walk with me?"
"I tried to be patient with you, Jacob," Edward cut in, his creepy eyes boring into me. "I allowed you to come here... but you've already upset her."
"It's okay, Edward... I'm overreacting as always..." Bella mumbled. "This may be the last time I'll get to-"
See him. See me.
Edward gave me a glance that just shouted; I hope so.
"I'll come with you two," Edward said. He wasn't suggesting, he was finalizing.
Hey, you wait a second, bloodsucker. This is my time with her.
Edward growled, "I will not leave her. I already tried leaving her in your care, and look what happens..." He wiped a tear away from her cheek.
She smiled up at him and I scowled. I hated the way she looked at him and not me.
Edward held Bella closer to him. You forget sometimes that this bloodsucker could read your mind.
"Do you still want to go for a walk, Jacob?" Bella questioned.
( ( My heart, my pain won't cover up . . . ) )
( ( You left me.. ah, ah, ah, ah . . . ) )
Edward or no Edward, he would not ruin this moment. I would not be able to go anywhere alone with Bella now. They were officially attached at the hip.
"Yes," I said indefinetly. "I do want to."
"Let's go then," she smiled.
I smiled back, a little upset that it she hadn't given me the dazzling smile that she gave to him. I took her hand and began to pull her into the forest. Edward arm was latched around her waist. He was not going to let go. It only made this more painful...
"I'm glad you came, Jacob... late or not," Bella spoke up first.
I smiled at her, "I'm glad too."
Edward remained silent. It was as if he wasn't here. Good.
"You missed it though, Edward actually managed to down some cake-" she giggled and Edward let out this chuckle that was inhumanly perfect. I hated it.
Therefore I didn't respond.
"And then the garter-" she said, blood rushing to her cheeks the way I'm sure Edward adored.
"I'm sorry to cut in," Edward said all-too-politely. "But I love your blush, love..." he whispered, kissing her forehead.
I almost threw up.
Bella giggled and Edward smiled widely, they looked so... so... happy and I was jealous. Envious. I scowled and looked away.
"... he flung it into Mike's face!" she finished.
I laughed a bit then. I wish I had been able to see the blush on Mike's face. Damn. Edward's grip on her waist tightened playfully and I snickered.
"... Jacob?" Bella questioned, her voice seemed far away.
I realized that I had kept walking into the darkness, and they stood in the last area of the forest where there was light from the reception. Her dress flittered in the light. I recalled at that moment when she had called me her personal sun. At this moment in time, she looked like my sun... and I stood there staring... wishing she'd let me be something more.
( ( My heart won't take this cover up . . . ) )
( ( You left me . . . ah, ah, ah, ah . . . ) )
Edward gave me a weak smile, he was trying to behave himself now... even I could tell. He was making sure he was careful so that he did nothing that might upset me; that might set me off. I sighed, I felt pathetic. I didn't want pity.
I slowly walked back to Bella and gave her a smile. She smiled back at me brightly... still not the way she does for him.
"Forgive me, Bella..." I murmured.
She tilted her beautiful head to the side, stray hairs falling from the delicate hairstyle that I was sure Bella couldn't do by herself. I smiled. She was so loved.
"Forgive you?" she questioned.
I nodded numbly, "I can't stay here any longer..." I took her hand in mine and noticed the bracelet I had given her as a present for her graduation. The carved wolf dangled delicately from the band and I smiled, kissing the top of her hand. I did notice the small crystal heart that was next to the wolf, however. I cringed- it only lasted half a second- but I cringed in pain. I know Edward caught it, and I know Edward was the one who gave her that small crystal.
"J-Jacob?" her eyes got teary again, her hand that I held clenched into a fist for a second.
"Don't let her go," I whispered to Edward. "Don't you ever let her go."
Edward nodded solemnly, "As long as we both shall live."
I nodded, closing my eyes. "Forever."
"Forever," Edward repeated.
I blinked away the damn tears that were threatening to come out. I was a man for God's sake, I don't cry.
I shouldn't cry.
( ( I came to see the light in my best friend . . . ) )
( ( You seemed as happy as you'd ever been . . . ) )
"And Bella," I said, gazing into her chocolate brown eyes that I loved so much.
"Jake?" she questioned, her tears had spilled over already and I wiped them, as delicately as I could, off of her flushed cheeks.
"Be strong for me, Bella. One of us has to be strong, eh?" I teased.
She nodded, giving me a smile. "I will be strong. I will."
Let me hold her... I begged to Edward into my head.
Edward carefully unwrapped his arm from around her waist and I took her into my arms. I closed my eyes, determining to remember this moment forever. Well... maybe not as long as she will... but as long as my forever lasted. I pulled away from her slowly, looking towards the reception area- where she belonged... where I didn't.
"Is this... after all this time..." she murmured. "Is this our goodbye?"
I nodded, attempted a smile, and failed horribly. I looked down at her in the eyes, my hands now on her shoulders. I was being as gentle as I could.
"Yes," I whispered.
It was more painful than I thought.
"... this is our goodbye." I finished my open-ended sentence.
I let go of her shoulders and she nodded, her head down. I took a finger and lifted her chin so she would look me in the eye. Her eyes strained in the darkness.
"Let me leave in peace, Bella..." I begged.
"Tell me 'goodbye'... please, Bella... let me go."
Free me of the invisible chains that link me here.
( ( My chance of being open was broken . . . ) )
( ( And now you're Mrs. Him. ) )
She closed her eyes for a moment and then smiled at me. A smile that took my breath away.
"Jacob... my best friend... you better stay safe out there. And don't you worry about me..."
"Bella-" I begged.
Just tell me goodbye.
"... goodbye." She whispered, but I heard it loud and clear.
She was letting me go.
"Thank you, Bella."
I let her go and looked to Edward.
Edward's arms were around Bella in an instant. He was whispering sweet nothings in her ear as I fell apart. I watched as Edward ran his hand up and down her back, kissing her gently.
"It's going to be alright, love..." he whispered. "We both hate to see you cry, you know that."
He was still giving me pity I didn't need.
Bella nodded, "I know... I know..."
She looked up at me and smiled. "I'll see you again."
"Hey," I teased, despite what I was feeling. "They can't keep me down for long."
( ( My words they don't come out right . . . ) )
( ( But I'll try to say I'm happy for you . . . ) )
I turned my back and began to walk into the darkness, leaving my life behind slowly... carefully... detaching myself of all human bonds. I let the shadows overtake me, and the lights behind me fade.
And then I was gone, running at the speed I desired, once again on four legs.
I was going to forget everything and everyone. I was going to forget Sam's orders that roared in my head... telling me to stop. I was going to ignore my brothers and sisters that chimed in with the Alpha... a position that was rightfully mine.
I was going to be forgotten. This time I would never come back, no matter what. I knew Bella was happy now, and that's all that mattered. I didn't need to be a human anymore.
Jacob Black was never going to be a part of this frail, human world again.
( ( And I can't change this- ) )
( ( I can never take it back . . . ) )
Faster... harder... mercilessly... I ran into the wilderness.
I would not stop.
I would not come back.
Jacob Black would be no more.
I lifted my head and gazed at the moon. The new moon that hung overhead in the dim sky. This would be my own, personal dawn. I sucked in all the air my lungs could harbor and I let out a howl of agony.
A symbol of my detachment.
"Tell me 'goodbye'... please, Bella... let me go."
Free me of the invisible chains that link me here.
"... goodbye." She whispered it, but I heard it loud and clear.
She was letting me go.
"Thank you, Bella."
... And I would let her go as well.
( ( Go away . . . ) )
( ( Make it go away . . . ) )
( ( Please . . . ) )
Hope you liked it. It was kind of a spur of the moment oneshot. I listened to this song over & over and decided finally that I needed to make a oneshot with it. Who better to make it with than Jacob :D? Yes, I used to hate him . . . but I don't anymore. Are there any Team Edward/Jacob anymore? The fight between them ended, and Edward won (psh, of course he did...). Oh well. Basically, I have a new respect for Jacob I never thought I'd have... 'cuz during Breaking Dawn, he isn't fawning over Bella anymore. He lets her go.
... & He falls for the loch ness monster but (-shrugs-).
That reminds me, I have to continue my Breaking Dawn review... lolz.
This is a oneshot... so I don't plan on continuing it.
Please forgive the spelling mistakes & such in this oneshot. I don't have a beta. I think I would get one, but I have no idea how that whole process works. Lol!