A/N: If you've read my AU story Bowser IIyou probably found Junior's new look familiar; I actually came up with the idea for the Super Koopa series, but borrowed it and some other ideas for B2 and my other Shakespeare adaptations. Anyway, here's the kicker of Super Koopa Land (inspired by some of the stories by the author Selanp); the final story in the trilogy is Super Koopa World – enjoy!
The figure scurried through the cave. No animals dared enter here anymore: it was just him, the distant heat of magma, dripping stalactites, and rocks. Soon he had ventured far enough into the volcano that light from the cave's mouth couldn't reach him, yet he still hadn't come far enough to reach the glow of molten rock, and the lighting fixtures on the walls were old and disused.
Or so Fawful thought. One minute he was squinting in the faint illumination of his headgear, and the next he was flooded in light. He shouted in alarm and blasted a couple of the wall-fixtures before seeing they posed him no harm. The real threat was behind him. As the Bean looked left and right for the one responsible for turning on the lights, a silvery figure oozed up from the rocks at his heels. "Can I help you?"
Fawful screeched again, jumping straight up into the air and spinning around, sending another barrage of lasers every which way. Fortunately for both the Bean and Kamek, the energy passed harmlessly through the ghost.
"Fink Rat!" snarled Fawful. "Do not have the sneaking up of me!"
"You're the one prowling around my home," said Kamek, raising a translucent eyebrow behind his glasses, forcing one of the rims to rise as well. He always loved how Magikoopa specs were flexible like that – now that magical technology was used by everyone with glasses.
Except Fawful, who preferred old-school glassware, and had no love for Kamek's bifocals. "If you were possessing a door and doorbell, I would not have had the need to be walking right in, like a bear has the walking in of a cave that is smelling like-"
"Right," interrupted Kamek. "So is there a reason you're here… uh, Fawful, right?"
"You are knowing my mustardy name!"
"Bowser told me about you after you and Cackletta attacked the Beanbean Kingdom and got him hypnotized. You're lucky he didn't have a gender identity crisis because of that, because I wouldn't be as hospitable now if I had been forced through that then," frowned Kamek. He had been on vacation in Little Fungitown when it all happened, under the pseudonym "Psycho Kamek". He even ended up assisting the Mario bros. "save the day", though he'd rather not talk about it, even in death.
Fawful growled. "Putting the spirit of Cackletta inside the Koopa King of fatness was the only way for me to have the saving of my mistress. She was being too good for him!"
Kamek smiled. "Got that right. I had always admired her work." It was one of the reasons he chose the Beanbean Kingdom to vacation in, and one of the reasons he rued having a part in her destruction. But back then, he still believed the Bowser and the Koopalings could amount to something, so saving them was a no-brainer.
"She had the knowing of you too," said Fawful, all hostilities dropped now that he knew Kamek was a fan of his beloved Cackletta. "She said you were having magic nearly as skilled as that which was hers!"
Kamek wondered if the kid was telling the truth, or just trying to butter him up for something. Still, who was he to revoke praise, especially now that his only contact with the outside world was Kammy… and frightened tourists. "Did she?"
"Yesing!" nodded Fawful. "But she said she could still be taking you down like a lumberjack is having the felling of trees that are old and rotting."
"Hey! I wasn't that old!" Kamek was a bit indignant at that. Thanks to youth potions, no one could ever tell he was a day over 50 (which meant he was physically in his Magikoopa prime). The only tell to his age was his twin Kammy, who never took those potions (for reasons best kept unto herself), but she was no reason to call him old.
"What-of-evering," waved off Fawful, before realizing he might want to be a bit more courteous. "But, now that I am having the meeting of you, I am realizing that she was w-… wr-… wrong:" – he had trouble with that one – "you are having the strength of a tree of bigness, whose wood is not being filled with termites of age…"
"…But lumberjacks have the destroying of trees of sturdiness too, with their saws made of spinning chains," continued Fawful, wiping the grin from the ghost's pearly face.
Well, at least he's being honest, thought Kamek. "What do you want, exactly?"
"Are you knowing about how Queen Bowselta Koopa had the escape of Mushroom Castle a few weeks in the past ago?" demanded Fawful.
"Yeah, my sister told me about it," sighed Kamek. "I had hoped she couldn't wriggle out of that one."
"She is being like a worm of sliminess that burrows in the excrements of pigs who had the eating of only beans!" intoned Fawful.
"So you hate her too?" Kamek was intrigued.
"She had the betraying of me. I retrieved her stained-black sword and then the key of freedom, and had the opening of the lock. In return, I asked only for her jewelry of expensiveness."
Fawful nodded furiously. "There was the double-cross! She said 'this charm is having the sentimentalness of the ring of a wedding that was belonging to a beloved mother who is dead-'"
"I doubt she said that," said Kamek under his ghostly breath.
"'-and so I can not have the trading away of it,'" Fawful finioshed the quotation, having missed Kamek's comment. "She was telling me that I could get a compensation soup, with crackers of Koopan gold, and broth of coins from the Koopan treasury."
"Sounds tasty," mused Kamek, toying with the boy's Engrish.
"No!" exclaimed Fawful. "For it was not having the meat, nor noodles, nor vegetables. Not even the carrots of disgustingness! No potatoes of anger. No chick-peas of love. Just water that is being called broth and soggy crackers! Grrr. I HAVE FURY!"
"Sounds like you have hunger to me," scoffed Kamek.
"I took her 'compensation', and while I would have enjoyed the spilling of it down the drain, I am being wiser than that," said Fawful.
Not by much, thought Kamek. But he wanted to see where the Bean was going with this, so he held his vaporous tongue.
"But I am still wanting the charm: it is being the meat, the vegetables, the grain. It is being the Cheese!"
"Cheese? In soup? If I could still eat, I wouldn't want to have dinner at your place," joked Kamek, before sobering up. "But you'll never get that charm off her. The only time she doesn't wear it is when… well, trust me, you wouldn't want to be there."
Fawful knew nothing of carnal instincts nor romantic love, so his mind remained blissfully and innocently void of the images turning Kamek's metaphorical stomach. "I am not caring! I do not want the appetizer of soup, I am wanting the main course: revenge!"
"But revenge is a dish best served cold," patronized Kamek. "I learned that the hard way."
Fawful contemplated the undead wizard. "Then… revenge will be the dessert! Ice cream of chocolateness, with chocolate sauce of doom! And chocolate sprinkles of rage! And chocolate chips of-"
"And hear I heard you were a mustard and sandwich guy," grinned Kamek.
"Stop with the destroying of my metaphors!" wailed the chocoholic.
"Sorry, go on."
"But I am being finished."
"Okay, so how do I fit into this?" Usually Kamek would have been more adamant that his unusual little visitor cut to the chase, but company was company. Even if it was an excitable, little, Beanish ex-toady, who couldn't speak properly and had a passion for food.
"I am knowing that you have the hating of Bowselta too," said Fawful. "If we join our chocolatey-" here Kamek rolled his eyes, mercifully hidden behind his lenses, "-forces, we can be taking revenge. Like how a man takes his wasteful garbage to the curb so that the garbage truck that smells takes it to the dump of seagulls."
"Right…" said Kamek skeptically.
"Don't you have the desire to see her be crushed?"
"Of course!" said Kamek. "But I've been there, tried that. She's as lucky as Mario sometimes."
Fawful shuddered. "I am hating that Fink Rat Red too, and Green, and Pink."
Kamek shrugged off the youngster's anger and started ambling around the cave, growing bored of the whining. Truth be told, Fawful left adolescence some years ago, but Cackletta had subservience bored into his brain so strongly that he still played the part of a child.
"You must have the helping of me!"
"You mentioned her sword," said Kamek abruptly.
Fawful was caught off-guard. "Yessing…"
"You know the significance of its black marks," with Cackletta as a mentor, Kamek would be surprised if the Bean didn't.
"Of-coursing. It is being the 'Mark of the Dead', if you have the superstition."
"Oh no, it's not superstition, it's fact," Kamek turned back to Fawful. "Now tell me, did you get a good look at her right leg?"
"I am saying 'what?'!"
Without bothering to explain, Kamek smiled at Fawful and slid back into the ground. The lights turned off, and the specter's voice echoed in the darkness. "Don't worry Fawful, we all get what's coming to us. Cackletta, me, you, even Bowselta Koopa. And rest assured: hers is already on its way."
Fawful had no clue what the old codger meant. And muttering darkly to himself about his fruitless journey to DK Island, he activated his headgear and flew away. The sky was blue and the sun shone brightly. Today, the world bathed in the glow of peace, as storm clouds brewed over the horizon – out of sight, and out of mind. For now.